How Would You Tell ....

[debilorrah]

I will point out one more thing on the odor - Ken has no problem at all telling me I son't smell so shower fresh.... So I return the favor when he smells like chicken poo!

 

[Debi214]

Mine eats a whole lot when he is stressing which seems to be all the time these days and has gained 25 lbs since we have been together. I don't say anything anymore because he gets "mad" if I say anything but still wants to know why we aren't that "romantic" these days. Drives me crazy!!!!

 

[farmerlor]

Use a lot of "I" language. Don't say "You stink and You're fat," say "Honey, I'm having trouble keeping my supper down, could you shower or stand downwind?" No, I'm kidding but if you put the need for change on something YOU need him to do, men are just natural fixers and he will be more receptive. Let him know that it's not just Saturday night that you need him to smell decent. As for the weight, who's buying the groceries and cooking the meals? When we needed to lose weight we just quit buying the ice cream and chips. They don't live here anymore. I try to cook things that are healthier and he and I work out together-him on the treadmill and me on the bike. It's kinda fun.

 

[Darin115]

If the man stinks tell him. You know that others that come in contact with him during the week smells it too. Remind him of that. I would appreciate it if I smelled and my wife told me. She complains that I take too many showers. I can't stand body odor.

Get him some Irish Spring. If you stunk I guarantee he would not want to kiss up on you!!!!!


But some people do actually have a odor tht they can't help. But sounds like his problem is not that kind.

If the weight bothers you tell him. I doubt he will really care. I wouldn't. Most men don't really care unless they are afraid it will result in less sex or the ability to perform. You probably could use that to your advantage but please don't cut him off until you get your way. That is really mean and unfair!!!

I assume you still love him.. If you do you can work your way past the problems you are having. Communication is the key!!!!!

Darin

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
EXACTLY!! He now gets mad after months of "gently" telling him he is not fresh!! " Romantic " I can't even think of that!!

Thanks for sharing that!! At least I am not the only one!


THANKS TO ALL OF YOU !!

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
Thanks... Darin.. Too many showers would be a good thing. I do still love him and I would wish he would take me seriously! I have told him several times and he thinks I am overacting. Maybe reverse psycology would work... maybe I should stink?? See, I can't even imsgine that.. I would sicken myself! Thanks for the input!!

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
Great advice!! But as far as eating at home... he works nights and he usually gets fast food. This is where the problem is. I make him food (as I always did) and he took it to work, but now the "guys" go get lunch. I guess he doesn't want to seem like a wuss, he goes and eats with them. He eats ice cream at 1:00 am when he gets home. If he could just cut out a couple things, I guarantee he will lose some weight.. He will never work out (lazy( although I 've been to the gym plenty.. Not Fair!

 

[Teach97]

My wife tells me when I stank...I shower. Not good to be known as the stinky teacher! As far as fat goes...I can't help you...went from 185 when we started dating to an overly healthy 240...saves on the heating bill in the winter! My wife has also gained she worries about it...I don't...not why I married her. It is like her hair...It was long when we married and she cut it off when our two boys were little...she came in and asked if I liked it...sure don't...I still lover her...not being able to have a pony tail finally bigged her so I got some of the hair back! Granted my hair is falling out so I wear a flattop but that just makes me faster in the shower!

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:
Honey you married the man, not the body. We all change as we age. I think the odor thing you should just tell him flat out that there is something going on and maybe he should check it out because you are worried. But the body? Could be your day coming..... Ken and I joke about his belly not being from too much food, but he is distended because I don't feed him enough

Love the man, the mind, the heart. Remember WHY you married him.

I married him because he was fun/ spontaneous .. now after 3 kids... not so fun. I couldn't wait to be with him ( when he was at work) now I wish he works overtime... He can't remember to pick up his own sons meds when I ask him (son has very bad asthma and needs epi pens because he is allergic to everything but air) Doesn't remember anything!! I have to deal with all homework (3rd grade) because he can't figure out simple perimeters and multiplication. Its almost sad.

Is it worth trying to remember why I married him? Thanks... Deb

 

[AngieChick]

Okay, so the smell is easy enough for him to take care of. I think you should be able to just tell him kindly "honey, pew!", he's probably totally unaware. As to the weight, perhaps you need to examine your priorities in a relationship. If your leading priority is to have a man that looks fit throughout the duration of your marriage, then there is a real problem. If, however, you want a marriage built on love, mutual respect and kindness and that is indeed what you have then it's fine. When I met DH, he was not what I considered my body type (very thin at the time, when my previous relationships were with more "built" men). However, the more I got to know him what I considered my "type" changed to tall and lanky. Now 18 years later DH's hair is still thin (not as thin) but has a skin condition. I still think he's beautiful, and he is (something I make a point to tell him every day). I am much heavier than I was when we met, and he still tells me I'm cute constantly. We are in this for the long haul, people change over time, this includes our bodies. When DH is old and wrinkled, with liverspots and bald, he will still be beautiful. It's because I love him, and my view of what beauty is changes as we do. My parents have been happily married for 38 years, my mother is constantly worried about her weight but my father quite overweight. She still loves him and enjoys intimacy with him because of it. She calls him cutie, and means it. He was thin when they married. She married him, not his biceps. Again, priorities.