I just must be the dumbest, meanest, rudest, most obnoxious person in my area...

[Gomes Bantams]

You sound like a very kind, loving person. Who needs those people? YOU GOT US! Common , there are thousands of caring, supporting, wonderful people hear on BYC. Maybe I can have your family shipped over to central California.

--Lucas Gomes of Gomes Bantams

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Do you have any hobbies that allow you to get out of the house? For example, I am into photography and I often go out by myself to different places to take pictures. I am always meeting interesting people. A lot of times it just takes a little bit of bravery to talk to them, but having photography in common helps. A lot of times if I meet someone taking pictures at the same spot I am, I will ask them about their equipment and their technique, and they are always more than willing to talk about it and ask me about mine.

There is a website called www.meetup.com It is a great resource for finding like minded people in your area. I am a member of an organic food and farming club, as well as some photography clubs. I don't go to many meets, but it is nice to know that it is available if I ever wanted to get out of the house. If you just type in an interest, a whole range of clubs will come up in your area. There are also groups that just get together to play games, watch movies, or eat out at a restaurant.

Are your kids involved in any clubs? 4-H is a great opportunity for them, and a great opportunity for you to meet other parents with similar interests. I run a club with my mom and a lot of the parents are very involved, and several of the women have made friends with each other. There are tons of other clubs out there for kids (scouts, etc) but I grew up doing 4-H and I never hesitate to recommend it to others.

Do you have a library in your area? Book clubs are great especially if you like reading. Also, craft stores often have craft events. I've gone to these with my mom a few times and we always meet other ladies who love to talk and get together. Look in your local newspaper for event listings. Now that your husband may be home more, take advantage of free concerts in your areas. Heck, sometimes there are even really cool festivals! Even farmers markets are great. I go there a lot by myself and will chat with the vendors. They are always very friendly.

 

[debilorrah]

Refiner's fire.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin

 

[Mattemma]

You seem fine to me. I must be daft,because I do not see what issues people have with you or the other nice lady I posted too.So great you pulled your son. I noticed a change in mine while he was being bullied in K.It changes them and takes years to recover. When we move I certainly hope I am lucky enough to get neighbors like you and your family!

 

[goldies99]

you sound like a strong willed person...and probably a pain in the butt....many people dont like that...and they dont like to be told what to do, or what you dont like about them......you have to look at yourself...find your strengths...work with your weaknesses....if people are shutting you out, and you want to be friends with them, you have to back off what you are doing that makes them uncomfortable.....and NO....no one wants to be with someone who is always whinning and complaining about everthing, because it does bring you down!...if you really feel you have problems you cant deal with, perhaps you should seek a professional....i know we all have problems we want to unload....maybe you go on and on about them to much...try having a lite conversation with friends.....talk about your chickens over coffee....show that big smile...maybe when you get your mind off things for a while, you might find you can deal with things on your own...if you want to have a group of friends, and you know what it is they dont like...change it!....no, i dont think they are true friends because you should be able to talk about anything to a friend...so lets just call them company....if you seek their comapny i guess your going to have to comply with what they will except...my motto for people is...."expect nothing from anyone...you will never be disappointed"....good luck...go get that company!!!

 

[jrsckn]

I can identify with your situation. Most people aren't honest and are intimidated by people who are; especially if said person is also intelligent. I don't conform to anyone or anything, I am who I am and I don't have any close friends except my husband. I don't like it but I'd rather be alone than fake. It doesn't help that I speak my mind and am passionate about a lot of things others just simply don't care about. I love my dogs; I compete with them and advocate for them. I have 5 american pitbull terriers which scare a lot of people; 1st strike against me. Secondly I love my chickens which many don't understand. Even my sister in law doesn't believe they can have personalities lol. I'm a returning student and what friends I do have don't understand how someone who doesn't have a "job" doesn't have time to party when its convenient for them. In general, people are self-centered and can't take it when someone else is happy with their life and isn't there for them 24/7. I've gotten over it but I still wish I had a good friend.

 

[caj1985]

There are many of us in that same type of situation. It is very hard to find people that accept you for who you are. Women tend to be very judgemental (as a woman I can say that) while men are more accepting. It hurts right now but keep in contact with us here on BYC. Anytime you feel like you need to vent just send me a PM. I have moved several times in my life to various areas of the country. It can be very lonely if you don't "fit in" with the people around you. Different areas of the country are very different in their attitudes and acceptance levels.

You sound like the type of person that anyone should be proud to call friend. You might bump into them at the grocery store or sitting next to you at a local ball game. I have found high school softball and baseball fans to be very outgoing. Your girls attend public school then go to some of the little league ball games especially those of your girls' friends. Somewhere there is another mother that feels just like you do.

Best of luck and remember if you feel like you need to talk send me a PM. I check this site routinely through the day.

I've been there.

 

[creekside2012]

You are not alone in this. I also live in a rural area where the closest place is about 30 minutes away. I also homeschool, have ducks and chickens and 0 friends. I get very lonely. When I do group things, which is pretty much only homeschool group things, I always seem to be the odd one out. I am a quiet person and a lot of times people mistake my silence for snobbiness. Thank goodness for this forum so I have other people with similar interests to interact with. I am sorry to hear you are going through this, but know that you are not alone in this.

I wish I lived closer to you. I would love someone to can in the fall with, try out and swap homemade receipes, talk ducks and chickens and weather, yap about our gardens, etc.

 

[Archbishop]

I'm the new guy here, so feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt. Some of what you're describing sounds a lot like my wife and I. I'm happy to be puttering around in my workshop for hours on end. Or off hiking on some trail by myself. My wife craves people like you do. She not a party person, but loves to be with a few friends hanging out. This is something I've had to work on and still do, that is to make sure from time to time I'm taking my wife out and hanging out doing whatever.
I'm guessing that what happened to your "friend" was something along the lines of being mentally exhausted listening your issues, and she didn't know how to communicate that she need a break from that for a while. Look carefully back into the relationship. Was it all based around both you talking about your daughters, or was there other things going on to? Fun time, (Spent not talking about daughter troubles.) If was all about the troubles and nothing else then it's not really a healthy friendship. I hope what I'm saying is coming off correctly. Every friendship has times where one or the other is having issues and needs a place to vent. That's normal and good, but if it's always troubles and nothing else, then starts to feel more like a therapy session and that can take more than it gives. This is complete speculation on my part though, and should really be taken with a grain of salt. Just something to think about.
While still slightly on this subject. If you're feeling overwhelmed with issues, (IE they seem to take up all your thoughts.) I would encourage you find a good Christian counselor. (This will not likely be your pastor.) I found in my own experience while I love my pastor, and previous pastors, They are not always equipped to help me fix that which is broken. They can pray with me and, offer spiritual comfort etc, but may not have the training to really dig into the psychology of what's going on.
I wish you the very best. I hope you get to a better place soon, it stinks being the odd man out.

 

[oldrooster]

Sounds like your "friend" is a relative of mine. one aunt told me I was no count good for nothing and worthless because I didn't know the middle name of a girl my brother was dating, that's right her MIDDLE NAME!!! and another Aunt and her family yelled at me for over an hour and fifteen minutes (didn't drive there they live 4 miles to the nearest main road and 100 miles from where I live) because I was going to college and not working in a factory the next town over from where they live (I even had applied to work there and they had already sent me a written letter telling me I was not suitable candidate for there company and they where aware of the letter). One uncle told me since I am single I should be a truck driver (I hate interstate driving and he knew it) and I told him I wasn't interested but of I was I'd get every endorsement there was if I was interested he looked at me and said you wouldn't be a school bus driver would you? (like it caused you to get stds or something) I told him if I was going to get that kind of license I'd want to get a job and keep working even if the company closed or got rid of me. and the lists goes on, sorry you had to meet such a trashy "friend".......