How to help? Need advice "how to help neighbor couping with loss "

[missfitch]

We moved here a little over a year ago and I LOVE my neighbors, all of em, they are like family! Our fav. Neighbors on one side (we all have 4 and 6 acker lots) had A Really sweet white lab that we all came to LOVE, my 4 year old was very attatched as well. We are a young family with 2 little ones and no real "hands on Grandparents" for the kids. Our Neighbors are older and all grandkids and children live far away. So I would do anything for them and today I called to check on her and she was very upset. She told me her "Isaac" had passed away. This dog was her life, where ever she was he was right behind her. We have no pets (other than our hens) and he was like our extended family dog. She is a mess! I just don't know what to do?????? Caleb (our 4 yr old) has colored her a picture (and he drew a dog with "Isaac"eggs so she can hatch more Isaac's out!) but I don't know what else I can do? Should I get flowers, a plant...... not sure here,
I just need her to know how much we loved him too and we are so sorry for her loss!!!!
Any suggestions please!!!

 

[FarmerChick]

No you did enough I think.

Acknowledge her loss...but don't drag it out.

It is a dog after all, not like her human family memeber died.
(well of course I understand it could be thought of family to her......but do a minimum.....grief takes time to get over regardless)

Say sorry, the pics are nice, and lend a good ear. Time heals all wounds.

 

[missfitch]

Thanks, I just found out about an hour ago and just a little worried about her! You don't find good neighbors everyday! I think I will just leave the picture in her mail box and wait till she's ready to talk.
-Steph

 

[slightlyscrambled]

maybe make them a nice cassarole, so that they dont have to deal with cooking today. I think it would be no different than if a human family member died. I know I felt that way when my pets passed.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Actually the loss of my dogs would likely hit me harder than the loss of family. They live with me and are essentially my immediate family. As cheesy as it sounds, they are my children. Don't get me wrong- I love my human family dearly and would grieve horribly for them too. But my dogs are with me all the time. I would grieve and miss them 24/7. To say that "it is just a dog" is insensitive to the deep loss that she likely feels.

OP- I think you have done nicely. I love that your son made her a picture. Kind words are really what have always helped me most when dealing with the loss of a pet. That and time to just work through it. If you were especially fond of the dog, then something to plant in his memory would be nice. Just acknowledging that she has had a huge loss is great though. Many, many people have the "It's just a dog" attitude and that trivializes the huge and very real grief you feel. You are a good neighbor for caring.

 

[Sunny Side Up]

When I was involved in Kairos prison ministry we were taught "LISTEN, LISTEN, LOVE, LOVE". It's a wonderful & rare gift to bestow, to simply listen, and listen some more, with lots of love. People pay hundreds of dollars to therapists just to have someone listen to them. You can provide that gift for free. Certainly the picture & the meal will help. But perhaps the best thing you can do is allow her to talk, and actively listen, and not worry about having all the right words to say. You're such a nice neighbor, did you know the house next door to me is for sale?

 

[cluckychick]

When I lost my beloved GSD Lady I didn't talk to anyone for 3 days. I put myself to bed when we got home and my DH made sure I was feed and asked if I needed anything but other than that he left me alone till I was ready to talk. It takes time. I would just let her know you care and are thinking about her and leave it at that. Tell her if she needs you that your only a phone call away if she wants to talk.

Dogs are family members.

 

[missfitch]

CityGirlintheCountry
I think that fits the situation to the T! Isaac was her EVERYTHING! Yours words hit close to home and I know that is exactly how she feels. Our Caleb loves her dearly and keeps asking to go over, I told him "Miss Dianne is very sad and she still needs a little time" in a few days we will wait till we see her out and he can share his hugs then!

Sunny_Side_Up,
Well...... I can't leave my slice of heaven here but I would enjoy a few degrees of warmth if you could send them my way! My hens would appreciate it too!

 

[hermiesbirdies]

bring the kids over to help fill the empty spot of the four legged person. lots of hugs, lots of tears, lots of remembering.


just love on em. alot