How Stupid (Funny) is Your Dog (Pet)?

[tviss711]

One of our dogs, Scout (aka Scooty Toot) is a baffling mix of Rottweiler, Pit Bull, Australian shepherd, Husky and Malamute (her only trait from these breeds is her chattiness. She has something to say about EVERYTHING).
Her list of crimes include: counter surfing, and eating the muffin tops (yes, just the tops!!) off of my fresh baked muffins and blaming it on the kids, eating a whole entire pizza off the oven (part of the cardboard box included), stealing and opening a family size bag of tortilla chips and getting them all over a high pile rug,
eating copious amounts of cat poop (we don’t even have a cat - it’s from the feral cats that roam the neighborhood), and then throwing it all up on the carpet at 3am (that was the most wretched smell I’ve ever smelled).

But her magnum opus?
While we were out to dinner once, she had stolen an entire sleeve of bagels. Not impressive yet, I know. We got home, and nothing was amiss. We sat down to watch tv on the couch. We couldn’t find the remote, so I stuck my hand between the couch cushions to search for it. I was not prepared for my fingers to meet a wet squishy lump. When I regained the courage to figure out what it was, I pulled out the mysterious and disgusting lump. It was a chewed up bagel. Out of curiosity, I reached my hand into the next crevice of the couch, and sure enough, another disgusting slobber bagel special. Rinse and repeat, 5 bagels later, and Scout knew she had been had. She never looked more guilty in her life. We tried to scold her but we were laughing so hard it was difficult to do so in the moment lol. You have to hand it to her for the innovation.

Yes, we do have a barrier to the kitchen now when we leave, which is just a baby gate she is terrified of but could absolutely jump over if she was willing to get within 5 feet of the thing (which she is not). Believe it or not, she rarely would get into the kitchen when we would leave, it only happened once in a blue moon. But I didn’t want anymore nasty half chewed food being squirreled away between the couch cushions, so she is now banished from the kitchen!

The menace:

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Thor for the win, Scooty Toot a close second!

 

[MotherofOrpies]

I have so many funny stories about my Doberman…she would always bark in the car, until we hit 50, then she would settle down, cos she knew, it would take longer, but.. the instant we went 50 or slower, she startet barking ( excitedly) again, but… she always barked so forcefully, she farted while barking, the car is an enclosed space…I was lucky I sat in the front as a driver, the kids in the back weren’t thst lucky begging me to drive faster, I always imagined explaining to a policeman:“ sir, I had to go fast, the kids would be gassed by the dog if I went slower“
Another thing she did ( she had very long legs) is sat like a person on a bench or chair, her rear sat and her front legs were on the floor,
Once, I saw her make jerky stiff movements, thought, the dog is sick no, she was hunting, making tiny movements, and then freezing again
Another time she was hunting something, and it disappeared behind a wall, have you ever seen a Doberman running on her hind legs beside a wall to see her prey?!
And sometimes, she was stupid , up didn’t exist for her, so, when she chased a cat, the instant it jumped up ( let’s say, a woodpile) she didn’t lnow where it was, so, here is the dog, frantically sniffing, I know the cat was here an instant ago, cat, sitting on the wood pile and laughing her head off
Another annoying habit she had, she loved snow, gave her diarrhea, but she didn’t care, so, whenever the kids built a snowman, great, a big pile of snow, and she started taking big chunks out of it, the kids screaming and hollering ; our snowman! Me, hollering: stop it! Dog, all excited, yea, let’s play while eating ice cream
My favorite thing with her was biking, did I mention she was very fast and had extremly long legs?! To exercise her, I used a bike, so, we went beside the main road, speed limit 31, a car driver looks out his window, sees us, looks away, I loved the way their eyes popped out, when after 5 minutes, we were still running/biking beside them
Even though she was very tall, reached the butter on the table , giving it a quick lick with her tongue while walking past it without having to jump up, when she lay in her basket, legs furled under her, she looked 1/3 of her size

 

[BigBlueHen53]

What was her name? Do you have any pics of her? She sounds like a hoot!

 

[MotherofOrpies]

Dina there was a neighbors dog, also called Dina, guess who hated who more ?!

My present dog also loves eating snow, thank God she has a better digestion

I think 2001, the german deutsch mark was replaced by the euro, guess what I did with my first ever euros?! Yes, I sat at an emergency vet clinic, cos my dog had bloody diarrhea, again
Another funny story, she had a very long strong tail, whenever she wagged, it was like someone was hitting you with a stick, whenever the kids grew to a certain height, she hit them on the head whenever she was pleased to see them luckily, they grew out of the phase

 

[MotherofOrpies]

Do you know how long it takes to get used to a shorter dog?! I could pet the 2 dogs before the one I have now without bending, so, when I got my dog as a puppy, I thought she would grow taller, but after 2 years, I stopped hoping, but always having to bend when petting the dog takes getting used to! I think now, that my dog is 8 years old, I have finally gotten used to it

 

[MROO]

Do you know how long it takes to get used to a shorter dog?! I could pet the 2 dogs before the one I have now without bending, so, when I got my dog as a puppy, I thought she would grow taller, but after 2 years, I stopped hoping, but always having to bend when petting the dog takes getting used to! I think now, that my dog is 8 years old, I have finally gotten used to it

I have the opposite problem. Until my current doggo, mine were all under 40 pounds - small enough to pick up if needed. This fellow was a bit bigger when I got him as an "owner surrender" from our local pound. He was a "full grown" Border Collie/German Shepherd and weighed not quite 60 pounds.

At Echo's first vet check, I was informed that he was under two, not three, and that while the pound had one parent correct, the other was Newfie. Newfie's are notoriously slow to reach full size. My vet's words of warning were simply, "Get ready for a growth spurt."

He called that one correctly! My new bestie tips the scales at a hundred pounds and his initial lanky build has filled out to near-Newfie proportions. I'm barely 5' tall. Aint NO WAY I'm pickin this boy up! Luckily,whoever had him first did a good job with him. He's sweet natured, well-mannered and gentle as a lamb - a real gentleman!

 

[MotherofOrpies]

Have you got a picture of your bestie?!