ok. here it is. this is a very very rough draft, and reading it over myself, it seems kind of scattered and long winded to me, but anyway, any advice about changes to it is appreciated! Also, i wanted to work in the letter, something about neighbors dogs pooping on my yard and cats spraying at my front and back doors, and on my property, but that animals are animals, and I understand that. And how my ducks will never do something like that, they are never at large, or have access to any one elses porperty...not sure how
Dear Mayor Halfacre and Council,
Hello and good day. My name is Dawn S - - - -, and I am a resident of Fair Haven. My daughter and I live in the home owned by my parents, Gary and Rosemarie Stover, at 18 -------- Dr. South. I am writing to request a waiver to keep our eight ducks. Our ducks are our pets, members of our family, and a detrimental part of my daughter's well being. I would like to explain to you how they are a very important part of our lives. I appreciate you giving me this chance, and hearing my story. I will then tell you more about the ducks themselves, their care, shelter, feed and routine. I will try to keep it brief, although this is an important and emotional subject for me.
My daughter Nicole, who turned 12 on Oct. 28th, is a 6th grade student at Knollwood School. She is a beautiful, smart, and very special person. Nicole started having trouble in school, keeping up with lessons in 2nd grade. Along with this trouble, she started to become very sensitive to sites, sounds, smells and touch. Her teacher, Mrs. Kathleen Bayer, referred her to the child study team for evaluation. Nikki was classified under "Other Health Impaired" and was diagnosed as having ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Under her Doctor's care, my constant care, and the steps implimented by the school, Nicole did fairly well for the next few years. She's had her ups and downs of course.
This past spring, when Nicole was 11, and in the 5th grade, she started to change. I chalked it up to her growing up, puberty and other normal changes. Of course, it wasn't this simple, but in a nutshell, Nikki, little by little, as the spring and summer went on, became more withdrawn, not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to see or talk to her friends. She explained it as being tired and lazy, just wanting to rest etc.. Her doctor also seemed to think it was the usual changes that come with puberty, and informed me to keep her busy doing activities she liked. She wanted nothing to do with swimming, the beach, things she'd always loved. When I would get her out, we would have to turn around and head home quickly, as she started to panic being away from the house. Things just got worse, with Nikki eventually not having the motivation to even do simple things, like brushing her teeth. My little girl was just a shell of who she used to be, and I felt completely helpless. Her doctor instructed us to see a child psychiatrist, in addition to a counseler. I was given names of several doctors, all of whom were not taking new patients. I continued to search on my own, contacting every mental health professional I could find. They either did not see children, or were not taking on new patients. It seems their is a serious problem in NJ with mental healthcare, for adults and children.
One day things got much much worse. Nicole came to me, struggling to breath, and crying for me to help her, she thought she was dying. I took her right to the emergency room, where the crisis unit was called, and she was given a large dose of Benedryl to calm her. She was hyperventilating. She had lost feeling in her hands and feet, since no oxygen was getting to them. We saw a counseler, who spoke with us, and informed us they were not affiliated with any Psychiatrists. This counseler was not taking new patients, and instructed me to keep looking. When Nicole came home from the hospital, things continued to get worse. I begged for Doctors and Counselers to please help my daughter to no avail. She stopped eating, she stopped sleeping and wouldn't leave her dark room. She was telling me she wanted to die, and begging me to stop whatever was happening to her. As I'm sure you know, as a parent, this was just completely devastating. I drove her around all hours of the day and night, as this was the only thing that calmed her just a little bit. I would end up taking her to the emergency room two more times before September.
Finally, I had caught up with an old friend, who's children had some developemental disabilities. She said she loved her Developemental Behavioral Pediatrician and she thought he may be taking on new patients. Miracle of miracles, he was. I made an appointment for one month later.
In the meantime, as one of several desperate attempts at helping my daughter, a family member gave her an incubator and some eggs, something she had wanted in the past, thinking this may be something for her to focus on, a project, and give her some distraction.
At first, it made no impact on her. I set it up, and waited to see if she'd take interest. Little by little, she did. She started looking forward to checking on them, making sure the temperature and humidity were just right, turning them when they needed to be turned. 28 days later, 8 eggs hatched. Nicole's was the first face they saw. To them, she was their "Mama". From that moment on, they depended on her for warmth, food, water and love. She took her responsibility seriously, gave them their first swims, making sure they were ok at every moment. They followed her everywhere. if she sat down, they were all in her lap in a second. If she layed down, they nibble her all over and then settle down on her to sleep. If Nicole left a room and they couldn't follow, they'd "cry" for her until she came back, or until they were exshausted and went to sleep. 4 months later, things are still the same, only the bond is much stronger now, and the ducks are much bigger.
The ducks slowly took Nicole out of her darkness. She slowly started to smile, then to laugh. She had a purpose, a reason to wake up every day. She was needed. Nicole named each one, and they took on their own personalities even as small ducklings. I started to see the real Nicole again, and the darkness started to lift. Blue, Delilah, Jeffrey, Lucky, Lucy, Genie, Daisy and Mr. Quackers are Nicole's best friends. Her Doctor, my family and I believe it would be very detrimentle to Nicole's mental health to take these ducks from her. It would almost certainly throw her into a dangerous downward spiral. Taking care of them is alot of work of course, some things Nicole can't do on her own, but anything is worth the health, happiness and well being of my daughter. Of course to me, these guys are my grandchildren, a part of my daily life, and provide tons of smiles, and lots of love to our family.
The ducks are in their shed from dusk until about 9 or 10 am, when we let them out and into their "run". The ducks do quack, similar to when our neighbors dogs bark, in response to someone coming out of the house, especially my daughter, (they're excited to have company), or children screaming in neighboring yards. They will also sometimes quack in response to my neighbors dogs barking consistently. The quacking ceises quickly. Most of the day they are quiet, and they are never out before 9am or after dusk. The "run" we constructed is made out of 2 x 4s and 1/2 inch galvanized hardware wire. Their is no foundation, and no posts dug into the ground. There is no floor. It is not a permanent structure.
I planned on applying for a permit to build a fence, so as to block the view of my yard from the neighbors behind us. They are the only home with a view of the run.
Never was it my intention to disobey any codes or zoning laws. My nieghbors' comfort and quality of life is most important to me. We have had no problems with keeping things sanitary. The shed is bedded with pine shavings which are cleaned out regularly. Once the ground defrosts, I plan to fill the bottom of the run with rocks, and pea gravel covered with a layer of sand. I use food grade Ditimacious Earth to prevent flies and smell. We have had no problems whatsoever with any pests, or odors. The ducks are fed Duck Grower Feed pellets, which are given in a container raised off the ground, and taken inside at dusk every day. We have two baby pools, which the ducks will swim and clean themselves in most of the day.
I also plan to either paint the run the color of our house, or stain it the color of the deck, to make it more appealing. Come spring, We will have it surrounded by potted flowers and plants, along with hanging plants. I welcome any other suggestions for making it pleasing to the eye. I am willing to make any changes or accomodations needed to keep my little girl's best friends here with her.
I thank you again for taking the time to read our story, and give me the chance to tell it. I wish you all a very safe and happy holiday.
Sincerely,
Dawn Stover
