How to cope with dog death.

[jnicholes]

Hi everyone,

I am very sad today. Today is my birthday, and I am 27 years old. However, my dog may need to be put down today.

This is Buster. He is 14 years old.

He is in a lot of pain, and he has a tumor or something near his rear hole, big enough that he is unable to relieve himself now. We’re taking him to the vet today, and there is a very high chance that he will be put down.

I have lost two dogs in my life, one Lab/German Shepherd to cancer who lived to be 7 years old, and one St. Bernard to old age who lived to be 10 years old. I also lost two rabbits who both lived to be 9 years old.

This question is not exactly for my dog, it’s more for me. How do you guys cope with the death of a dog? I am not taking it too well, and I need advice to prepare in advance for the inevitable.

Any help will be appreciated,

Jared

 

[Sally PB]

Jared, I am so sad for you and your dog.

When we had to put Mara down, we were both with her at the vet's. Yes, we wanted to "be present during." Oh, man, it was so hard to do. But we both petted her and told her how much she was loved. I don't know if she knew we were there (she'd had a stroke and several seizures), but being able to tell her that we loved her was comforting to us, especially after it was over.

We got a cast paw print, a service that they offered there on the spot. We treasure that, even if it seems trivial to some people.

I want to repeat something I read here on BYC:

Between hello and goodbye, there was love. So much love.

And this from (the wise) Dr. Seuss:

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Yeah, first you cry. A lot. But Buster gave you a lot to smile about over the years. Hold onto those memories.

Hugs, my friend.

 

[WoDia]

If you have to make that decision, be with him when the time comes. You’ll always be glad that you were. I’m so sorry. I’ve lost a few, and I spent lots of time with them just talking and petting, when I knew their time to pass was close. I let them know how much I love them , and I told them ‘it’s okay to go HOME’. Prepare a special place to lay him to rest, and place a special grave marker. My heart aches for what you’re going through. Many hugs from Ohio.

 

[CoopBoots]

I'm so sorry. The words seem meaningless in the face of what you are dealing with, I'm sure, but please just know you are surrounded with people who have gone through very similar and come through it. You are not alone.

For some people, being philosophical about it helps. That doesn't work for everyone, but we can at least be factual. If the vet decides now is the time, than it is a kindness to go forward with it no matter how it makes us feel. And that sacrifice says so much about your deep love for this lucky animal, especially on a day where you want to be joyful... It wasn't my birthday, but I had to do this almost two years ago because of cancer. I still get foggy thinking about it. I hate how this is happening on a special day for you.

How we prepared: My boy was well enough for a special trip out. He got to eat things he's probably always wanted to from a drive through. Hang his head out the window a bit. Pets and love. We took favorite treats to the vet, favorite toy, I think even a blanket that's smelled of home. At the end I felt confident I'd done what I was capable of to make it peaceful, and that carried me the most through the pain.

Save a few things. Keep them close. I keep a little fur in a tiny wooden vase near my bedside table and a little in a dog-shaped jar. And for me, personally, (not trying to push any belief on you, skip this part if you'd rather not listen to religious stuff) I believe dogs are loved by the Creator even more than we as their owners do. Not saying you should believe anything like that, but if you happen to believe something similar, you can hold onto the hope of meeting your buddy again one day.

 

[oldhenlikesdogs]

I've had the pleasure of knowing many dogs in my life. Losing them is so hard. Their lives are too short. I don't think there's no easy way to deal with grief. It often takes me years to get to a place where I can remember the good times instead of focusing on those last few months or even that day. Dogs are a blessing.

I like to write down all the little things that made my dog special to me. I write everything I can think about so I don't forget. I than will often write to them after they are gone for many months, or even years. It can help to put feelings on paper. I also like to arrange a photo book. I try to focus on our life together and not just the loss. It can help to create a memorial as well.

It can be a long while for you to get used to living without your pup. Eventually you will develop a new normal. It won't be as good, but you will have no other choice.

Dealing with grief is a long journey for some. Do what helps you. Know that your dog was well loved, and that you let them go instead of suffering. Wish you the best, and I'm so sorry. 14 years is a good long life. My last went at 11, and now I have a 10 year old dog who isn't doing well. Love them while they are here, and let them go when it's time. It's all any of us can do.

 

[tripletfeb]

When I was young, we had to put the family dog down. He was a fluffy guy, a cockapoo. I loved him dearly. Before we took him to the vet, I cut off some of his fur and put it in an envelope. Any time I was really sad, I would get that fur out and pet it. Might sound weird to some people but for a young girl, it helped me a lot. That was many moons ago and I no longer have the envelope but it really did help. Hoping for the best for you

 

[GirlsHuntToo]

I've had the pleasure of knowing many dogs in my life. Losing them is so hard. Their lives are too short. I don't think there's no easy way to deal with grief. It often takes me years to get to a place where I can remember the good times instead of focusing on those last few months or even that day. Dogs are a blessing.

I like to write down all the little things that made my dog special to me. I write everything I can think about so I don't forget. I than will often write to them after they are gone for many months, or even years. It can help to put feelings on paper. I also like to arrange a photo book. I try to focus on our life together and not just the loss. It can help to create a memorial as well.

It can a long while for you to get used to living without your pup. Eventually you will develop a new normal. It won't be as good, but you will have no other choice.

Dealing with grief is a long journey for some. Do what helps you. Know that your dog was well loved, and that you let them go instead of suffering. Wish you the best, and I'm so sorry. 14 years is a good long life. My last went at 11, and now I have a 10 year old dog who isn't doing well. Love them while they are here, and let them go when it's time. It's all any of us can do.

That was so beautiful it literally made me cry. Seriously. Even if its that you didn't loose anything but it always helps to put your feelings down on paper. I am so sorry about your dog!

 

[Stravager]

You have my heartfelt condolences. That is an awful situation to be in.
Not a dog person, but we had a cat for 17 years and she had such severe arthritis that even living on heavy painkillers she could still hardly function. When we made the decision to euthanize her it was one of the hardest things we ever did, and it was just before my sister's birthday. At the end of the day coping came down to knowing we were relieving her of her pain and suffering and that she'd had the best life we could give her, and the best death with dignity and a lot of treats and cuddles to send her on her way. My sister kept her collar and tags and I kept her favorite toy. We still miss her dearly and a year later we find ourselves looking for her every now and then, but the grief is not such a sharp thing as it once was.

 

[jnicholes]

The vet said the best option is to put him down. He has a rectal tumor, completely cancerous, and it’s affecting many other systems, including his lungs.

I’m in agreement, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss him.

I’m sorry, I can’t post anymore right now. I’ll post more later when I’m in a better emotional state.

 

[21hens-incharge]

A million hugs Jared. I am so very sorry.