I dont know what to do anymore

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by CountryGirl1120, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. CountryGirl1120

    CountryGirl1120 In the Brooder

    Recently I have had predator problems with my chickens. I actually have one girl in the house right now who was partially scalped and is lucky she kept her one eye. So the decision was made to get a LGD.

    Now before I go any further here is a little back ground on my living situation. I live with my parents as I am a divorced mother and cannot possibly afford to live on my own. They have allowed me in the past two years to have my chickens and ducks and are more than willing to let me venture into some meat birds and turkeys next year. Unfortunately living with my parents means living with my brother and his girlfriend as well.

    Now mind you they dont help out around the house, barely paying anything towards any bills, food, or even doing household chores. They have a cat that they cant even financially afford by themselves and the only reason the cat eats everyday is because I have a cat as well and cant let an innocent animal starve.

    So back to the main point of this rant. I get home from work last night and start listening to a conversation my mom is having with my brother and his girlfriend. She's telling them about getting the dog and that it is going to help guard the chickens and ducks (because honestly building a predator proof run big enough for all of them can't be done where my chicken coop is located, it came with the house). Their responses have me so frustrated. As Im sitting downstairs I hear my brother saying that I dont realize how much work goes into a dog and that its not worth it (mind you I have had dogs before and I know how much work goes into them). I hear his girlfriend saying that we dont need all the chickens and ducks that I have that we already have more eggs than we know what to do with.

    Now mind you, while I probably do have more than what I need for the family size we are my main thought when getting all of them this year was the holiday baking. Last year I had to buy store bought eggs because my girls couldnt keep up with how much I did.

    And as Im listening to my mom trying to reason with them and explain it they are just complaining that I always get everything I want meanwhile they "cant" have anything. Now mind you, I have a job, I buy all the feed for my animals, I clean the coops when needed and I feed and water them daily without asking for help from anyone else in the house. The only one that does help me is my dad and thats because well, he likes the chickens and ducks.

    So not once have I asked my brother and girlfriend for any sort of help with them or to help buy them feed or whatever. And yet they will gladly use the eggs when they want to to eat, the girlfriend never complains when I suggest taking some to her parents, nor do either of them complain when a tasty treat has been baked and gladly help themselves.

    They dont realize how much money I have put into these animals and that by investing in a LGD not only can I keep my chickens and ducks free ranging but hopefully I can be outside as well without having to worry what may come out of our woods (we have had a mountain lion sighting at a neighbors house not even a mile down the road).

    So here I sight this morning feeling defeated wondering why I'm bothering. Feeling like I'm wasting my time and money trying to provide good food for people who dont care.

    Not to mention I bought us a new washer and dryer a couple months ago and not once have they said thank you or offered any money to help pay for it despite now they save about 20 bucks a month not having to go to the laundry mat. I just dont understand how some people can be so ungrateful and not realize the time and effort people put into things.

    And whats worse is I am so passionate about my chickens and ducks and eventually raising my own food. My boyfriend said to me yesterday we need to figure out something for the predator because he doesnt want to see me lose that passion. And I dont want to lose it. But this has been a constant ongoing battle with them that is slowly draining me of it. My brother complained that the injured chicken is in the house (shes in a dog crate its not like I let her free roam). I dont understand what his problem is. Maybe I should tell them when they need eggs to buy the store bought ones? Maybe I have to be the harder hand and stand up for myself?

    To anyone that read this all the way through thank you for your time. To anyone that may reply, please don't leave me a nasty one. Im sure everyone has dealt with something like this at one time or another.
  2. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    Hang in. Understand that they are most likely not going to change. Present circumstances dictate where you must live, but create a plan for the future and look towards that as your 'beacon of hope'. I commend your parents for their support.
    1 person likes this.
  3. CountryGirl1120

    CountryGirl1120 In the Brooder

    Thank you. I know they arent going to change. It hit me last night after hearing all this. My plan for the future was actually to stay with my parents and eventually we all move to a place with enough land for a mini farm, including pigs and cows for food. They were going to come with is. My reason being for staying is that my parents arent young anymore. They dont want to be put into homes and dont trust any of my siblings enough to care for them.

    I did mention last night to my mom that if they moved with us it wouldnt get better and they wouldnt understand despite them saying that it would because we would have more land and more room. Which more room would be nice yes, but I know their view points wont change. So I dont know whats going to happen in that retrospect. Someones going to have to give and Im going to try my hardest to make sure its not me. I want my daughter to know where her food comes from and such. Not to be like them who are both in their 20's and neither can cook anything that doesnt come out of a can or isnt ramen.
  4. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    Your values are good and correct.
    1 person likes this.
  5. mustang56

    mustang56 Songster

    Jan 4, 2012
    The dog may not only help guard your chickens and keep away predators......but will also guard the house...
    Well of coarse that's depending on the dog....(if its been around poultry)
    If your parents don't mind you getting a dog, and your paying for its care...you have the room... go for it...
    Try not to let the cry babies get to you.,... =)
    Fresh eggs can't be beat.....!
    1 person likes this.
  6. CountryGirl1120

    CountryGirl1120 In the Brooder

    I was thinking a great pyrenees as I've heard such good things about them. Still in the looks of finding one however. I'm trying not to let them bother me but with them it seems like they think they should be able to do whatever they want and I cant.

    I know fresh eggs cant be beat! I will never go back to store bought again. I was so sad last christmas when I had to use store bought eggs for baking.
  7. Hi, welcome to BYC! [​IMG]

    Family relationships are for me one of the most difficult things. How amazing that your parents are still married and they sound very supportive. [​IMG]

    I come from a family where my brothers and sister resent me because I set goals and work towards achieving them without complaining about where we started in life. For some reason they don't understand that concept. They act like everything we (my family) have was handed to us. I can assure you that is not the case! Some people just don't get it, work for what you want. And ultimately the reason they resent me is because they are jealous! [​IMG]

    Divorce is never easy, I'm sure! I bet having your parents around and seeing you recover is HUGE for your daughter. And the experience of having the animals, I can attest to the positive effects it has on a growing mind. And the soothing enjoyment that comes from seeing them just do what they do. Taking it back to the basics and keeping it simple could literally save a kids life. These days there is so much pressure on them with little means of escape.

    However we have been different since we were kids. I was obedient and my sister was always in trouble. We were raised by addicts and spent our fair share of time in mostly cruddy foster homes ( a couple were good). Now as adults.... My sister is addicted to pain killers & her kids in foster care, her daughter having 2 kids before 17 with an abusive boyfriend & her 2 boys going to jail for burglary. My oldest brother is a heroin addict and has done it with both of my parents, his daughter is in foster care. My youngest brother addicted to prescriptions as well and no contact with his boys and has used heroin. [​IMG]

    My hubby likes to say "do what you love and money will follow". I say don't lose your passion, stay strong for your daughter and parents.

    Dogs can be fine with cats if trained. And it doesn't have to be all cats, just your brothers' that it doesn't hunt. I doubt a dog could do much against a mountain lion. And it will have to be outside to protect your livestock. (mine are indoors at night, they were pets before I had livestock). 1 of my dogs caught a gopher yesterday after trying for a year and a half. Of course it is extra work to have dogs and the initial training especially. However, I live in a predator heavy environment and have not yet had the problems I hear from so many. So they are keeping them at bay without even trying.

    You are right, they are not going to change. But you are the bigger person. Keep doing the right thing. [​IMG]
    1 person likes this.
  8. You may not be able to predator proof your run and all, but you can set a trap until you find a dog.

    Mine are all rescues, 1 labrabull, 1 lab/hound mix, 1 queensland heeler. I think mix breeds are just as good if not better than pricey pure breeds.
  9. Pennychickens1

    Pennychickens1 Chirping

    Aug 27, 2014
    On the parent side of thing my kids moved home an trying to get them to help out is hard ! They are adults so I do not want to have to ask them to they should just know to help out . But it sounds like you are trying to be of help sounds like your brother is not sorry for that .i would get a light that turns on with Motion sensors dogs dig really big big holes .i have two mastiff they do help with the chicken but I pick up more poop from them then eggs from my hens also if cost around 200 a month to feed them granted I do love them but 200 a month is a lot of money but that is for two .
  10. CountryGirl1120

    CountryGirl1120 In the Brooder

    Thank you for sharing your story with me. It's sad that you have all that going on in your family, but at least you have risen above it.

    I know that a dog isnt going to be able to do much against a mountain lion. I dont think thats whats taking them at all. I do have a trap set and unfortunately havent caught anything yet or have I seen anything but a stray cat which could very well be the culprit. Have yet to catch that either. I know about the extra work and training and realize it will have to stay outside. I have had dogs before and am no stranger to the training of them or any of the sort. I was thinking of bringing the dog in at night as well since everyone is locked up securely. Is that possible? But like you I live in a somewhat heavy predator area with coydogs coming into our back yard! Its why to me a dog to guard not only my livestock but my family as well is ideal. I dread when my five year old goes outside especially since I dont know whats picking off my animals. I would love if I could find a mix of any sort. I have one right now but she is kind of small to do any real damage and very docile. Mainly barks, wont even chase mice or squirrels. [​IMG]

    Your heeler does good with your chickens? I love the looks of the heelers and wouldnt mind one of those at all I just didnt realize they wouldnt attack the chickens.

    I have thought about motion sensors, but they are not being grabbed at night when they are locked up. It was during the day and when no one was outside. If I am outside with the chickens all is fine. But alas work keeps me from that dream job.

    And yes it is the same with my brother and his girlfriend. They have to be asked to feed their cat, to keep their room clean and they are in their 20s. I know dogs are expensive to feed we had a bull mastiff once that made our dog food bill go through the roof. Only reason we dont have her anymore is because she went after my daughter. Bad breeding there. I do not fault the breed whatsoever I fault her breeder.

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