I'm hosting christmas dinner. It will be done at noon. rant.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by hunterjumper999, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. hunterjumper999

    hunterjumper999 Songster

    Dec 26, 2008
    Box Springs
    I'm hosting christmas dinner for my mother ( flying in from out of state) my fiance who lives with me, her parents and her little brother ( also living with us right now) . Her mom is a nurse and works MOST holidays. . . so she will be working xmas eve but not xmas day. Being that my family is a little more traditional than hers I was trying to mirror the christmases that I've had as a child. We're having a dinner on xmas eve ,but obviously since her mom is working she will not attend. Her mom is very protective of her dad and i guess is not comfortable with him coming to the dinner xmas eve and staying over here due to driving times ect ( no liscense) I already told her that he is welcome to stay on the couch but because my mom is divorced ( therefore ready to jump on my "lovely" father in law? i do not understand her logic!) she is not comfortable with him doing that. So I said i'm sorry that i am not going to cook all morning , drive 3 hours to pick up my mom at the airport, come home, cook the rest of dinner and hop in the car to pick him up 45 minutes away. he's fine with it, a little upset with his wife because it's not OUR fault but he gets it. She's enraged that we can't do this "little thing" for them. it's an hour and a half of driving ontop of cooking the meal, cleaning the house AND driving 6 hours round trip to get my mom. she doesnt get that taking my fiance away to do the shuttlling is not really an option either since thats the ONLY day she gets off between thanksgiving and now... i mean, she had thanksgiving too but nothing else. . . so it will be nice to spend time with her on the eve as well.

    Christmas day.

    I've been emailing and texting the mother in law for about three weeks now.[​IMG] saying we're pretty broke and we'd like to host a BRUNCH instead of a dinner. this way I can substitute pancakes or french toast for the 2nd meat that we typically serve( 1/2 of which she loads up into tupperware and takes home. thanksgiving she took over 1/2 the leftovers "for work" that week and we had literally 2 sandwiches left to enjoy). We're two young 20 somethings, first home, i'm still in college- not working MUCH ( i babysit when I can find the work) i'd say our whole total income per year is less than 25,000 right now. if my parents were not helping us a little bit here and there we'd be either without food or without housepayments once and a while, due to my fiance JUST finding a job after a 9 month layoff. and she's an ICU nurse making 80-100k a year. but we host EVERY holiday. and they bring nothing. So . I figured i'd change the holdiay menu a bit to accomodate our lack of cash flow. NOPE. she apparently got VERY upset. talked to df. and FIL and was horribly offended I was doing a traditional xmas eve dinner with my mom , EXCLUDING FIL and cutting back THEIR traditional christmas dinner AND changing the time. She wants to go home and sleep and come over at SIX PM to eat? ON A HOLIDAY? we're supposed to wait to open gifts too .

    I'm sorry I just do not want to have to cook ALL day on christmas too [​IMG] and spend my entire paycheck for the next three weeks on FOOD THAT SHE'LL JUST TAKE HOME HERSELF!

    then they had the nerve to say that my FIL helped with the yard work yesterday ( about 3 hours of mowing, trash pickup, moving lumber to a better spot ect) WE need to pay his probation - due the first wed of January ... and it's 840.00 . I'M SORRY BUT NO! YOU HELPED US. I COULD HAVE HIRED A LANDSCAPER FOR WAY LESS THAN THAT A YEAR!

    I would have more sympathy but they spend 50 %(ok exageration- but i'd say at least 35%) of their money on scratchoffs and smokeable substances ( not crack..tho there are pleanty of those around here... they opt for the lesser of the evils) and as for gifts I know that my fiance and I got (together) 2 free from work movie tickets and a 25.00 target gift card. but we were expected to buy them 2 items from a list of stuff, none of which was less than 50.00 a piece. we're broke too so i get that but i mean make it fair!

    I'm thinking about emailling them and saying Christmas dinner is from 12-2 on friday. We're serving ham, collards, rolls, broccoli casserole, and Pecan pie .

    / rant.

    im so sorry BYC. I had to get that out.

    eta fiance doesnt care either way. she actually said they used to give her xmas money and by january 1st need to borrow it back ( and never repay it) .

  2. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I'd e-mail them and say..we're sick. Christmas is off..sorry.. [​IMG]
  3. Cloverleaf Farm

    Cloverleaf Farm Bearded Birds are Best

    Sep 16, 2008
    Levan, UT
    Wow- I would be ranting too if I were you! I think you need to do exactly what you said. Send the email, make it a formal invitation. If she chooses not to accept your invitation, that is HER problem, not yours. Don't let her ruin Christmas for everyone! She sounds like a total mooch, and let me tell you as someone with many a mooch in their own family, mooches will drain you of everything, mentally, physically, financially. You have to put a stop to her now, or just imagine what it will be like when you have children! Good luck!! [​IMG]
  4. HorseFeatherz NV

    HorseFeatherz NV Eggink Chickens



    family [​IMG] [​IMG]
  5. chickenzoo

    chickenzoo Emu Hugger

    I'd do what you want to do.... and if they come, great, if they don't, even better.......................... You can not please everyone, so just please the people who mean the most to you.
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2009
  6. twister

    twister Songster

    Sep 12, 2009
    why don't ya do the brunch w. pancakes or french toast??!!!! that is a lovely idea....

    (one that I may very well take!!!)

    i feel your pain....I am hosting Christmas as well. Mom FREAKED and started crying when I told her that I would just like to order in a large sandwich tray for everyone.... freakkkeed out and cried! omg.
    I think the older generation is just used to having it done a certain way and can not open their minds to something a little more convenient and easy and more economical too for heaven's sake!

    isn't really all about getting together and enjoying the day???
  7. purr

    purr Songster

    Apr 30, 2008
    east freetown, ma
    I hear there's a real bad outbreak of the flu in your town , hint hint nudge nudge
    Or do what I would do and tell them since nothings good enough stay your A$$ home!

  8. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    Quote:[​IMG] thats what i'd say... [​IMG]
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2009
  9. Quote:DITTO, and fax it, and leave a voicemail with some good phleghmy coughing.

    Say it may be hepatitus, just so they don't decide to come 'help'.

    Best of luck with THAT. We're in a similar pinch... turns out everyone on my side is coming to my house Christmas Eve... this was a wee bit of a stretch from the 'swing by and grab your gifts on the way out/back from Arkansas" that I'd originally mentioned.

    My MIL called to inform me that SIL has declared that Turkey is for Thanksgiving not Christmas, and Ham is for New Years not Christmas so MIL is required to come up with fancy (like $8/lb) cold cuts and soups for the whole clan instead. We're to send soup and SIL is making soup... whatta ya know, she's making the two soups (Beef/Veg & Broc/Cheese) that I've already got made and ready and refuses to make any other. *sigh* This is precisely why we didn't bother doing DH's side for Turkey Day... too flipping stressful. My family is insane, don't get me wrong, but you could give us a spam sandwich and a bag of cheetos and we'd be happy.

    So, again, best of luck with your mess... just remember you aren't the only one praying you don't strangle anyone before New Years.
  10. toletiquesbysam

    toletiquesbysam Songster

    Sep 19, 2008
    You are the Host, you do what works best for YOU!! Send her a email and just simply state that the Christmas meal will be at whatever time you choose and do not discuss the menu with her, tell her you hope they can make it! And that's it!
    Make enough food for the meal, don't go overboard with the food then they will not have an options to take home alot of excess food!
    You are doing enough as it is, and if they don't like it TOUGH!! [​IMG]

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