Girl - I feel your pain. My husband reacts in much the same way. I built my coop all by myself in 100+ degree weather, and I just needed help sliding the roof panels up, and I thought he'd lost it! "This is YOUR project...." etc, etc. I ended up asking my 72 year old mother for help, and she was more than happy to help. Then when I was getting ready to build the run, he went out and bought a really expensive one. I was so confused...
I would HAVE to switch out the bulb without my husband knowing. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Makes everything so much more difficult and unpleasant.