I'm hosting christmas dinner. It will be done at noon. rant.

[Wifezilla]

why don't ya do the brunch w. pancakes or french toast??!!!! that is a lovely idea....

Yeah...just tell me and twister your address. We promise to bring something and not steal all the leftovers

You are young. Nip this nonsense in the bud NOW! Seriously...it will make your life going forward so much easier. I had to do this with dad's wife #3 (now an ex). She wanted us to take our 2 kids and drive 4 hours round trip to their house and THEN go out to a restaurant. Their house was not kid friendly and my youngest is mentally disabled so him in a busy restaurant is a BAD IDEA. After doing this twice I said no more. WHen the next holiday rolled around I simply said...

"We are serving dinner at our house on _______ at _______ and we would really like you to stop by."

When the ex-step-monster started asking about going out, etc... I was firm and calm and said no, it is just too expensive and too difficult for us, but if they wanted to go out instead of coming by, I would totally understand. Well guess who showed up for dinner at our house every holiday? LOL​

 

[horsejody]

I have never understood why people host dinners that they don't want to serve and why they think that relatives should get to plan it for them. People can only use you as a doormat if you lay down and let them. Just say, "Dinner is on this day at this time. I hope you can make it." If they don't like it, that's their problem. They will get over it. If they host the dinner, thay can have it any way they want it. As for the leftovers, just tell them that you need them. It may seem awkward at first, but it will be OK. Ignore any gift wish lists. Buy them something modest and affordable. They will get over it. The more you accomodate them the more they will abuse the relationship. It's the old "give them and inch and they'll take a mile" thing.

 

[Whispering Winds]

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Me too . . . I feel a fever comin' on!!!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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I grew up in a family that had Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinners where everyone brought something substantial. The least substantial (a relish tray and dinner rolls) was usually from my aunt, but the dinner was held at her house, so that actually balanced out pretty nicely. The only thing that changed much was who would be there and who would not, which was either because it was their turn with the spouse's side of the family or my aunt's family that lived out of the country and were only there every couple of years, and not always during a holiday. The other side was the same except that there was less evenly divided participation. As a child I didn't notice it, looking back I can see how one aunt took advantage and rarely brought much and another aunt always wanted the dinner a bit later; not at noon, at 1 instead, as her family attended a neighborhood Christmas open house every year. Made my mama sad and angry that her sister would consider spending Christmas with friends as important as spending it with family; it put my grandmother in the middle of things and that is the part that bothered me. She wanted all her children to be happy; why was one hour such a big deal; it clearly was not a problem for her?

I want my holiday meals later in the day, but not as late as supper. If I am preparing turkey, I don't want to have to get up early to put it in the oven. I want a leisurely morning where I can drink coffee and snack on muffins or coffeecake and then begin fixing the meal in ernest.

 

[hunterjumper999]

my gf doesnt deal with the arranging of dinners ect because she works 56 hours a week right now. I don't work, i'm in school online but on a holiday break so I take over all the household stuff. . . animals, cleaning, ect. well most of it. think of a 1950's sitcom relationship. I like it that way.. i guess im weird.

we typically lay down the law with them. I'm just trying to keep the holiday civil.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

The way to keep it civil is to do it your way and say "you're invited" to the family. Invite me and I'll ask "when, and what can I bring". Any suggested food items from them should be items they offer to bring. There's no way you'll make everyone happy because almost inevitably someone will have a stick up their butt. Set your time, set your menu, and if they don't like it... tough.... or can't make it..... that's unfortunate. Christmas isn't about what's on the menu. I'd eat Popsicle's if it meant I could spend it with family.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

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Your GF is lucky to have you! Not all spouses take up the slack when they can. Kudos to you for trying to make it work. Put your foot down now and hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here on out in many years to come.