I don't know what I'm going to do

[PotterWatch]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I didn't read all the comments, but I agree that your husband sounds like a coward. It is going to be difficult, but you CAN get through it! As lots of others have said, get a lawyer now!!!


ETA: I read through a bit more and I have to say... please, please, please do not take him at his word that he will continue to "take care of you". He may have given you some money, but that doesn't mean that he will follow through with his word. I know that you want to believe he will treat you as you deserve, but I have known too many women who think things don't look so bad at the beginning of their divorce, but it doesn't take long for their "honest, and still-caring" husband to turn into a dishonest, uncaring, creep who uses their trust against them. Please get a lawyer as soon as possible even if you don't feel like you need one right now. That is the most important thing you can do in this process.

 

[eggsrcool]

Im sorry to hear what you are going through.

 

[NancyDz]

Niki,

I am SOOO SOORRRY to read what you are going through. Please take everyone's advice and get a lawyer. My brother is the nicest , most decent man you will ever meet but during divorce he did many questionable things. Things we never thought he was capable of. Emotions run high and people act differently. Do not assume he will do all the things he says.
Please get a lawyer and protect yourself, he has one... you need one too. They can take care of many of the details so you dont have to try to figure things out and have more stress.
Concentrate on your health and well being and your baby's. As for the adoption, definitely take a few months to make this decision as others have said, your emotions are high right now and it's a bad time to make this type of decision. You have time to decide... get some other area's of your life on track ( learning to drive , planning a future for yourself, etc) then once you have some of that worked out, then make the decision about the baby.


Other than that , just know that we are here for you,and you are loved by so many here.

 

[babylady4]

Whoa; adoption? You have several months to make that decision and I agree with others that he is only going along with you on this since it completely lets him off the hook. This guy is a total snake and does not deserve you or this baby....

STOP calling him.
GET a LAWYER.
GET a counselor.

Pull yourself together and get tough! I know easier said than done but you need to! Do not make any rash decisions, you need to step back and analyze the situation and get your emotions somewhat under control before you make up your mind on anything. You will regret it later if you do not.

I am so sorry about this; I have SO many things to say about your soon-to-be ex that I can't on here.......

Maybe you should change the title of this thread to include 'calling all lawyers'.....

 

[arabookworm]

first of all, I live in allegheny county, so I am relatively close by if you need help. second of all, I would wait a while before deciding on adoption, and definitely talk to a lawyer first. for the time being you need to work on finding a place where you can get a job after you have the baby, get a driver's license, and make sure that you will be alright financially. talk to a therapist like others were saying. and most importantly, learn to be independent.

you are a strong woman and you can get through this. and remember that you wanted this child, and you do not have to give it up if that is not what you honestly think is best. lots of kids grow up with single parents and are fine, and there is a very good chance that you will meet a wonderful man in the future who will be a good father to your child.

 

[AndreaGS]

Nikki, I don't know you personally, but your posts have helped me A TON, and you have always struck me as an amazing, helpful, and sweet person. Please don't let your husband take advantage of you. People you thought you knew can really surprise you (in a bad way) during a break-up. Get a lawyer. You can't trust his word - he made certain vows to you and he's broken them. His word is worth zilch.

And please get a counselor. You need someone to talk to that knows what to do to help you through this situation. You don't need to do it alone, or without assistance.

As for your soon-to-be-ex, I don't even have words. I think he's looking out for #1 right now, and I, too, wonder if he has his eye on someone else. He has violated your trust in the worst possible way.

You're going to get through this. One day at a time, ok?

 

[Steve_of_sandspoultry]

Nikki,
So sorry to read this, you deserve soooooooooooooo much better. I'll echo one thing the others have said "lawyer"! That and at least for the time being cut him out of your life, you need the time to get your options straight, think everything out and form a plan. You can get thru this, it won't be easy but you will. If today isn't so great just make it the best day you can and make tomorrow better. Keep at it and your days will be better and better!

Hey, remember alot time ago you showed me how to do this?

Right back atcha!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve in NC

 

[thechickenchick]

I feel so bad for you. I can't even express it. Right now my mind is overwhelmed with advise to give you. However you have already gotten TONS of useful advice so I just want to emphasize to you to GET A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!! When I got divorced my EX was the one who filed and had a lawyer. He kept telling me that he had my best interest and that of our 4 year old at heart. Every time I would question something he wanted me to sign he would say, it is just a legal thing but we will do this our way, don't worry. We had been together since I was 17, over 13 years. So I trusted him. DON'T DO THAT!!

Long story short beings I was so young when we got married, everything I had was in that house. I also had no $ and a part time job and a toddler that even though was his he didn't want to ever have over night because that meant I was free to have a life for 24 hours that he would know nothing about. He used his own son to spy on me. HOWEVER in the custody papers he had it listed that he had him 3 days a week to cut down on the child support!

As soon as he could he changed the locks on the house and I was not allowed anything! My child had no bed, I had no bed, no dishes, no furniture, no bedding, you get the picture? NOTHING!! AND there was nothing I could do about it because I trusted him and signed his papers. I was 28 years old and started completely over.

Hang in there sweetie and like others have said give your self some time to make the decision about adoption. It may be the best choice for you, but don't let his actions make you feel like it is the only choice! I have been a single Mom for 10 years, it is tough but very rewarding! Now I have a man that loves him and shares the ups and the downs. They are out there!

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

That just infuriates me to no end.

He is such a jack

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!