I cant believe its been a year!!

[littlefarm_bighappy]

kellyHM, don't tell her things like "you can have another one" or that "This was probably a blessing." I have been told both many times and NO ONE suffering a miscarriage finds those two statements helpful.

Just tell you you are sorry and you care for her and you want to do whatever you can to help her through it.

And also, invite her to everything just as normal. After my stillbirth everyone dropped me from their social calendars as if i was a pariah. That really, really, hurt.

 

[ebwy]

tell her the truth, basically. That you are so very sorry, and that you know nothing can make it better... and that you're sorry for feeling a bit awkward but that will go...

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Quote:
Agreed! It's a really hard thing to go through. And someone will say something absolutely stupid to her. My favorite came from my BIL and his wife -- "It happens all the time." As if that makes it better!

Be a good friend as littlefarm said.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:

I had a miscarriage at the same point in a pregnancy back in '95. It was a terrible experience... mostly because a lot of people just don't understand the feeling of loss that comes along with losing a baby, no matter how early in the pregnancy it happens, and expect you to just get over it right away. I honestly don't know what you can do for her other than be there to listen if she needs to talk about it. Try not to feel guilty about your healthy pregnancy, it isn't your fault she lost her baby any more than it's her fault... sometimes it just happens.

 

[Mrs. Turbo]

I wouldn't know what to say to someone with a loss other than I am sorry...... I lost one at 5 weeks which was pretty early on, but it still hurts. Everyone just left me alone and didn't say much at all.

Well, I see the Dr at 3 today and they are so booked i will have a long wait in the waiting room I am sure. Good thing I don't have to take the kids with me. Hopefully it is nothing and I am just worried for nothing.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

^ Best wishes!!!!!

 

[ebwy]

well, this is my goodbye for now - I go in to hospital to have this baby tomorrow, and don't know where I'm living when I come out (it's complicated,ok? let's just say that I thought family pulled together when things go wrong, obviously my mistake there!)

so... thanks for everything, all the advice etc

bye

 

[KellyHM]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

That's why I love this forum!

Mrs. Turbo - hope the dr appt goes well for you. Let us know what you find out.

ebwy - Good luck with the baby tomorrow!! Let us know if there's anything we can do for you or if you need anything...even if you're in another country...we can still try.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Good luck, ebwy...

Try to keep us informed. I'll be thinking of you.

 

[redhen]

Mrs. Turbo :

I wouldn't know what to say to someone with a loss other than I am sorry...... I lost one at 5 weeks which was pretty early on, but it still hurts. Everyone just left me alone and didn't say much at all.

Well, I see the Dr at 3 today and they are so booked i will have a long wait in the waiting room I am sure. Good thing I don't have to take the kids with me. Hopefully it is nothing and I am just worried for nothing.

Good luck to you too!