HOw do I help DH with this??

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I weigh exactly the same as I did the day we married. But, there were some major weight gains in there! I had two kids and it took me a a couple of years to ditch that last 20 !! I did not do major diets, I just ate less of what I wanted and beefed up my activity level.

But, over the last few years DH has packed on a good 30 pounds. And I really don't like it.

Finally, yesterday he spotted himself in a full length mirror in a store and it was like a light suddenly went off. Now he has decided that he is fat.

He didn't notice till now??

So, he wants to start losing, but has really bad eating habits. Because he works shift this days, he does not eat most of his meals with us so I am not the one preparing his meals.
I try to make normal dinners and pack him a plate of food, but I am pretty sure he is heavily subsidizing this with take out.



What can I say to encourage him without sounding like I am criticizing him? How do I help him without sounding like I agree that he is fat?? (I do though.) I really want him to lose this weight, but I know if I am not careful I'll send him in the wrong direction.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

First, if you express a concern, make sure that he knows you are concerned about his health. Second, since he has expressed an interest in losing weight, your best bet is to ask him what you can do to be supportive: pack more of his lunches, pack healthy snacks, keep the pantry stocked with healthier foods, go with him to the library or store to get books to read up on hte subject, schedule a doctor's appointment, etc. Don't overwhelm him with ideas, keep the conversation going, not a one time event,

Forgot to add: exercise classes or simply doing more active things together (ride bikes, hike/climb, jog, walk the dog daily for a couple of miles, etc.

 

[noodleroo]

Quote:
All of this with the addition that you want the family to make good healthy living choices so that its a group project...

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

Or do like my DW does, "Hey, you're fat! Loose it!"

 

[dawg53]

Keep it simple. Pack his lunch for him. Rye bread with a slice of cheese and slice of low salt ham with mustard. Cucumber slices and sugar free or low sugar cookies. Everything I mentioned here is low sugar and low carbs....that's the key to losing weight quickly. It is imperative to read labels when you go grocery shopping. You will be SHOCKED at how much sugar (including whole wheat bread) and carbs are in all products. None or very low sugar and low carbs are the key.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Tell him to cut out the salt. I know I keep posting about this and probably some are tired of hearing it...but salt made me fat!!!! I worked 6-8 hours a day cutting grass and weedeating in 100 degree heat and sweated my butt off and never dropped an ounce. I watched my salt intake, and have lost 30 over time. Just sayin. Everything is so heavily processed and preserved...with SALT, you get more than your body should have. Everybody I assume knows that salt makes you retain water. So, it makes sense if you're getting too much it'll make you retain water weight. I consume about 80% of the RDA of salt a day now, and am still slowly losing. I had cut back to 50% to drop the weight and was losing anywhere from 3-6 pounds per week with little additional activity. Maybe it's just water retention

It's worth a shot. It is the ONLY thing that worked for me. I dropped down from 182 to 150 since last Thanksgiving.

 

[chickenzoo]

Ask him how he wants you to help. If you try to force anything towards him it will be taken with resentment. It is not an easy thing for some people to do, I have had problems all my life with weight. I am lucky as my husband loves me however I am, and is happy when I am happy skinny or not. He tells me I am beautiful every day, even when i feel like I'm horrible. If someone feels judged, it will be a losing battle, and not in the intended way. Be supportive and find ways that you both can enjoy to increase exercise and better eating.

 

[Baymule]

I went through this with my DH. I bought a paperback book with a calorie counter chart in it and read it to him at night on TV commercials. It goes something like this....."Look, you can have 6 apples to 1 doughnut. (innocently) which one is more food?" "Whaaaat???? you mean you could eat 6 apples?? Wow, that would really fill you up." Or--"One muffin is 750 calories and a orange is only 125 calories." You get the picture. Make him read the labels on the food and drinks and if he won't read them, you read them to him. He should consume about 2500 to 2000 calories a day. It took my DH a year, but he lost 75 pounds. Good luck.