I live with a bunch of pigs!

[Sonoran Silkies]

Haven't read more than the first few posts.

Take all dropped clothes and lock them in the car trunk or somewhere else that they are out of sight. Keep doing this and eventually all their clothes will be gone. When they say "where is my ...," you can simply look them in the eye and say, "well, if you hung it back in your closet or put it in the laundry hamper, it should be there." If they respond that they do not know where they left it, or that they dropped it on the floor, you can reply with "Well, I guess it is gone then. You need to take care of your things." And when they ask for new clothes to replace those that are gone, tell them that they may be able to earn them by helping around the house.

Do not allow tv watching or video/computer game playing if they have dripped mud/dirt onto the floors until they have vacuumed. Make it easy for them. Muddy shoes left on a tray beside the door. Leave them on and lose privileges until the damage is repaired/cleaned. One of the privileges that can be revoked is attending sports practice, or at least being driven to/from it.

At their ages they should be taught how to do laundry, and it should be a regular part of their chores. Ditto with vacuuming, room straightening, etc. They should be learning to cook and clean up the kitchen. About the only things that they should not yet be taught is things that are dangerous for their ages or abilities.

As for DH, he needs to support you. He is doing his sons a disservice and is disrespectful to you by ignoring it when you try to speak to him about it. You may need to change the way you approach him, though, honey works better than vinegar; and tears sometimes work better than anger and vice versa, depending on the recipient.

 

[mamagardener]

I know how you feel. My biggest problem is the 3 year old. I call him my one man wrecking crew. I can sweep the floor in the kitchen, and within a half an hour he has a mess again. I am working on him, but a 3 year old is almost untrainable.

 

[flocksalot]

Quote:
Years ago when my older son was little I took in his cousins on his fathers side as foster children. They were two and three at the time and holey terrors. They slit my nieghbors tires in like 15 minutes. Social Services was useless and even suggested they would remove my son from my home if I didn't keep them in my home. Well I got creative. When they threw their food all over the floor I just ignored it. Then when they wanted to play I had them draw on the floor with soap crayons. When they ran out of clean floor they had to clean up the mess from earlier so they could keep drawing. Of course putting away and cleaning up became a part of play. It was awesome watching a then 3 and 4 year old wash the floor of all the crayon. Floor got washed and I didn't have to lift a finger. Soap crayons were the best invertion ever!

 

[leochickenmama]

I'm reading all these suggestions with great interest. They're a big help. I live with pigs, too. They're turning 12, 10 and 8 and more than old enough to know better.

I get so disgusted with the mess that I pick up after them. Going to have to STOP doing that and let them wallow in their filth until THEY get sick of it.

 

[SillyChicken]

No kids are ever old enough to "know better" if us as parents don't teach them how, and then make it happen.

They will continue to take advantage of mom, until mom makes them accountable.

Dads also need to be accountable and set a better example with their own behavior, and dad need to be mom's wingman!

Mom is NOT the built in maid - she is wife and mother - respect that or pay the consequences!!!

 

[maizy'smom]

Quote:
My boss takes everything left where it doesn't belong, and puts it in the bath tub. Nobody can use it to bathe in until they relocate their stuff to where it belongs. Just a thought.....

 

[dadthebaker]

From a guys point of view, putting in two jobs and coming home you arent gonna get much done out of me.

Have you tried something like this:

tell hubby that you dont want him to do a darn thing in the house. But you expect the boys to do most. Make it part of his role to be the enforcer of the boys. Ask him to show his strength and power in the house by leashing in and controlling his pups. Promise to never nag him about picking up after him, IF, he takes on the role of being the man of the house and getting the boys to do it.


NEVER, threaten or give ultimatums. They just dont work.

IF this fails, then a strike is in order, yes. But dont talk about it, dont mention it. Just do it. Wash your own, clean your own, cook your own. A good response would be " Being in a family means everyone pulls their own weight. If this simple act cannot be achieved, then we are no longer a family, but a bunch of individuals living together. So, we all shall live for ourselves."

I tell my boys that as a family we all have to act it.

just my 1 cent worth.

 

[cassie]

Quote:
You are doing your kids no favors by picking up after them. You might convene a formal family meeting and tell them what the new rules and expectations are. They won't know unless you tell them. And make it simple. Telling them to clean things up is not effective because they have no idea what you mean or how to go about it. What is obvious to you is nto obvious to them. They need simple step by step instructions and attainable goals.

Just leaving things until they cannot stand the mess won't work. You would be surprised what they can stand. Refusing to cook until the dishes are done works. Picking up the stuff they leave lying around and putting it in garbage bags that you either hide, donate, or throw away works. You might go onto www.flylady.net and check out the house fairy first for some ideas on positive reinforcement first before you do anything else.

 

[teach1rusl]

DH and I didn't marry until our 40s. I assumed that he (a 45 year old adult) was used to cleaning up after himself; evidently I assumed incorrectly. I will pick up his dirty clothes off the floor (always within 2-5 ft. of a hamper), but they get directly tossed under the bed (at one point I was tossing them in the shower stall). At least the house looks neat, since we have a bedskirt...lol. When he goes to look for something he wants to wear and discovers his pile, he usually starts picking his stuff up...at least for a few weeks

My son may get lazy with his chores at times, but he picks up after himself better than DH. Train those boys now, so they won't grow up to be slobs as men...

 

[mikensara]

if you find a solution please let me know

worked double shifts this weekend and the house is beyond trashed this am the kids wanted to be home alone on the weekends but they are not good about the dishes and food wrappers are everywhere they have however done the laundry