I'm hosting christmas dinner for my mother ( flying in from out of state) my fiance who lives with me, her parents and her little brother ( also living with us right now) . Her mom is a nurse and works MOST holidays. . . so she will be working xmas eve but not xmas day. Being that my family is a little more traditional than hers I was trying to mirror the christmases that I've had as a child. We're having a dinner on xmas eve ,but obviously since her mom is working she will not attend. Her mom is very protective of her dad and i guess is not comfortable with him coming to the dinner xmas eve and staying over here due to driving times ect ( no liscense) I already told her that he is welcome to stay on the couch but because my mom is divorced ( therefore ready to jump on my "lovely" father in law? i do not understand her logic!) she is not comfortable with him doing that. So I said i'm sorry that i am not going to cook all morning , drive 3 hours to pick up my mom at the airport, come home, cook the rest of dinner and hop in the car to pick him up 45 minutes away. he's fine with it, a little upset with his wife because it's not OUR fault but he gets it. She's enraged that we can't do this "little thing" for them. it's an hour and a half of driving ontop of cooking the meal, cleaning the house AND driving 6 hours round trip to get my mom. she doesnt get that taking my fiance away to do the shuttlling is not really an option either since thats the ONLY day she gets off between thanksgiving and now... i mean, she had thanksgiving too but nothing else. . . so it will be nice to spend time with her on the eve as well. Christmas day. I've been emailing and texting the mother in law for about three weeks now. saying we're pretty broke and we'd like to host a BRUNCH instead of a dinner. this way I can substitute pancakes or french toast for the 2nd meat that we typically serve( 1/2 of which she loads up into tupperware and takes home. thanksgiving she took over 1/2 the leftovers "for work" that week and we had literally 2 sandwiches left to enjoy). We're two young 20 somethings, first home, i'm still in college- not working MUCH ( i babysit when I can find the work) i'd say our whole total income per year is less than 25,000 right now. if my parents were not helping us a little bit here and there we'd be either without food or without housepayments once and a while, due to my fiance JUST finding a job after a 9 month layoff. and she's an ICU nurse making 80-100k a year. but we host EVERY holiday. and they bring nothing. So . I figured i'd change the holdiay menu a bit to accomodate our lack of cash flow. NOPE. she apparently got VERY upset. talked to df. and FIL and was horribly offended I was doing a traditional xmas eve dinner with my mom , EXCLUDING FIL and cutting back THEIR traditional christmas dinner AND changing the time. She wants to go home and sleep and come over at SIX PM to eat? ON A HOLIDAY? we're supposed to wait to open gifts too . I'm sorry I just do not want to have to cook ALL day on christmas too and spend my entire paycheck for the next three weeks on FOOD THAT SHE'LL JUST TAKE HOME HERSELF! then they had the nerve to say that my FIL helped with the yard work yesterday ( about 3 hours of mowing, trash pickup, moving lumber to a better spot ect) WE need to pay his probation - due the first wed of January ... and it's 840.00 . I'M SORRY BUT NO! YOU HELPED US. I COULD HAVE HIRED A LANDSCAPER FOR WAY LESS THAN THAT A YEAR! I would have more sympathy but they spend 50 %(ok exageration- but i'd say at least 35%) of their money on scratchoffs and smokeable substances ( not crack..tho there are pleanty of those around here... they opt for the lesser of the evils) and as for gifts I know that my fiance and I got (together) 2 free from work movie tickets and a 25.00 target gift card. but we were expected to buy them 2 items from a list of stuff, none of which was less than 50.00 a piece. we're broke too so i get that but i mean make it fair! I'm thinking about emailling them and saying Christmas dinner is from 12-2 on friday. We're serving ham, collards, rolls, broccoli casserole, and Pecan pie . / rant. im so sorry BYC. I had to get that out. eta fiance doesnt care either way. she actually said they used to give her xmas money and by january 1st need to borrow it back ( and never repay it) .