I was just assaulted

[allen wranch]

Sonia,
I amy very sorry you were assaulted, and I am sure all of it goes over and over in your mind.

Everyone else,
It does not help to be judgemental regarding the situation. Please play nice...

 

[summerwindsfarm]

Quote:
It doesnt matter *why* he was angry. There is no excuse for violence. And *learn from her mistakes??* surely you are kidding!

I spent 15 years in an abusive marriage because i didnt want my sons to grow up without a father. Stupid ..stupid..stupid of me...but then hindsight is always crystal clear.

Abusers dont need to be given a reason..they will *always* find one.

Listen to what the others are telling you and get out NOW. I left with nothing but the clothes on my back and my sons and i still have NO regrets at having to start over..except that i didnt do it a whole lot sooner..for both my sake and my sons sake.

 

[Farmer Kitty]

Quote:
You went out dancing with your "best friend forever's darling husband" (with her knowledge)" ... but not your DH's knowledge?
It's too bad that your husband didn't have the good sense to just leave you and file for divorce and custody of the children; that's what I would have done.

I agree with Joe. No one deserves to be beat up, but I cannot believe how many of you are lining up to insulate the asault victim from the consequences of her choices. I KNOW... she should never have been hit. I know, America, land of the free and she should be able to dance any time with anyone she chooses. She also said "this has happened before" and and if I were she and I wanted to go dancing with someone other than "the one who pays the bills and sometimes beats me up" then I'd legally disentagle myself from the situation and wait until societal adjustments are established before I went dancing with someone else, BFF's DH, or anyone else.

WHOA!!! I think before any judging goes on more facts are needed. She stated that she has a restraining order and he walked through it (if I read that correct). They may not be living together. Then when you have the facts let's not reassult her with words.

 

[farmgirlie1031]

Quote:
I agree. I'm sorry. And you never get over it. I was assaulted in my own dorm room by someone I worked with and thought was a friend so when they knocked on my door I opened it only to have it shut and locked in less than a second. And restraining orders don't work. The jerk was a student so they had to let him on campus and he was always coming up to me asking for a ride back home, notes, ect. even when he was ordered to stay away. My opinion on this was he should have been kicked out of the university and went to jail or even deported back to his country but all he got was a slap on the wrist.

 

[Sonia]

Quote:
You went out dancing with your "best friend forever's darling husband" (with her knowledge)" ... but not your DH's knowledge?
It's too bad that your husband didn't have the good sense to just leave you and file for divorce and custody of the children; that's what I would have done.

Ummm he knew about it. He was here with the kids and my best friend when I left.

 

[Sonia]

Quote:
I went out with my friend's husband because he recently had surgery on his foot. He is just now able to dance again and his wife (my best friend) is in poor health. My best friend is 57 and her husband is 61. I'm 28. My best friend AND my DH agreed to stay here with the kids while we went out for a while.

 

[Sonia]

Would a moderator please close this thread?

To those of you that showed concern I thank you. I was very shaken up last night when I posted. My children and I are all safe now. I have contacted our church for therapy for the children. Apparently two of them witnessed this.

To those of you that want to judge me for going out dancing with someone other than DH....He had full knowledge of where I was going and who I was going with. I said that we would be home early since it was a Sunday and he encouraged me to just have fun. There is nothing romantic between the gentleman I went dancing with and myself. He is 33 years older than I and happily married.

 

[Lunachick]

Take care of yourself Sonia. Please listen to all of the good advice here. I hope you recover well.

 

[Davaroo]

Im sorry, but this is sounding pretty complex.

"He was here with my BF..." and "I was out with my BFF DH" and "...this has happened before." and "restraining orders have flown the coop..." and so on and so on... The only thing not mentioned was alcohol or drugs.

Im not advocating violence, nor blaming the victim and I dont want anyone to be hurt, Sonia. This can get worse, I fear.

But Im hearing alot of personal choices gone awry here. You've heard, "You are what you eat." Well there;s a little known corrolary that goes "We are what we choose to do."
I want you safe and comfortable in your life. It is the worst sort of life to always be looking over your shoulder. It is just as bad for your child.

Please get some distance between you and he, stay away from one another and seek some competent relationship counseling and learn what it is both you and he have chosen to bring you to where you are. These things don't happen out of the blue and it always takes two to tango.