I live with a bunch of pigs!

[Chickerdoodle13]

Sounds like all the sets of room mates I have ever had. I get tired of living with other people real fast.

 

[suzettex5]

I sure understand your frustration! Ive been doing the same thing- doing all the chores and work while the kids and hubby slide. I always felt it was 'the womans/moms job' to handle all the home stuff. Then baby # 6 got here.....

I took a page from 'Super Nanny' and created a chore and responsibility list that is NOT conected to money or rewards. I sat everyone down and had a family meeting and wrote it in front of them and discussed with each person the chores and made sure they understood their jobs and expectations. I showed them each what their jobs were to make sure no one could say they didnt know how to do any of the jobs. They complained at first, but got over it in just a few days when they saw I was going to make them do it no matter what.

Then I made sure every chore was done by me first- so they could all start fresh and not feel overwhelmed. Hardest part for me was finally accepting my 'babies' could handle the responsibilities I have given them. And they can! AND they can do their chores without rewards because they are part of the family and we ALL have a reponsibility to our family and home. They do get alot of perks being in our family, so I just remind them of those perks whenever they complain.

Now everyday I spend only a few minutes making sure the chores are done and done right. It sure feels good to know I am teaching them personal responsibility AND Im no longer feeling upset or overwhelmed with all the work.

I now spend less time making sure the chores are done than I ever did by doing them myself.

FREE YOURSELF and make them a list you can display prominetly for everyone and spend only a few minutes everyday making sure THEY do the work, instead of doing it all yourself. It really works! You CAN find the time- if their schedules are too full to be active, contributing members of your family, then its time to scale back on the activities and reel those boys back in. All children, no matter their age, need to feel connected to their family and to feel a responsibility to the home. If YOU have time to do all the work at home despite working full time outside the home, WHY do they get a pass card and not have to make time to contribute?



THROW AWAY your 'CLEANING FAIRY' wings!! You'll never go back to the old way of doing it all yourself again! (and your sons' future spouses will thank you for raising a helpful person who knows how to wash his own underwear!)

GOOD LUCK and let us know what how things turn out!

 

[Marcymom3]

Oh, wow. I just remembered another thing we did with our kids that may help some of you young moms. Each of the three kids had "their" days; One had Monday and Tuesday, the next had Wednesday and Thursday, and the last had Friday and Saturday. Sunday was Mom and Dad's day. On "their" days they decided what we would have for dessert (told to the chef -that would be me- before leaving for school...if they forgot, I decided for them and never had a complaint...LOL), said grace, got to sit in the front seat of the car, helped clean up the kitchen after dinner, and took out the trash. They also had first "dibs" if we had one left of anything. It amazed me when they deferred it to a sibling, but believe it or not, it happened on a regular basis. I discovered that even though sibling rivalry was alive and well in our house, at the end of the day they really had a sense of fairness with each other.

 

[stilldeb]

My kids were all disasters when it came to cleaning up. Now, two of them are married and just had babies of their own. They have to clean up their own homes and do a pretty good job of it, so something sunk in somewhere. My son moved out and TADA - we had the house to ourselves! It was clean and neat and the freezer had "real" food in it, not pizzas and hot pockets. All our bills were cut in half.

Then, son moved back home...and brought a huge white hairy dog...

 

[Marcymom3]

Quote:
Make him pay a security deposit and charge rent. This is what my friend did when her son did this. He didn't stay long. LOL

 

[FlaRocky]

For the kitchen, pack up all but 1 set, glass, fork, plate, ect. per person. You eat with it you clean it. Had to keep our rooms clean,only took one time when bedrooms were not picked up dad & mom walked in had all of us kids sit in the livingroom, they bagged up and threw out everything that was on the floor or not put up. When I was a kid that is what mom did for the six of us. Worked like a charm. Had to do dishes, laundry, mop, sweep, ect. every day plus work in garden that was a 100x 200 family size for us. Raised hogs for food and chickens for eggs.
Mom sure got us all in line pretty quick. Dad worked really long hours, gone before daylight home long after dark.

Maye

 

[Southernbelle]

I agree with everyone on here. The men in your life are old enough to pull their own weight; it's your job to make them do it whether you divide the chores, go on strike or start tossing stuff.

I'm a stay-at-home-mom with 4 kids (oldest is 11). During the summer, when everyone is home and the house is at maximum messiness, my kids are responsible for cleaning every single room in the house every single day, including vacuuming, mopping, laundry, scrubbing toilets, etc. I find that they're a lot more hesitant to make messes when they know they'll be cleaning them the next day.

My crisis cleaning method: Just yesterday the house was a little out-of-control, so I summoned my work force and made them all work beside me. We all did one room at a time. I would start sweeping and organizing and when I came to an item out of place, I'd hand it to the nearest kid and say, "Take this to the kitchen." "Put this on my desk." "Go get a laundry basket." "Bring me the dust pan." I'd have them running around like crazy putting things away. For me, the worst part of cleaning is all the walking around I have to do to get everything back where it belongs, so that's why I use kid power. (They have too much energy anyway.

) It took less than 30 minutes to get the living room, dining room, kitchen, den, hallway and main bathroom picked up and floors swept. Then I dismissed my work force.

I never ask my DH to do housework because he works all week to support us all, he does all the yardwork and he doesn't generate a lot of mess. He usually puts his dishes in the kitchen and always puts his laundry in the dirty laundry baskets.

 

[JD4570]

WARNING: THIS IS ADVICE FROM A GUY! That being said don't do their clothes, pile them in your hubby's recliner. Don't cook or wash the dishes. Do you have freezer with a lock? If so lock it! Absolutely refuse to co-operate with them until they co-operate with you! Play hide and seek with their shoes, you hide they seek. I am definitely NOT the neatest guy around but guys can't stand other guys crap in their living space. It drives them nuts. Tell hubby the clothes are going in his chair until he makes the boys do their own laundry. If he throws the clothes back in the floor, when he gets up and leaves the room put them back in. Do not stop until he gets the message and makes the boys do the laundry! That's my 2 cents.

 

[flocksalot]

Quote:
If only he would keep one area clean, but alas my husband is an unorganized slob in all areas of life. He can't find his tools so he swipes mine and then can't remember where he left them. He can deny taking them all he wants, but he knows I always put my things away. Someday we will have separate sheds for our things and I will keep mine locked. I'm thinking of setting one of my greenhouses up and building a shed/storage area in there. We weren't quit ready for them, but hey I need my space too!

 

[MuckyPuppy]

Oh wow, My kids (4) can be a little lazy and I am always nagging at them to keep their rooms clean but the eldest (son) does ask me if I need any help on a regular basis. On the other hand, my husband is great. When he is at home, he irons his own clothes and irons the kids school clothes at the same time. If I'm ill and I haven't got around to doing the dishes, when he get home from work he will take out his cuff links, roll up his sleeves and do them. If I look really sick (usually flu) he will get started on dinner as well. I ended up in hospital a few times in the last seven years (Pericarditis, Pancreatitis and Acidosis) and the first two times he took care of the then three children, the house and worked. With the last one he took care of the now four kids (the youngest was a baby at the time), the house and worked. When he is away from home he calls us every day and reminds the kids to help me out. When ever my health has taken a nose dive he has always picked up the slack and just got on with what ever needed to be done (in the last seven years I've also developed IBS, pain in my ankles (swelling), knees and hips and a time when the nerves in my hands and feet were affected by a temporary inability to absorb B12 - I've also had hypothyroidism for many many years - when I noticed that I had developed a redness across my nose and cheeks I looked up everything on the internet and terrified myself that I had developed Lupus but no hair loss and I think I've read that most people with Lupus will lose some hair

I have got to stop looking up symptoms on the net

). He is away at the moment in Africa on a business trip and the first thing he will do, when he comes back and the plane lands, is to call me and ask if I need him to pick up anything on the way home and/or (depending on the time) I want him to pick up something for lunch or dinner. He is a wonderful husband and I need to remember to tell him how much I appreciate him more often.