I need some input on parenting and my wife.

[Spookwriter]

Sure it was...an earlier post by the OP.

"I have a BA in psychology and minor in business marketing/economics.
I also have over six years of experience in mental health working with
young children all the way to geriatrics."

....I take you never saw Peyton Place when your were young? Hard to
follow all the different storys, isn't it?


Spook....who really should keep a notebook.

 

[thaiturkey]

I guess that theory and practice must go together to be effective and neither may come into play when it's oneself who is under pressure.

 

[ScottnLydia]

Thank you Spook and Thaiturkey! I've done my research and I SO get it now!

 

[Spookwriter]

"Ah, grasshoper..." (now, where's that quote from?)

 

[ScottnLydia]

Now I'm being quizzed?


(Kung Fu)

 

[Janiecoke]

Just a guess that you both may be young. PP is a normal thing and needs to be addressed and as the "father" you should stand beside the "mother" and not judge. Just because you give birth, does not a mother make, right away. I would be stressed with judgement myself and I am old, with two 20+ daughters in college... Parenting is a two way street and your not even working yet.
5 weeks old....5 weeks with a child is a very short amount of time and still in the learning mode. Praise the grandmother! Good going Granny!
Talk not judgement may make the situation better, but TIME is the key. Shes not even gone to her 6 weeks checkup and you have no job. McDonalds is better than no job at all when you have a family to care for.
Prayers for all four of you.

 

[MeatKing]

I hope things are going better now for you's

no real advice here, but I remember when we brought are first baby home.. We faught about who was changing the diaper right.. He said, I left it too loose.. So then there was leakage.. I said it was way too tight, when he put it on.. And was gonna cut off her circulation.. We would both rejust, run to get dd first, because we thought the other was doing it wrong.. lol
Point of this story we both were doing our best and had different ideas about what was best...
Child number two, this never came up.. We were just so thank-ful to see the other one do it

Relax, enjoy your baby, they grow to fast.
All the best to you, it really is such a hard time in ones life
kudoos to you for trying your best

 

[silkiemomma9]

havent heard anything hope all is going well!

 

[llandry]

O.K., I'm sorry but when I read the original post, I got angry.  VERY angry!!!

Some people just don't appreciate what they have until they lose it, but then it's too late! 

Someone to love and support you, and a child, those are gifts from God!  Treasure them!  There is no guarantee that they will be there tomorrow.

15 years as a paramedic, 7 calls for SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) that I can NEVER forget!  7 couples that would GLADLY get up and hold their babies, but can't, ...ever.  Parents that are haunted with regrets.

Treasure them!  Be the man, and be strong enough to love your wife with all you've got, and then find some more.  Then love your child with that much again!  Give them everthing you've got.  Not money, not stuff, just you and your love.

I couldn't agree more with Spookwriter.  In any relationship, whether marriage or parental, be prepared to give EVERYTHING, and receive nothing.  That way, anything you recieve will be a delight, and no-one can disappoint you.

We are only on this earth a short, sharp while, and suddenly, you're not here anymore.  Don't screw it up.

well said
My husband and i are full time working parents of three and two of which are twins. It's hard but it can be done. We go to bed every night with full hearts for what nine years of fertility treatments and God have blessed us with.

When i would take them to the store when they were babies both in car seats and crying, people would say things to me in the check out line like, "boy you've got your hands full". I would look at them and say with a huge smile, "i know, isn't it great! They could be empty" wouldn't trade a minute of it.

 

[noitulover]

well said
My husband and i are full time working parents of three and two of which are twins. It's hard but it can be done. We go to bed every night with full hearts for what nine years of fertility treatments and God have blessed us with.

When i would take them to the store when they were babies both in car seats and crying, people would say things to me in the check out line like, "boy you've got your hands full". I would look at them and say with a huge smile, "i know, isn't it great! They could be empty" wouldn't trade a minute of it.

I totally agree with the above posts!

I didn't read ALL of the other posts, so maybe I'm behind, but I work full time and my daughter stays with me all day, and have since she was born. My DH works very hard at work and at home (farming). No offense, as I don't know the whole story, but if she stays home all day AND has help from her mother and you?! I'd expect her to do EVERY BIT of the child rearing, dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything else household related, etc. That's the point of being a stay at home mom!! Children are a complete blessing and privilege for that matter. So many people seem to forget that not everyone can have children. Also, by making a child, carrying the child, and ultimately birthing the child, SHE CHOSE to have that child. You can't just do the "fun" parts of parenting, like playing a fun game in the middle of the day when it is convenient. Sorry, this whole thing makes me angry and want to hold my kid closer.

Also, to a previous poster: being young doesn't have anything to do with it. I was 21 when I got married and 23 when I had my daughter. That's pretty young, as far as recent trends. I've appreciated and loved every second of it. Having a kid does make you a mother, although how you handle it makes you a good or bad one. I guess my point is, that by creating, carrying, and having a kid, this woman chose to be a mother (and the primary caretaker by staying at home), and needs to step up.

However, for the OP to have any footing, he needs to get a job and provide. If the wife is going to stay home and do the work associated with that, then her husband should be bringing in an income. If he's not working either, then he definitely should be helping with the kid (equally).