House Divided by Religion

[babylady4]

Maple, I hope you have contacted the police about your X. You are another brave lady.

 

[horsejody]

Quote:

 

[maplesky7]

---in regards to telling schools or organizations i.e. swimming class... not to let him pick them up... they will need an official order of protection and a current photo for them to keep to do so legally.

---in regards to child support and alimony which is being coined "maintenance" currently
If you have 2 children it will be 28% of his income. Since you have been married under 10 years and you can work... you will get a minimal amount for something like 2 years. In my case, I live in my childhood home but we have it in his name because I had no credit when we bought it from my mom and am requesting that he hand over the house and walk away... no maintenance. First, I want a home over our head. Second, he could very easily become a bum and said he would and I would receive no maintenance let alone child support if this were the case. Third, if his job fluctuates...if he does not stay military and goes hoping from one odd job to the next my payments would fluctuate. So if I am able to get the house I feel I am in a better situation than receiving say a couple hundred a month for 2 years.

 

[maplesky7]

Quote:
yup... they've contacted him.

 

[babylady4]

You would think the military would get a bit involved at this point.

 

[maplesky7]

It's a hard call... I had a heart attack... I don't work... I'm a stay at home mom... I'm still dealing with med. issues.

I rely on his support and med. ins. right now but soon it will end. I have applied for ssi (soc. sec. temp. disability) and also state aid but am waiting. I have considered finding a room mate and have 2 spare rooms that I could rent out that would help with the revenue. I am on the mend from my heart condition and had always intended to open up my own home day care and I am in the process of getting that together. My friends mom is retired from DCFS and has been a great source of information and guidance. My family is not as supportive as I had hoped and it hurts my soul but that's ok... we'll get by. I am also starting a med. negligence case so I really do pray for good outcomes from all of the above. Once I start having money to live, I will feel more secure.

My lawyer's advice currently was we should not prove he's crazy or he won't have to pay anything by reason of insanity. So for the time being... I have an order of protection and I'm "playing" along to be financed. As long as he is 1000 miles away.... I'll be ok. If he shows up at my door... then we have a problem.

 

[maplesky7]

And see... I do heavily relate with strawberryhousemouse and I suppose that is why I have come out some here to offer some support and guidance on how the ins and outs of all this muck is working.

Because I had so many questions about what was going to happen and what could happen.... so I hope in me sharing some of my story that she --you, strawberryHM---can be at peace in knowing how it's going and what you can expect.

hugs,
gretch

 

[mamagardener]

Get a lawyer fast.
Check bank accounts fast.
When you go to the house....do not go alone!
Call the police to escort you, and tell them you do not feel safe if you have to.
A woman in my town was killed by her husband about 10 years ago when she came to the house with her brother to pick up some stuff. They argued and he killed her. He was never a violent man, she had left him and he was upset, they qaurreled and she was dead. Be very careful, bad things sometimes happen in the heat of the moment.

 

[CityChicker]

When I first started reading your thread, I thought that there was probably mental health issues involved (probably is). When I read about him staying out all night, like others here- I instantly thought there was something else going on as well, probably another woman (sorry to say). Really now, it sounds like there are multiple issues. He doesn't sound like he is even in touch with reality.

I agree with the advice to GET A LAWYER.

You need to get professional advice from SOMEONE there locally that can tell you whether to get a restraining order, how to set up supervised visitation, etc... I would do it right now, today, don't wait. I definitely would not be alone with him or let your kids be alone with him at this point. I think you did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself. Your instinct to get out of there and protect yourself and kids was spot on I think.

As a side note- You might want to alter your signature line and remove some of the identifying information like your name. I would hate to see him find this thread and try to use it against you.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Thanks everyone for your advice. Every time that I have gone to the house so far today, he hasnt been there. Im guessing he is with his friends. Right now Im staying in my grandma's dining room lol. They are sort of transforming it into a bedroom for me. I have 4 chickens I would like to find homes for as well. So when Im able I will be putting them up here on the site. So if any of you live in the Tennessee area and want one of the following PM me. I have a Splash Silkie Roo, Light Brahma Roo, RIR Hen, and what appears to be a Splash Marans roo.