You need to find a favourite treat that they can only get from your hand. Ours is meat & mealworms.
When you try and pat them do you reach for their backs? For a chicken predators come from above so it could be spooking them. You may have more success coming from below to stroke their breast/side of neck at first.
Mine only get treats if they let me pet them, I have a short strip of meat and won't let go till I make contact with them. In their heads my touch = I get the special treat!
Once they are comfortable with touching, move onto them only get the special treat when your holding them or have them on your lap.
I tamed my girls this way and they fight for position on my lap!!!!
To calm the hen, you can try this technique that is used with wild birds.
Stand as close to her as possible, be still and wait until she stops fretting/trying to get away. Then move away from her! Even if she just pauses to look at you counts as calm at first!
Think, she wants you to go away. So if you go away when she is calm, you are praising her with what she wants. Eventually this reinforcement of calm behaviour will improve to the point where she won't fret when you come near, then you can start offering/taming her with the special treat method.
Good luck and I hope this helps!