How-To Chickens Contest!!! (Writing instructions of how to do your chickens) ENDS JULY 20TH 2023

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Isabella7Storm5

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Come one, come all! Join this contest to see who can write the BEST the FUNNIEST theeee most CHUCKLE WORTHY set of chicken care instructions ever!
How to do the Chickens

According to most of you, Chickens are SUPER easy so this should be a piece of cake.

In the morning you must bring the chicken bucket down to the chickens but stop at the gate and make sure there are no onions or avocados in it. If there are, pull them out. You must also alert them to your arrival by, once getting to the gravel, calling out to them with a chicken call or morning greeting.
Dump the bucket right over the fence and lay it down sideways so they can peck it out. I usually take this time to sit on my haunches and stroke their tummies and under their chins. They like to be complimented on their feathers, egg laying, eyes, etc…
I then peek in the nesting boxes and in the coop to see that none are dead or broody.
If Zeus crows at any point in all this, tell him good job. The same goes for Wingding as well. Winding also gets extra talking to as he is nervous about being with the big chickens. Watch out for mites. As soon as you touch the coop, check your hands. There will be a minimum of ten mites crawling around on your fingers and palms. Just brush them off. You can clean it while I'm gone and I mean REALLY clean it but I know that none of you will even think about doing so, so just watch out for the mites.
After checking the water and refilling and cleaning if needed (every to every-other day) feed them.
Eggnog will hop up in the coop and if she does so, don't just push her out. Grab her in a football hold and place her gently on the ground while lovingly reprimanding her. Remember to talk to them a lot or they will go into depression.
If you throw scratch, throw it into the dusting dirt. That way they’ll mix it all up while looking for the corn and air it out. Linda is self-conscious about her limp so validate her on her walking.
While they are eating, fill the feeder.
Make sure to do a headcount in the morning and night. I’ll put a picture of each one you need to look for along with their names. You must say their names out loud or they will feel left out and go into deeper depression and then you wont get any eggs.

At night don't forget the egg basket. When you get down there the same goes in terms of making them feel loved. The whole shabang. Talking, petting, complementing, etc…
When you go to get the eggs, blow each one off because as we covered earlier, there will be mites on them.
MAKE SURE to do the eggs first so that you can hang them on the hose hook to air out while you do the other stuff. It’ll help with the mites.
Feed them but don't throw scratch. Scratch is strictly a morning treat and they know this, even though they will try to bribe you into giving them some by acting all cute and friendly. Do not listen to their cries. It is all an act and you will be taken advantage of if you give in. Check in the coop before grabbing the eggs and going inside. They don't feel safe unless you do and thus wont sleep well. Tell them all goodnight before you leave. Not because they want it but because it’s polite.

Side note: Do not allow Mom to do this. She makes mountains out of molehills (or Jurassic Parks out of chicken runs in this case.) and may give Zeus cause to be more suspicious than TSA. He might do something about his suspicion or he might not but I don't think Mom would want to risk it so just don't.


Rules:
Must be under 800 words. Any submissions over 800 words will not be judged.
Must follow all BYC rules and guidelines
Only ONE per person
You must have your submission in by July 20th 11pm Eastern Time. Any submissions in after that will not be judged.

Prizes:
The only prize there is, is bragging rights.
@Tookie @Blue Raptor @GilbertMyLad @The Chick Addict and myself will be judging and there will be 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Post it down below for a chance to win!
Thats it! Have fun!


@AidKD
@The birb king
@ChickenLover 3
@Ilovemychicks08
@KuntryBoi
@Pampered chicken girl
those are the only ones for now. Tag some other people that might be interested!
 
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ok, this is @The birb king s

Whoever will be taking care of my birds when I go on vacation, I will make this list. First, let all the chickens out of the coops into the runs at exactly 6:30 am, wait any longer and they will get impatient and start screaming. Then take a look close at every single one of them and make sure they don't look sick. If one doesn't come out right away, take a look in the coop to make sure they didn't die or anything. They need to be fed at exactly 2:00 in the afternoon since that is what they are used to. Again, if you wait too long they will be mad at you. If Finn starts crowing when you come out there, make sure to compliment him as that means he likes you. Make sure that their grain feeders are full to the top, then give them their daily treat of 1/3 scoop of cracked corn, mealworms, and oyster shells. DO NOT give them any more than 1/3 of a scoop or they won't finish it and it will be wasted. The Seramas get even less for obvious reasons. The scratch MUST be spread out evenly on the ground in the run to make sure everyone gets some. Then be sure to dump out their water bowls, and brush and rinse them well before refilling. After that it is time to collect eggs. The Ameraucanas only lay a few eggs in the nest boxes they mainly lay in the corner. If any eggs are way in the back corner just crawl in and get them, but be sure to tell the girls to lay in the box next time. If any eggs are broken or eaten, make sure to punish the hens by giving them no treats tomorrow. Thank the hens for their eggs before bringing the eggs inside. Then it's on to the button quail. You MUST NOT give them the same food as the chickens as they need higher protein. They eat the baby chick feed instead. Refill their water and scrub it with a paper towel if dirty. Be careful opening the cage, as they can be escape artists! Take a look around for some little eggs, and if you find any bring them in and thank Bean and Cinnimon for their hard work. Finally once it gets dark, make sure everyone is safely shut in the coops for the night.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that whenever you open the gate, they will all come barraling towards the gate, but don't worry they are not trying to escape, they just wanna devour the grass outside of their pen. Just give them a slight push when you close it and if Queen gets her toes stuck again that sounds like her problem. Speckles might try to attack your shoes, but don't let her get away with it as she is only doing it for attention. Coco is still broody, and she will attack anything that gets within a foot away from her, whether it is alive or not. I left a stick leaning against the coop so you can stick that under her and grab eggs. Otherwise she may just bite a chunk out of your arm! Cloud likes to stand in the corner by herself hoping she will get extra treats since she's old and slow. She deserves them. Tiny Tom is just coming into breeding age, and has been trying to mate with the adult Serama hens. That normally results in them ganging up on him and beating him up. If you see that happening, be sure to give the Serama girls some extra treats for having to deal with an idiot like him.

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By signing, you agree to do everything as instructed. And if you dont... Well we don't talk about that

Haha
 
Thx for the tag!

First off, NEVER EVER touch Nickel when she's broody, she's liable to take a finger off! Always remember to keep an eye on that rooster because he'll me mating you hand in a jiffy if he gets the chance. When the water gets low make sure you fill it, but NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let any drop of water touch a chicken because it might just attack you with the hose itself!! Then of course remember the food must remain full or you'll have all the girls and guys Surrounding your home trying to break in and raid your fridge! Of course the bantams are always grumpy so make sure they get their scratch in the morning....we won't tell you all the details of what happened to the last person who forgot the scratch....
And make sure you always give the boys a big piece of watermelon, so they can turn it upside down and forget about it, and don't try to take it out or they'll get very frustrated with you!

By signing here you agree to follow all guidelines and accept any liability to the risk of being overthrown by broody mamas

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