I'm just feeling blue...

[peepacheep]

So, so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard when a loved one's health, perceptions and memories decline. It is an emotional roller coaster for families trying to do what is best. I have volunteered at a skilled care nursing home for 7 years, visiting there with my therapy dogs and rabbits. I have seen how hard it can be for people coming into the facility. It can be a tough transition and yet it is the best solution for their safety and well being, and also family members as well. Take good care of yourself!

 

[wegotchickens]

I kind of understand, Sweetie. My F-I-L is in EXACTLY the same position! So we not only get calls & letters from him venting on a lot of the same topics, but also hear from DH's sister who is local and has to get these calls daily.

Pops lost his wife many years ago. He was taken advantage of by deadbeat grandkids until he was on the verge of bankruptcy and in debt to the sky. He doesn't remember all that. He just knows he's in 'jail' and is not happy. We did our best to make it homey. Got a new headboard and things from his old house to make it homey. But in his mind it's still jail and there's nothing we can do about it. He's been there since July 2009.

to you. Cry yourself out and remember that he doesn't understand what put him there. It's part of his illness. And the depression is part of his perception based on the illness.

 

[MagsC]

 

[grammy of David]

It will get better for your Grandfather and thus for you, I promise! I had a brother 26 years older than myself and he had to go into the long-term care for physical health reasons, but his mind was very sharp. When their minds are still pretty clear,it is really hard on them.But my brother who was never a easy man to be around, did adjust...it just took time and a lot of love! My brother at first had to wear an ankle alarm, for he would just leave

All things do get better in time. He was in the home for 7 years and before his death , he did think of it as home and told everyone how nice it was. A lot of patience is required, sort of like with a 2 year old. Before he died he enjoyed the different activities and even went to the church services which was a big deal for he had NEVER done that. I always felt God gave my brother those last years here on earth to get right with his soul and God for my brother was not ready for death before that. And my brother was also a ward of the state, but by law he was given just the same care as a private pay, so put that fear to rest. If you live close by visit often for short periods which is better than long visits with a lot of time in between . Take him out for pizza or call for one. Ask him all the questions about the past while you still have the chance.Take nothing he says personally nor punish him by not visiting until his attitude is better. He is not a child ,but an adult who has lost his independence! I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER...Hugs and prayers!

 

[redhen]

 

[danielle82]

My Cousin works at a nursing home. I know she gets very attached to her "people", and that it is very hard watching someone deteriorate, mentally and physically. You should call your grandma, I'm sure she needs support too. Send your grandpa things to keep him distracted, and give him some thing to look forward to.

 

[arabianequine]

 

[eenie114]

 

[Camelot Farms]

Thanks everyone.

I spent today putting together a care package for Gramps. A nice newsy letter, some pics of the newest animals on the farm, my garden, the new orchard and of course- the kids.

I think he will like it!

 

[mom'sfolly]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The personality changes with senile demensia are so hard on the family. Somewhere, Gramps is still there, but sometimes the fear and paranoia are going to win out. I hope things improve soon.

You deserve the chance to feel the pain. These changes are hard, and seeing Gramps unhappy has to make you unhappy.