I feel like I have been taken advantage of. Long Vent UPDATE #19

[lockedhearts]

Many of you know that one of the things we do is Show Horses. I have a friend, he has nice horses but , IMO is afraid of horses. He used to be a farrier but no longer does that. He will halter break any thing and has 3 and 4 year olds that are just standing in the pasture. They are not wild, just can't do anything with them.
Anyway, he goes and buys this really nice colt to show, he has no clue how to get a horse ready to go show, so me, being a good friend tells him, I will teach you. After all, if a friend had not taught me , I would not know. So the first couple of shows I get the horse ready, explaining everything I am doing .
This weekend, we went to a Show, the classes were on Sunday, this show was 2 hours away so we took the friends Truck and trailer so we would have a place to sleep saturday night. I left some horses home and the friend was coming over later as he had to attend a wedding saturday afternoon. Long story short, hubby and I load trailer, get his horse, come back here and get our 2, drive over, unload, hook up trailer in RV spot, work horses, get soaked in 3 seperate down pours, manage to get 2 horses bathed and ready even when the power goes out for a couple of hours. The friend FINALLY gets over there at 1 am. I had talked to him at 5, my horses at home had not been fed yet, even though I left buckets with feed and their hay out for each horse, it would have taken less than 10 minutes to feed, oh and the wedding was about 15 miles below where I live ( in other words my house was between the wedding and where he lives) I had asked him around 5 to please pick hubby and I up something to eat when he came over, that way we did not have to unhook the truck from the trailer.
So after all of that, the rain and power outage, he calls at 11pm. he is just now feeding my horses (who got fed at 7am) , he finally shows up at 1 am, brought us cold sandwiches from McDonalds. By this time I am angry and upset and exhausted, I set my alarm for 6am and go to sleep.
He wakes us up at 5:30 to go eat breakfast. I still needed to finish up the Halter Horses and ride my mare before the classes at 9 am. He lets me get his horse ready, never asks if he can help or anything. I managed to get everything done. He goes out and wins all his classes, I do ok with mine, after we showed, I told him I was proud of him. Do you think he even said Thanks! NO!!!!!!!! After he showed, he went and changed, came back and said "I am really tired, if ya'll have all of this I am going home! I still had my riding classes to go. We got done, got everything loaded, came home, unloaded our horses and all the stuff, took his horse, trailer and truck back to his house. Still no word of Thanks or anything.

Oh yeah, I forgot this part, when I talked to him at 11 I had not bathed his horse yet, the power was out, he yelled at me that I should have taken care of his horse first! I was like "WHAT" Hubby was angry, I was angry and it was really just a crappy way to treat someone who was providing you with at least $500 worth of services for FREE!!! Really, if I had been a trainer he would have paid at least $200 per day for a Show Fee.

This will never happen again! I am going to a show saturday, he knows about it, if he calls me and asks for my help, I am going to tell him I am sorry, but I can't......

Sorry for the running on and on, I just needed to really vent about this.....

 

[WingingIt]

Totally vent worthy. That's NOT a friend and I'd be done, too.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
No, no, no. If he calls and asks, name your price ($250 or $275 or even $300) per day Provide a written list of the things you will do and their individual fees. Make sure you list that your animals are cared for first. That way you can maybe recoup something for your previous labor. Alternatively, you can send him the bill for last weekend's show at I believe you said $500.

 

[lockedhearts]

If he thinks that us taking his truck and trailer was a "trade" he is nuts. I could have hauled my 2 over in my truck and trailer, driven back home,fed and gotten up early and driven back to the show and probably gotten more sleep.
Thing is, this behavior with him is fairly new, like since he bought this horse. But he does not work the horse and soon, that horse is going to be out of shape and not win anymore. I bust my behind working my Show Horses, I commit to 6 days a week and sacrifice a lot. But a win at the show makes it all worth it.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

I bet you anything he thought it was an even trade. From now on, I'd use my own supplies. I pay to have my horse hauled...otherwise I'd never get to go anywhere with him!

I'd tell him that since he is using your supplies, your time and your experience, that he needs to pay for it. I feel bad that I haven't been able to ride my horse for 2 weeks, I'd hate to put my horse's stuff on someone else (especially preparation).

Other than him seeing using his supplies as a trade-off, I see no reason for you to offer your help to him anymore. Maybe once he starts losing, he'll see that he needs to actually work his horse in order to win.

 

[lockedhearts]

Quote:
That is just it RoPo, other than taking his truck and trailer, all the show stuff, grooming stuff, clippers etc was mine. I even let him use my Dale Chavez Yearling Show Halter because he does not have a Yearling Show Halter , I won Weanling and Yearling Dale Chavez Show Halters in 2005 from Showing.
The only reason we took his truck and trailer was because with my Halter Gelding on mine I can only fit one other horse, Bucket is so big he takes 2 slots. I even offered to use my truck, the using his truck and trailer was his idea, not mine.

 

[lockedhearts]

Oh, and 2 years ago, when he was going to show (and never did) I bought him a grooming bag and everything he needed to get a Halter horse ready, except for clippers.

 

[Camelot Farms]

I think you need to start describing him with a word other than friend....leech comes to mind.

((hugs))

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Quote:
or family....

I'd let him know, if he is expecting to come with you, that everything will be left to him. You can guide him, but he needs to actually DO the work. Write out a plan or something. It seems more like he's observing so he can go back to the info for reference.

 

[Catstar68]

Quote:
or family....