- Nov 27, 2013
- 3
- 1
- 12
Sorry this is a long one.
About two years ago my parents were struggling financially. My mother asked us to sell our house and buy theirs so they can still retain some dignity which I was more than happy to do. When we moved into our new home with them I repeatedly advised my father to go into bankruptcy as he was in a huge amount of debt. He consistently refused.
I struck a verbal agreement with my mother that we would live together for 2 years after which they'd go and rent someplace. Two years time is approaching and my father is only now applying for bankruptcy.
My mother isn't the type of woman to allow me to be a mother & wife to my 2 children and husband. If she doesn't do everything she gets offended. I've tried talking to her but everything I say she takes personally and thinks I'm being evil and full of hate.
There are days when I feel sad and just can't shake it. She constantly yells at my kids and will not allow me to shower them or cook for them, she even tries to wash their clothes before I get home.
My mother has been an immense help in allowing me to work while she looks after my kids as they were growing. But I feel like she sees me as only her daughter and not my children's mother. I've repeatedly tried explaining it to her but she takes it to a level where it turns into an argument.
She doesn't allow my son to speak or enjoy his time when playing, constantly yelling at him to be quiet, and shushing him. I've set times for him to play video games on weekends only and he cannot even enjoy that.
She continuously tries to control my daughters eating habits, at one stage driving her to anorexia before I began screaming and yelling for her to stop talking to my daughter about food. I managed to help my daughter get through it but she's still unstable when it comes to eating and I'm scared she'll revert back to not eating so she has some sense of control over her life.
My mother continuously points out the flaws of me, my husband & my kids. Continuously as in every, single, day. Throughout the day when I'm at work as well as when I'm home.
I cannot talk to her about it, I don't know how else to make her understand. When I ask her to allow me to be a mother to my children and have faith that she has raised me to know good from bad, wrong from right, she turns my words around and says that all I want is for her to keep her mouth shut and not talk to my kids at all. She twists my words even when I point out what she's doing. For some reason she thinks the worst about every single word that I speak. My family now spends all night separated with earphones on so we have some sort of escape from it all.
My son has lost all confidence because he's continuously told off and not allowed to speak.
I spoke to my mother and told her that she "won't have to worry about the kids anymore cause" they were gonna move out due to the two years being over. She immediately got defensive and said they can't move out.
My brother moved in earlier this year as well (rent free/grocery & utility free as well). He lost his job and is now embarking on a business venture. He does the same thing to my kids as my mother does in that he always puts them down. I asked him to walk my kids to school. I found out recently that if they don't engage him in conversation and keep him from "falling asleep" he puts his earphones in, ignores them then gives them the silent treatment for the rest of the day. He constantly calls my kids names as does my mother and they get angry at me when I quietly ask them not to do that.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. I love my family but it saddens me the way they treat us even after all we did/are doing for them. My mother tells me it's her house. Once, when I gave some trick or treaters candy and she didn't like it, I said it's my house and I'll do what I want. That sparked off the angry face and a tirade of yelling and statements that I have no respect for her.
I really don't know what to do....
About two years ago my parents were struggling financially. My mother asked us to sell our house and buy theirs so they can still retain some dignity which I was more than happy to do. When we moved into our new home with them I repeatedly advised my father to go into bankruptcy as he was in a huge amount of debt. He consistently refused.
I struck a verbal agreement with my mother that we would live together for 2 years after which they'd go and rent someplace. Two years time is approaching and my father is only now applying for bankruptcy.
My mother isn't the type of woman to allow me to be a mother & wife to my 2 children and husband. If she doesn't do everything she gets offended. I've tried talking to her but everything I say she takes personally and thinks I'm being evil and full of hate.
There are days when I feel sad and just can't shake it. She constantly yells at my kids and will not allow me to shower them or cook for them, she even tries to wash their clothes before I get home.
My mother has been an immense help in allowing me to work while she looks after my kids as they were growing. But I feel like she sees me as only her daughter and not my children's mother. I've repeatedly tried explaining it to her but she takes it to a level where it turns into an argument.
She doesn't allow my son to speak or enjoy his time when playing, constantly yelling at him to be quiet, and shushing him. I've set times for him to play video games on weekends only and he cannot even enjoy that.
She continuously tries to control my daughters eating habits, at one stage driving her to anorexia before I began screaming and yelling for her to stop talking to my daughter about food. I managed to help my daughter get through it but she's still unstable when it comes to eating and I'm scared she'll revert back to not eating so she has some sense of control over her life.
My mother continuously points out the flaws of me, my husband & my kids. Continuously as in every, single, day. Throughout the day when I'm at work as well as when I'm home.
I cannot talk to her about it, I don't know how else to make her understand. When I ask her to allow me to be a mother to my children and have faith that she has raised me to know good from bad, wrong from right, she turns my words around and says that all I want is for her to keep her mouth shut and not talk to my kids at all. She twists my words even when I point out what she's doing. For some reason she thinks the worst about every single word that I speak. My family now spends all night separated with earphones on so we have some sort of escape from it all.
My son has lost all confidence because he's continuously told off and not allowed to speak.
I spoke to my mother and told her that she "won't have to worry about the kids anymore cause" they were gonna move out due to the two years being over. She immediately got defensive and said they can't move out.
My brother moved in earlier this year as well (rent free/grocery & utility free as well). He lost his job and is now embarking on a business venture. He does the same thing to my kids as my mother does in that he always puts them down. I asked him to walk my kids to school. I found out recently that if they don't engage him in conversation and keep him from "falling asleep" he puts his earphones in, ignores them then gives them the silent treatment for the rest of the day. He constantly calls my kids names as does my mother and they get angry at me when I quietly ask them not to do that.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. I love my family but it saddens me the way they treat us even after all we did/are doing for them. My mother tells me it's her house. Once, when I gave some trick or treaters candy and she didn't like it, I said it's my house and I'll do what I want. That sparked off the angry face and a tirade of yelling and statements that I have no respect for her.
I really don't know what to do....
