I really had no idea

[agnes_day]

wow, that is a lot of time for such a small child..let him stay home and be a kid

you can do the same things at home..coloring, drawing, playing outside..i cant even imagine sending my little one off that long. trust me, doctors and therapists dont know everything. you both will feel better!

 

[wegotchickens]

For 3 days a wekk I say give it a shot and see how he does. Give it 4-6 weeks and then decide what you think.
Being around other kids might do exactly what the speech therapist thinks.

And yes, I cried too.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

If he needs time with other kids to enable his speech to better develop, there are probably other ways of doing so--5 days a week for 2-3 hours is MUCH better than 3 days for 7 hours. Playgroups or a developmental preschool in the public school system would provide much of what is needed. Have you checked for other preschools in your area? Even the for profit day cares might offer what is needed if you cannot find it elsewhere, and you would be able to adjust his hours to something more reasonable.

Is he not talking at all, or not talking understandably? Does he understand when you speak to him? Has his hearing been tested? Other than not speaking, how does he fit on the developmental charts?

Don't let yourself be bullied into doing something that your mothering instincts and heart say are wrong. I am getting the impression that you do not have a strong personality, but rather one that is more likely to be dominated. For your son's sake, you need to say, "Enough! I am the mother and this is what we will do. Thank you for your concern, but this is our decision."

You and your husband need to be on the same page with this, and he needs to support you with his and your parents, the doctors and speech therapists. I am not saying to not follow their advice, I am saying to take it into concideration and then form your own decisions about how to achieve their objective. What I understand you to say that they believe would be helpful is to have him around other children his age, so that they will influence him, and encourage him to talk. Meeting that goal does not require him to be in preschool for 7 hours a day. Indeed, I would expect that more, but shorter days would be more effective. At least 2-3 hours of each of those days will be spent napping--that gains him no speech benefit at all.

I also have to ask, do you actively encourage him to talk--requiring a verbal effort rather than simply responding to non-verbal communication before meeting his needs and even wants? It is very easy to do the later, and likely hard to to the former--especially when it is a need. But the vast majority of needs are not time critical to the extent that a delay in meeting the need would be inappropriate in this circumstance.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Couldn't agree more!

I suppose it's no different in some ways than having to take your child to daycare everyday if you have to work, but if you've chosen to be a stay at home mom keep him with you and do those things with him there.

My middle child really didn't start talking either until he hit three years old. He's 31 now and it certainly didn't slow him down any in life.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
That is the kind of information she needs to hear!

 

[WriterofWords]

I know everyone is well meaning and I am not suggesting in any way that anyone is wrong in what they are saying.
It is natural for some parents to react more strongly that others when a younger child is suddenly leaving home for the first time. Some parents will cry themselves silly and others will sniff a couple of time and that is that. It doesn't mean you are wrong in sending your child to school if you cry harder than someone else does.
We have an Early Childhood program here for 2 and up for just the reasons the OP states. The therapists do know what they are talking about and in MOST cases it will help get the child caught up in the speech and processing. By two most children are attempting to speak or speaking fairly well in some cases. It's easy to refuse to speak at home because the parents are used to it and deal with it in a way that the child doesn't have to put forth the effort. Mom and dad hate to see a child upset, a therapist and teacher are going to encourage that child to speak a lot more strongly that most parents will. I know that sounds cold and hard-hearted but it really isn't.
It also depends on whether or not a child is not speaking because they don't want to, they have an impediment that makes it hard to learn to speak, they have suffered a trauma that prevents them from wanting to speak, etc.
With any luck it won't take long in a group setting with other children who will speak to them expecting them speak in return, to make them want to interact verbally and they will put more effort into speaking.
At school pointing to what they want won't work, they will have to ask for it. And don't even go there, they aren't going to starve because food is being with held because they have to ask for it, I'm talking about toys, and books,, etc!
Give it a chance to work for your child, put their needs first, it's hard to do! We as mom's want to protect our young and our fangs grow at the thought of some mean person making our babies do something they don't want to do.
I was lucky, Steven spoke early and read long before Kinder,, and when he went to school he informed me that I couldn't go it would embarrass him if his mommy went to Kinder with him!
I have also had in 6th grade, moms who walk to their kids to class the first day of school and sob brokenly on the other side of the door as they leave their 12yr old baby with me.
It will be ok, trust your counselors, your therapists, and trust that your child will be ok and well cared for!

 

[ChickenToes]

My mother-in-law told me that my husband didn't really start talking until he was 4. Every child is different, and every child matures in different ways. Just because a little chart in some doctor's office says that he should be talking already doesn't mean squat.

I don't mean to be critical, because I know this is hard for you. In my opinion, a 2 year old doesn't belong in preschool. They should be at home playing, that's how they learn and discover the world at that age.

 

[6chickens in St. Charles]

I had a 2 year old who couldnt talk, too. He's now in 2nd grade and quite behind his classmates academically. But socially, he appears very comfortable and many kids seek him out for play.

I am a nurse, too, and I realize today that if I could do it over, I would have them in age-appropriate settings as tots instead of carted around by only me. I think of how many times I told my children, "Oh no! Stop that!" or "what are you doing? No, no no! don't do that!" because they explored my adult-appropriate environment. In the childcare setting, they have LOTS more to do for their ages-n-stages, including other kids, and to me, that seems healthier than what I actually provided. That's in rectrospect. I guess in hindsight, we can do anything better, and today I can see more clearly that my children would have benefitted a great deal from an early childhood program.

Now that I'm past my early childhood parenting, I can see that little kids really seek out AS MUCH STIMULI AS THEY CAN to develop. I wish someone had helped me get into a program like you have.

It might have resulted in less loneliness for me, as well, more opportunities to meet parents of other kids like mine.

I feel for you, I have been there. And today, I am trying (but failing) to make up for the money we lost by my years of not working to stay home with our kids, because (go figure) the grade-schoolers actually need their parents more, not less, than the tots did. Its very challenging to be there emotionally and socially for a grade schooler when we're trying to be out at work, earning money.

I feel for you, I really do. You're in a hard time.

 

[19Dawn76]

We dropped him off at 8:30 and had a meeting with the director and all his therapist. TJ didn't even wave good bye when I left.

We went and did some shopping and stopped back by and he was still fine. I went and had my teeth cleaned and stopped back by at the beginning of nap time. TJ was screaming his head off. I heard him when I walked thru the front door. My child never cries. He has been very easy going. I can seriously count on my fingers the times he has screamed like that and they all involve hospitals or doctors and needles. I went in and the problem was he did not want to lay down on the cot they had for him. After I calmed him down and made sure all was ok I put him back onthe cot and tried to get him to sleep. We finally decided a nap was not going to happpen and tried to make him understand that he had to lay quietly. TJ was making all kinds of sounds and at home when he verbalizes we encourage it so it was hard to make him understand "be quiet" and "shhhhhhh" I got up and stood in the hall for another 30 minutes and the teacher was very patient with him. I left cause it was the end of naptime and his speech therapist was coming to get him.

My husband is stopping in town and buying a toddler bed and we re going to change out his crib tonight and tomorrow nap time will be done just like it is in school. I think this is going to be the most challengeing part and I think I will give it a week and see how it goes and I will be there (at school) before nap time and watch in the hall to see if I can spot anything wrong. I guess it's all about establishing a routine and sticking to it.

I've cried so much today my head is splitting. TJ looked so happy this morning I was kind of at peace and then nap time came so now I am back on the fence.

Thanks for al lthe support guys.

 

[agnes_day]

i would totally wait on changing his bed...too much change can make a kid even more cranky and upset.
i would just see about sending him for a smaller amount of time, at the very least.