I'm just feeling blue...

[chickensducks&agoose]

As someone who has worked in a nursing home (LNA), I want to remind you that when people are suffering from dementia, their perceptions, memories and feelings about things/people change. It is very, VERY likely, that he was happy for all 60 years of his marriage, but his damaged brain combined with fear and discomfort are convincing him that he wants a divorce. If he was sick, and was throwing up, would it mean that he hated every meal he'd ever had? No. it just means that he's sick. Please be patient, understanding, but not encouraging of his delusions. He may have just been writing at a bad moment. It's possible that he was very upset, and the staff asked him to write down his feelings... My grandmother is 90, and is in a nursing home. She gets agitated sometimes (she;s been there 3 years) and is convinced she's lost, and that everyone will be angry if she's not where she's supposed to be. Mostly, she's sharp and knows what's going on, but sometimes it's just not there... good luck... have that drink if you need it, and have faith in the home and the staff, and the fact that your grandparents had so many good years together!

 

[patnjess]

amen and such truth. Ihad a grandmother with alzheimers, and it was tough, she had similiar thoughts, and even got violent. If its any peace my husband works in an ALF, and they are treated very well, ward of the state or not. Actually the state pays regularly so they are usually all over it.

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[Whispering Winds]

My dear sweet mother wouldn't say poop if her mouth was full of it, as the old saying goes, but she did say that getting old was hell. She died before dementia could get her, her mind was wonderful, but her body (pancreatic cancer) went first. I almost cried reading your post. My BIL is 84 and the doctors did three major surgeries to fix him physically, but his mind isn't good and my poor sister who is 82 has a wonderful mind and still works like she is 50 and now she is having to deal with this on a daily basis. It's such a horrific decision to put a loved one in the nursing home. My son is an LPN and he just told me the saddest story last week, where the old patient passed and his daughter was so relieved because she had recurring breast cancer, maybe 6 months to live, and she told DS that she was so scared she would go first and no one would be left to take care of her dad. What a way to finish out a life. Makes me so sad.

 

[SarahFair]

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Very Sweet!


I had a great grandmother I use to visit in the NH. I never really liked going there. I was always someones little girl and would call me by another name

To my GG my sister and I were Mark and Besty (My father and his sister) even though my aunt and dad would be standing right there..
Its weird how the mind goes... tired.

I think my mom started suffering from it before her death. Years of alcohol and she just turned.. different ..over the last few years.


People with Dementia break my heart.

 

[geepy]

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He will like that. When my grandpa was in that way he always wanted to here about the animals I had and how they were doing. The kids came second. Don't take that as a bad thing but for some reason the animals always came first.