I Don't Know How Much Longer I Can Go

[LittleFalcon]

They are adorbs! Good to hear from you, LF! Take care. ❤

Thank you and you too!

 

[oesdog]

My life may seem like that of a happy life from the outside, lots of animals, siblings, 2 parents. But its all a lie. I haven't seen my real dad since I was 5 or 6 years old, 90% of the animals are not mine, and my siblings are constantly trying to get me into serious trouble. I am the primary caretaker of all the animals, which may seem like fun to most but it really isn't. All of the animals include; 1 chicken, 3 pigeons, over 100 fish, 20 geckos, 10 snakes, 9 dogs, 30 or so rats, 20 or so mice, a tarantula, and 3 cats. I also cook for my family, do laundry, and clean the house. I have 3 friends and have not spoken to two of them in a year now, and the other one has not gotten back to me in 2 weeks. On top of everything my mother treats me like I do absolutely nothing. Yes I get more stuff than my siblings but the oldest of them is seven years younger than me. Today she even said, "It's not like I ask that much of you." She asks for litterally everything from me. She may be sick but she can't do absolutely nothing and then patronize me when I have done nothing but work. I never get a break from any of it. I'm not allowed to go for walks around the neighborhood and am very rarely allowed to leave the house and it is always with a parent. I have zero freedom. I've been struggling with depression since I was 9 years old and being cooped up with my family does not help in the slightest. I have quit self harm, it was very difficult and still is. I still have the urges sometimes but instead I will draw on myself. It is more for the fear of going back to the mental hospital that I no longer self harm.

Self harm is NOT the way forward. You are not alone you have friends on here. You are able to talk here and its a safe place here to express yourself. Your not alone at the moment there are many many folk out there struggling with many mental health issues. Right now it seems really hard but it will get better in time. Self harm is anger turned inwards. It is your safety vulve but there are better ways to deal with your frustration and one way is to keep talking about how your feeling. Breath and look at the good gifts you do have! You are precious and worth so much to your family and to your on line friends on here and also I believe to God as well. There is not other human being on the face of this earth like you! you are irriplacable!!!
Oesdog

 

[MrFluffyandGirls]

Thanks for all the support everyone! I'm trying to get my mother to let me go to my grandmothers house or something for the weekend so I have some semblance of a break.

That sounds like a good idea, we all need a break to recharge and regroup at some point. Just a step away can bring things into perspective so we can handle things with a different outlook. Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life so just try to focus on the good things.
Have you ever listened to the preacher Joyce Myers on TV? Man, I thought I had it rough growing up without my father but her having one was even worse! ( Google one of her sermons, she's a eye opener even if your not into religion) I heard her story and I am amazed that how hardships can form us into strong ambitious women that can eventually overcome even the saddest of circumstances. Hang tough, believe in your strength and you'll be a stronger better person every step you take when you do with a brand new perspective.

 

[BantammChick]

I'm so sorry @LittleFalcon. Remember God loves you and that we are here for you.

 

[luvmigirls]