I need some advice

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by arabookworm, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. arabookworm

    arabookworm Songster

    Oct 27, 2008
    Pittsburgh, PA
    I saw my advisor today to decide what classes to take in the fall, and now I am faced with a bit of a dilemma. when I was little I wanted to be a doctor, but as I got older and got to high school, I started liking my science classes less and less and my civics, gov, and history classes more and more. so now I am most likely majoring in political science. but my parents can't seem to let go of their dream of me being a doctor. every time I mention that I don't want to continue with pre-med, they basically tell me that I am throwing my life away. I AM GOING INTO LAW, NOT FLIPPING BURGERS AT FRICKING MCDONALDS!!! really! I can just enroll in the classes I want to take and they can't do anything about it, but they will be very upset. I could continue with a double major, but that will probably negatively affect my gpa because that will translate into more classes and less time to study. and then when I try to discuss it they basically say that they don't want to talk about it, or they yell, depending on their mood I guess. what should I do? I feel like none of the options is very good, because I have a really good relationship with my parents and I don't want to mess that up, but I don't want to do a double major. [​IMG]
  2. LittleMamaBigPapa

    LittleMamaBigPapa Songster

    Apr 22, 2009
    Bellevue, Nebraska
    It is your life and you should do ONLY what you want to do. I am a mother of two daughters, 21 and 16. I admit I had my thoughts, dreams and curiosities of what they would do with their life, but all I truly care about is that they leave home and keep their faith in the Lord. What will you have in the end if you spend your life trying to please people (anyone, not just your parents)? You will have regrets. Search inside your heart and ask yourself what it is that will truly bring fullfillment to your life and lives of others that you will be helping.

    I dont know your age, and it probably doesn't matter, but I am 39, and I didn't even finish college until I was 31. No one in my family ever, ever gave me any grief for that. They supported me and my husband and daughters all along the way. I have no regrets.

    ENJOY life and love others.

    I wish the very best for you!


    PS - Edited to say....
    A "good" relationship is a supporting relationship....they are your parents, so tell them, that you want to make them proud, but the field needs to be your decision, because YOU, not them have to live with it the rest of YOUR life.... ♥
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2010
  3. maplesky7

    maplesky7 Flock Mistress

    Jun 14, 2008
    N. IL.
  4. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap

    Darlin, your future belongs to YOU, not your parents. I understand how you feel, but it is time for you to pursue YOUR dream, not the one your parents have for you. Quite often parents forget that once you start college, you are your own person and no longer theirs to raise up.

    Hug your parents, follow your own dream.
  5. KDbeads

    KDbeads Songster

    Aug 20, 2009
    East Central VA
    My parents wanted a chemical engineer with a deans list thing and some sort of honors and a professional license within 5 years.....

    NOT. Changed my major to ceramic engineering and didn't tell them, they didn't find out until the day I graduated, they really hated that, minored in psychology (deviant psychology was my most favorite class), and to this date I have NOT practiced my degree. I have however received 4 US patents in specialty packaging, one of which is now in 27 countries. My parents are still not happy or proud 10 years later but.... I'm paying the student loans, it's my life, not theirs, so [​IMG]

    And yes, there is a big difference in Ceramic and Chemical Engineering [​IMG]
  6. arabookworm

    arabookworm Songster

    Oct 27, 2008
    Pittsburgh, PA
    thanks for the support guys [​IMG]
    I honestly don't even see why they are upset. they already have my older brother whose major is biomedical engineering and who is planning to go to med school. why can't they go focus on him for a while? [​IMG]
  7. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Get a PhD in Law and you will still be a Dr. Do what you want, not what they do, they will accept it eventually and you won't be miserable. Take this from a person with degrees she'll never use and finally got the ones she will later in life. Do it now!
  8. Rusty Hills Farm

    Rusty Hills Farm Songster

    Apr 3, 2008
    Up at the barn
    I have a really good relationship with my parents and I don't want to mess that up

    Arabookworm, I am 63 and have raised 2 kids and now have 7 grandkids and my first GREAT-grandbaby. What I can tell you from this perspective is that it is very hard for many parents to accept that they have reached the point at which their kids are no longer children but are adults who must make their own way in the world. For lots of folks who have sacrificed and emotionally invested in their children, it is VERY hard to realize their job is winding down and the child is ready to take the reins of their own life. I suspect it is even harder when the child is a girl-child and especially so when she is the eldest.

    Part of the reason for college is to help you go off in your own direction. Be kind and understanding with your parents. They have a hard time separating the baby whose diapers they changed and whose tears they wiped from this adult person who stands before them now. But it IS time for you to begin to make your own choices and live with your own consequences of those choices. Be strong and LISTEN to that little voice inside you that tells you what to do now. Try to treat them gently and respectfully but LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

    Good luck to you always!

    Last edited: Mar 23, 2010
  9. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
    Rusty has said it well!

    Go and do what your heart and mind wants to, not what your parents want you to be. If a doctor title is what they want, you can further your education after you graduate from a 4 year college.
  10. speckledhen

    speckledhen Intentional Solitude

    You are an intelligent, well-spoken young woman, Marwa. And I love that you care about your relationship with your parents so much, too. I have a feeling that whatever you do, you will excel at it. I wanted my sons to be the best they could be, never settle for mediocre and to reach their potential, but I never wanted them to do what I wanted them to do with their careers, but to follow their own path, and to value their integrity. I think if you keep talking to them and showing them in specifics, as much as possible, what you want to do with your life, eventually, they'll see that you are making well-thought-out decisions. Best of luck to you.

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