I dont recall asking for advice...

[Trish1974]

Actually the only problem I had with my baby son was, everyone would comment that it was terrible to waste red hair on a boy.

People say the dumbest things...
...and the human race is getting dumber, and dumber, and dumber...

 

[MochaDuck]

I understand your frustration. Thankfully people don't push me to take their advice often. But when they do, it makes me so aggravated!

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

If someone is hurrying me I like to tell them: “I have 2 speeds, if you don’t like this one, you’re going to hate the other one.”

For general unwanted advice just say: “Thanks, I usually like to make my own mistakes, but I’ll try screwing it up your way and see what happens.”

Push back with a little humor and a smile, and most people will get the point...

If you’re getting too much unwanted advice, you might just be too nice

I think we train people how to treat us, if we allow them to treat us in a way we don’t like, we’re telling them it’s okay... if we push back a little most people get the point.

What a great point. Its not that I'm too nice though. I just dont want to be rude to my elders. Perhaps that is being too nice. I just know that its really irritating for someone to come over to MY house and tell ME what I'm doing wrong. I think thats disrespectful. But I take (or try to) the high road and be the better person. Of course though since I didnt stand up and say something I feel angry for the next couple of days

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Honestly the fat shaming is just plain rude, disrespectful or even deliberately hurtful.
Seriously.
At my age I tend to call people on the carpet about that stuff.
There is NO excuse for it.

What does "call people on the carpet" mean? Never heard that turn of phrase. But that is just my Grandma's way. She says it to my dad too. Its always "you've gotten fat. I've gotta put you to work". Ive learned not to take it internally. But I've been fat shamed a lot. I was told I will "blow up like a ballon" when I get pregnant. My father and sister ganged up on me about my weight. The worst part: Im not that fat. I'm overweight but not obese let alone morbidly obese. This has been a reoccurring thing my whole life. I always respond with:
I eat right. I eat my vegetables. I dont eat fast food and I cook everything myself. I'm limiting fat intake and I dont eat sugar. I do not have Diabetes either. My cholesterol is normal. So whats the issue if Im fat?

 

[Thyme4Chickens]

I think we train people how to treat us, if we allow them to treat us in a way we don’t like, we’re telling them it’s okay... if we push back a little most people get the point.

I agree. Personal boundaries are so very important.

As to the dog being on leash.... "She is in training."

Yes, perfect. That's what I used with my dog, too.

Of course though since I didnt stand up and say something I feel angry for the next couple of days

Oh, I hear you! If these are people important in your life, there is nothing wrong/disrespectful with contacting them and saying, "you know, I'm feeling off after our conversation because of xyz... can we talk about it?" Or if you decide you just want to "let it go", practice countering the angry thoughts with "I am imperfect, I make mistakes (ie not standing up for myself)" helps me.

 

[21hens-incharge]

What does "call people on the carpet" mean? Never heard that turn of phrase. But that is just my Grandma's way. She says it to my dad too. Its always "you've gotten fat. I've gotta put you to work". Ive learned not to take it internally. But I've been fat shamed a lot. I was told I will "blow up like a ballon" when I get pregnant. My father and sister ganged up on me about my weight. The worst part: Im not that fat. I'm overweight but not obese let alone morbidly obese. This has been a reoccurring thing my whole life. I always respond with:
I eat right. I eat my vegetables. I dont eat fast food and I cook everything myself. I'm limiting fat intake and I dont eat sugar. I do not have Diabetes either. My cholesterol is normal. So whats the issue if Im fat?

Calling someone on the carpet about something means basically....
Saying something then and there about whatever the issue is. Stating the truth about a thing so there is no mistaking how you feel about it.

As to the fat shaming.....hon it just isn't right for anyone to belittle or demean another about their size whether they are "big" or "little".

It sounds like there are several people around you that could do better in how they say things.




I do find it a bit ironic that I have thrown advice out in a thread titled "I don't recall asking for advice".

 

[Thyme4Chickens]

I do find it a bit ironic that I have thrown advice out in a thread titled "I don't recall asking for advice".

Hahahahaha!!! Me too!!! Though she did ask for how we deal with unwelcome advice, so advice about that is welcome, right @Ninja Squirrel ????

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Hahahahaha!!! Me too!!! Though she did ask for how we deal with unwelcome advice, so advice about that is welcome, right @Ninja Squirrel ????

Absolutely!

 

[OhZark Biddies]

I looked up the origin of call onto the carpet... it’s kinda interesting...

“.....early in the 1800 the idiom walk the carpet came into use to describe a servant being called before his mistress or master in order to be scolded or blamed for a mistake or infraction. The idea is that the servant has been called out of the kitchen with a flagstone floor, or the servants’ quarters with wooden floors, into the quarters of the master of the house where the floors are carpeted. It seems that somehow the idioms on the carpet and walk the carpet became fused in American English in the phrase call on the carpet, used as early as the 1880s. Today, the term call on the carpet may be used to describe a reprimand to anyone, from anyone, but it is usually a superior who calls a subordinate on the carpet.”

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

I looked up the origin of call onto the carpet... it’s kinda interesting...

“.....early in the 1800 the idiom walk the carpet came into use to describe a servant being called before his mistress or master in order to be scolded or blamed for a mistake or infraction. The idea is that the servant has been called out of the kitchen with a flagstone floor, or the servants’ quarters with wooden floors, into the quarters of the master of the house where the floors are carpeted. It seems that somehow the idioms on the carpet and walk the carpet became fused in American English in the phrase call on the carpet, used as early as the 1880s. Today, the term call on the carpet may be used to describe a reprimand to anyone, from anyone, but it is usually a superior who calls a subordinate on the carpet.”

Thats crazy that its been around that long and ive never heard it. Maybe ive just been living under a rock