I did make a difference and it feels good.....

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by lockedhearts, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. lockedhearts

    lockedhearts It's All About Chicken Math

    Apr 29, 2007
    My husband and I lost our Son 8 years ago, I had finally gotten to a place where I could talk about it, then a couple of weeks ago, something (I prefer not to talk about it) happened and brought it all back up again. A couple of months ago I friended my stepson (from a previous marriage) on FB. I am working through the down I have been in, but today on FB, my "son" and I had a really good heart to heart chat. He thanked me for being there and told me I played a big part in his growing up the way he has. It felt really good to have this "kid" (not so much anymore with 2 girls of his own) telling me he still loved me and thought of me as "Mom" and telling me that he was thankful for me. His Dad has issues and drinks and gets violent, I stayed with this man longer than I would have because of the boys. I protected them, I may have been hard on them, but I wanted them to have a little stability and learn some of the things my parents taught me. Believe me, if I could have gotten away with taking the boys and leaving, I would have.
    I do not understand why my own son was taken from me, but I do know everything happens for a reason, maybe just maybe me re-connecting with my "son" after all these years is the reason.
  2. BayouPoules

    BayouPoules Chillin' With My Peeps

    My Dear lockedhearts,.. I can't even imagine your grief,.. and I am so very sorry for your loss,.. [​IMG] You know what it's like to suffer,.. and that gives you more compassion and makes you more understanding and better able to comfort others.

    I am so grateful to God that your stepson had and has someone like you in his life. From the things he said,.. you certainly have made a difference not only in His life,.. but just think of his wife and children,.. your influence on him is now working in their lives as well. I hope ya'll get to keep on staying in touch,..your his family.
  3. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

    Nov 9, 2007
    SW Arkansas
  4. crtrlovr

    crtrlovr Still chillin' with my peeps

    Quote:well said.
  5. herefordlovinglady

    herefordlovinglady It Is What It Is

    Jun 23, 2009
    Quote:well said.

    Yes well said. Something like paying it forward -- Gob Bless you and your family.
  6. lockedhearts

    lockedhearts It's All About Chicken Math

    Apr 29, 2007
    Thanks everyone! It does make me feel good to know I impacted his life. I am blessed to still have a relationship with him.
  7. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

    [​IMG] I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe your biological son is smiling down on you, and is so glad to see you appreciated.
  8. theoldchick

    theoldchick The Chicken Whisperer

    May 11, 2010
    I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. Unfortunately we will never understand why these things happen. I won't say all the usual things people say in this situation. Since I've never had a child, I can't give comfort you need, although I respect your feelings of loss. Life is full of hardships. Tough folks find a way to pick themselves up and keep going. They suffer tremendously as they go through the stages of grief. Some get stuck and need help. But once a human being survives a hardship they are a better human being. Like a broken bone the cells form a harder bone designed to maintain the integrity of that particular limb.

    Because you lost your child you are a remarkable human being. You were able to dig in and take care of your family and extended family with incredible courage. Don't focus on your loss, try to focus on those you helped as time passed. As you discovered it wasn't a spectacular flash of exploding fireworks, just you being strong when you needed to. Taking a moment to sit down and talk and share your wisdom with another human being. Shed the guilt, let it go, you are on your way to healing other people who have also suffered life's tragedies.
  9. Camelot Farms

    Camelot Farms Chickenista

  10. chicknduck

    chicknduck Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 21, 2010

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