This thread puts me in mind of a song by Christine Lavin called "Biological time-bomb". Not exactely what you were asking for, but now it's stuck in my head! Perhaps posting it will clear it out of the way and/or serve as a muse to find something along the lines you're looking for.
Biological Time Bomb
from Beau Woes and Other Problems of Modern Life
Biological Time Bomb
Words and Music by Christine Lavin
Copyright 1987 Flip-A-Jig Music (ASCAP), Happy Valley Music (BMI)
tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick Listen Girls
Do you hear something ticking?
I do, I do, I do, I do. I do
It's inside me
It's inside you
A Biological Time Bomb
Oh you can barely hear it when you're twenty
But when you're thirty, it's plenty louder
Your mother warned you
But no you had to doubt her
"I've got plenty of time Mom!"
Oh
That ticking echoes in that empty womb
Oh
From the next apartment, did you hear that Boom?
Her Biological Time Bomb
Now every time you see a baby carriage (clap clap)
You curse the years you have avoided marriage (clap clap)
You are angry
You are confused
But wait!
I have figured out how to diffuse
The Biological Time Bomb
First you have a dozen of your eggs aspirated
Frozen in the freezer of a doctor's 'fridgerator
In ten or twenty or thirty years
Whenever you wish
You thaw them out to romance wigglies
In a Petrie Dish
Then plant the little goober in a girl of seventeen
Who's into natural living
And prevention magazine
No fuss, no muss, no stretch marks
Well not on you
Maternal instinct satisfied
The modern thing to do
Listen Girls
You can't ignore that ticking any longer
As you grow older
It will grow stronger
Biological Time Bomb
Biological Time Bomb
Biological tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
Does this make sense?
