How do you live with a smoker?

[SLA]

So frustrating! My mom died of emphysema after she had lung cancer and would come out of her oxygen tent to smoke. I have such an abhorrence to cigarette smoking that I can't even imagine what you are going through. Is it possible to have your brothers and you hold an "intervention" to come up with some plan to address her behaviors and state of mind? Perhaps, it would be less threatening to say, "Mom, I know you're depressed, but..." Depression sounds less frightening than "I know you are crazy"...even though depression is a mental illness. But it is one that can be addressed through therapy AND anti-depressants.

 

[Ruby Rogue]

Smoking is awful, and the only good thing about vaping is that's it's used for cessation of cigarettes.

I smoked for years, I switched, tried many different vaping devices before I found the right one to help me quit smoking.

But a person has to want to quit.

 

[Sally PB]

@FloorCandy, I'm sorry for your situation. I'm also sorry if my remarks have upset you or anyone else reading this.

I learned that life is hard enough without making choices that make it even harder. But sometimes we don't know that what we're choosing is going to result in pain.

I'm sending you positive waves and hugs.

 

[TwoCrows]

I deleted several recent posts. Let's not argue, point fingers and please stick to the topic in a friendly manner.

Thank you.

-BYC Staff

 

[RoosterML]

@FloorCandy sorry for your situation is all I can really say. Sometimes one gets dealt a crappy hand plain and simple.
I smoked for 20 years all I can tell you is
#1 person has to want to quit
#2 thank god for Chantix it really worked well for me and here I am 5 years later smoke free.
Good luck, saint hood maybe in your future

 

[kcan2]

It shows how generous your grandparents must have been, when you are opening your home and being such a giving person yourself!

It's my experience that people who don't have a lot of respect for themselves have trouble giving respect away to others.

It sounds like your lives are really intertwined. I once read a really good example about if two people are holding a rope, and one is standing on a counter and the other on the floor, it's easier for the person on the ground to pull the higher person down than it is for the person on the counter to pull the lower person up.

Since you have made the decision to open your home to your mom for now, all you can really do is to love her at her worst and keep doing your best. It sounds like you've got a vision to move into a new place, maybe you can start building some momentum as you move toward that goal by getting your house and things ready to go forward.

Praying for the best for you and your mom both!

 

[B-Goock]

Sounds like a bad situation. I've known alot of people that had to have something happen healthwise to wake up and change..... some too late. People have to want and or need to change. If neither is occurring the status quo won't change.

It sounds as if you've done everything to help with no change. I've had bad things happen in my life that where out of my control. Sometimes you just have to let it go. I wish you luck and strength.

 

[Callender Girl]

I tried not to read all the posts because your pain literally brought me to tears. If venting here offers you ANY relief from all that you're feeling, then I'm glad you found a place to direct those thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, just having someone listen and pay attention to you makes it a tiny bit easier to endure, a bit less alone.

Please, take care of yourself.

 

[Sally PB]

Sometimes, just having someone listen and pay attention to you makes it a tiny bit easier to endure, a bit less alone.

Please, take care of yourself.

Yes. Ditto.

 

[Vacman]

If this situation begins to create a rift between you and your husband, you will have a tough choice to make, but you have to put your (you and your husband's) mental and physical health first...period. Tough decisions may need to be made, but you have no choice.