Hubby is not doing well. long post

[Farmer Kitty]

Just a little something to cheer you up.

 

[newbiecaroline]

Same from here in Alberta Canada! God Bless you and yours.
Caroline

 

[krturpie]

Still checking in A. Still praying.

 

[keeperofthehearth]

You & you'rs are firmly in my mind and heart. Continuing to pray for you.

 

[krturpie]

A,

I need to go away from my computer until Saturday night. I hope you'll post better news in the meanwhile. I will be thinking about and praying for Davy, you, and the other kids.

-K

 

[hoosierhen]

We haven't heard from you in a while. Positive thoughts coming your way. I hope, as they say, "no news is good news."

 

[BirdBrain]

I'm hoping things have gone well today. We would love tohear how things are going, but as always, your husband, kids and your self come first. We will wait. Just wanted you to know we are still praying.

 

[HenHappy]

Still thinking of you...I pray everything is better.

 

[BantyChickMom]

Somehow I have missed this since the first 2 or 3 pages.
I am so sorry you and your family are having to deal with this.
Please, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well as everyone else's.
Remember, you have to take care of yourself so you can be there for Davy and your kids.
I know that's easier said than done, but please try to get some rest.
We're here for you.

 

[Alleyoops25]

Before I get started with what may turn out to be one of the longest updates yet I want to again thank you all for all your support and prayer. If I get nothing else out of all of this I will at least know that when I am on this forum I know that I am talking to more than just people who are into the hobby of poultry, but a ton of good hearted, caring people.And it really shows why this is a awesome forum. You all deserve individual thanks yous, after all you all have shared many different opinions, and tactics in comfort. This is a thought I have been thinking about for a few days now,but it may take a long time to get you all thanked the way you all deserve. Right now just off the top of my head I would like to thank countryenterainment for the angel, I have looked at that everytime I have came on here since you have posted it. krturpie I loved your prayer, prayer is a art in a lot of ways. Some people like your self can fill a room full of the Holy spirit, then there are people like me who have a long way to go until we have it mastered. jkcoveo8 I thank you for your P.M., I do appericiate it, and will be sending you a response, I am not ignoring you. Farmer Kitty thank you for the basket of flowers I did have to smile seeing them. And then for now I will have to thank the rest of you all in one thanks, and

to you to. If I kept going with the individual thanks I would double the thread in size.
I am sorry I hadnt updated you all sooner. I and my FIL had a "wheres your sign" moment. and then the hill we are fighting keeps growing, and becoming mountians. Yesterday my FIL to over watch while I took my MIL and the kids to get something to eat, and got a shower. When I came back my father said he was using my charger to charge the battery in his cell phone. He told me he had it off and was going to leave it there over night since he left his at home. I didnt think to much about it, as weve done that a couple times already. So I sat down and sarted typing you all the update when out of the blue my lap top went blank. I was going "OH, crap this thing hasnt been out of the box a week and I have screwed it up!!!" And then, "Well if Davy doesnt die from all of this, he sure will when he sees his new laptop!!" The next morning my FIL law came back over to let me leave for a while again. He came in and looked at his phone and was frustrated that it wasnt charging. So I decided to take a look at it. Turns out it was the plug in thingy that plugs the Laptop into the wall!!! I dont know if I had gone completly nutts or what but not once did I notice the computer wasnt plugged into the wall and I was running on strait battery power. Luckily the cell phone, and my plug in thingy are both fine.
Now I guess its time to give you all the update as far as Davy is concerned. He is still on the ventilator and has slid a little further down hill. The doctor came in yester day and told me they needed to do a EKG and some more cat scans turns out they think some thing is wrong with his heart and for one reason or another his left lung is partially collapsed. Which is not good. They were supposed to do all of that yesterday evening. While this was happening I went to donate blood for him. And I dont know how many of you are like me and are a magnet to the biggest clutez's but I had a nurse that is so new that I was the first ever person she tired to hit a vein with or if she was actually totally blind. But she stabbed me 5 times repeatedly, then on the 6th try she stabbed and missed she decided to leave the needle in and dig around in my arm to see if she could get lucky that way. I had the in laws, and the kids with me during this. And my FIL finally asked her if she shouldnt go get someone else to try. She asked him why and he sarcastically say, "Well for starters that blood is actually needed to go into my son A.S.A.P, so we are going to need this to happen tonight. And by now you should take the trinicut off her arm and put a bowl under her arm and collect the blood like that. With as many holes as youve put in her arm it should be to hard to do. And then the part you'd find most important is that you are using the wife of a patient that is up stairs in CCU as a pin cushion, on a normal day youd be two more seconds away from a ear full. But right now Ithink you may just end up being rolled out on the floor." And he weas kind of right I wouldnt have hit her but I thought about trying my hand at drawing her blood though. Anyway she did go get another nurse who did get my vien on the first try.
At this hospital they give families of the patients in CCU a beeper incase of emergency. During the time they were actually drawing all the blood our beepers start going off. All three..... They Lab gave my FIL a phone and helped him call CCU.

He was on the phone a whole 15 seconds in which time they were done with me and was getting me a bandaid. My FIL got off and said, "Weve got another problem.." God I am choking up.

Davy had a stroke.

They said that he was still in what ever room they were using for the Cat scan. And they were busy trying to work on him. And they also wouldnt allow us to go a see him at that poin tin time. I thought for sure I was never going to get to give him a hug, and let him know that I loved him ever again. I felt like thread by thread our time with him was being cut. I totally lost it, sice I had just given a bunch of blood, and this being my first time doing it I stood up to fast, and woke up several seconds later on the floor. It didnt take to much longer for me to get up stairs and trying to figure out where he was and if he was alright. And at that point in time if I can a clue in what direction they had him I would have gone a found him anyway. For about a half an hour we didnt hear anything. My 4 yr. old kept asking me, "Did Daddy Die?" I didnt know what to tell him. I wanted to tell him that no his Daddy didnt Die, and that there was a accident and they got us mixed up with the wrong patient. I felt so sick, my stomach was turning a 100 miles an hour, and at the same time I was choking on my heart.

I wisged more than anything in the world that God would have choose me instead of him, and I didnt think, and still dont think there is ever going to be a way for me to not live without him. And I kept silently trying to negociat with God for him to PLease if nothing else let us say good bye, before he took him away from us. And at the same time I began feeling hate...... Hate for the doctors in our towns ER for turning him out, instead of doing their jobs, and trying everything they could to help him.. I was mad at myself for not going ahead and not listening to him and taking him up here in the first place. I was mad because God was going to take my soul mate, the one person I had in the world to be there for me when I needed him. And I was even mad at him because in a way I felt he was giving up and leaving us. And he was leaving me alone to figure out how to raise our kids. And then my arnger turn toward my FIL who started calling family on his cell phone, and was trying get gather everyone in for a funeral. And I blew when he said that they were planning on taking him back to Texas to buray him. I gabbed the phone and hung up on who ever was on the other end. Then I told him that I felt it was total Bull S*&t that he is burrung my husband before they have even came out and told us he was dead. And how he better think twice in the future if there was going to be a funeral, because I dont want my husband burried in Texas which is to far away from me and the kids.He was tryign to tell me that he could feel the same pain that I was, and that its hard to give someone you love up. But that we needed to be realistic.Because we knew that chances were slim of him making it. About this time a Doctor came out and asked for me, and when he did we all fell silent and forgot what we were arguing about. The doctor told us he was stablized again, and they went ahead and did cat scans of his brain to try to locat the source. Then he sais he didnt know if this was going to reaccur, and they may need to put in a shunt depending on how much bleeding was going on in his head. He said that the left side of his body was affected in the stroke and they werent sure how much damage was done. They went ahead and let all of us go in to the CCU. Even the kids, which was bitter sweet, because at least the kids got to see their dad. But at the same time it really scared them to see their Dad hooked up to a bunch of tubes. The doctor called me out of the room and asked started asking me questions, about how far I would be willing to go to try and keep him alive, and if he had a living will. I told him that if there was a 10 % chance of him living I would would push it and try to do everything to make sure my kids had their Daddy with them, and that I had my husband here to share my life with. He said that they would do every thing they could then to make sure that that would happen. We all stayed with him until 3:30 when my boys were asleep, and my duaghter was on the verge of falling over. My MIL decided to take them back to the room and lay them down. My FIL and I were left there with him. I apologized to my FIL for hanging up on the person he was talking to, and then yelling at him for trying to help make decissions. He told me that he was sorry to and that in my husbands 31 years (yep I accidently made him a year older in one of the other posts) he has always been Dad. And even though he and I have been together for 8 yrs he still has a hard time remembering that my roll in his life is now bigger in his. I told him what the doctor and I talked about. And I told Dave that my Dad in the past had chances as low as 5 or 10% chance of living, and he had always come through. And I told him that I wasnt ready to be a 26 yr old widow yet. And until I know for sure that his spirit is gone for good and his body is only living because of the machines I was going to fight like hell to make sure he is coming home.
Last night I didnt sleep a wink. I found myself begging Davy to stay with me. And thanking him for marrying me and adopting my duaghter as his own. And how I wouldnt be half of the person he has made me over the last 8 yrs.
My butt didnt hit the seat the entire night. I stood beside him, running my fingers through his hair. Kissing him on the fore head. And just talking to him about everything that has happend to us in the entire time weve been together. And how all of the things he has done in the past that annoyed me, I would gladly deal with them every second for the rest of my life if only he would wake up and come home. time during that night seemed to go faster that it had for the past several nights sine this all happend. And even though I did hurt from standing over him from the time my FIL left until he came back it felt like my FIL had just stepped out for five minutes. And since this all began yesterday I havent left him except when they took him to finish all the tests they were doing when he had the stroke. And even then I stayed in his room waiting for when they brought him.
They did change his rooms though. instead of keeping him at the back of the CCU he is up at the front by the nurses station. And they are letting my kids come and see him off and on through out the day. This helps the kids feel apart of everything thats going on with their Dad. And despite all of the stuff he is hooked up to , it has comforted to be able to see and touch their Dad. But for me and the parent in laws this move was hard. Only people that are on their bit of life are aloowed to have members of their family who are under 14 come and visit. And its also the patients who are in the worst shape up right infront of the nurses station.
I so badly want to say that we will be bringing him home soon, and that at any minute they will take him off all the life support, and he will bounce right out of bed and we can have a fairy tale ending. I really do. And I hope that GOd is testing us, kid of like what i think countryentertainment ( I am not sure if that was who or not) had said. And now tonight as I have re-read all of your posts, and have been typing this all up for you. I have been thinking about how all of you offered me all of your advice, and I have thought of a piece of advice for all of you....Dont for a second put off letting your spouse know how much they mean to you.Everytime they go to town, make sure you give them a hug and a kiss and tell them you love them. And before you hang up the phone tell them you love them. Davy and I have always done this, and right now I still wish I had done it more. But a lot of couples forget to tell their spouses this, and assume they already know it. But it is important for you to tell them this. And dont carry grudges and anger between you two. Realize that it doesnt metter how young you might be, your time with them is numbered. And at any second you could be going through this exact same problem. As bad this is hurting me, I am glad that we have always done these small things.And that we did know we loved each other. I can promise you that if we didnt do all of this before now things would be a thousand times more painful. I cant imagine what I would feel like if he did die right here right now, and the last memory I have with him is a angry fight over something that probably wasnt even worth really swabbling about in the first place. So please for me One thing I want you all to do is as soon as you get the chance, and I mean if not the minutes you read this then in the same day go and wrap your arms around your husband or wife and tell them how much they mean to you, and how important they are in your life. Trust me you will be glad you did. I am thinking about getting into my photo bucket account and finding pictures of him to show you what he looks like, that way you have a face to put with the person your praying for. Now go give your spouse a hug, and kiss.