In-laws that turn against you and your kids, ( their grandkids)

[Judy]

Quote:
I have had no contact with most of my relatives for my entire adult life. I don't even know how many cousins I have, much less how many kids they have. We are under no obligation to maintain contact with "poisonous" relatives; our own family comes first. People like your MIL are sad and miserable; we can feel sorry for them but should not force our kids to put up with them.

 

[thechickenchick]

My fist husbands parents hated me. No good reason, they just didn't think I was good enough. See his Dad was a foreman where my Dad worked as a laborer. So that extra 15 thousand dollars a year his Dad earned made him a better person I guess!

I was 17 at the time and figured it would get better. No! They never came to visit and made sure to make things uncomfortable when we would visit them. We had a son an instead of being happy they would not even mention it to anyone, like it was a secret. I was 25 and we had been married almost 5 years, so it wasn't unplanned or any thing!

Fast forward 5 years, we are getting a divorce. All of a sudden they want him to go for full custody because I am a bad Mom and they never get to see him. They didn't even try! They offer to pay for the divorce. Then they moved back to the state to be closer to everyone! Crazy!

I am very happily married now and my MIL is my best friend. She treats my son ( he was 11 when they met) just like the rest of her natural Grand kids. She spends more time with him as we live in the same town. Also he is older(14 now) than the others and she can play cards and shop with him. My parents are gone so she is basically his only Grandma and he loves her.

I know how you all with evil in-laws feel. Mine made me feel terrible about everything. I always thought it was my fault, but it wasn't. I wish now I would not have wasted the time worrying about it.

Now I just pray I can be a good MIL like mine some day!!

 

[CoyoteMagic]

My mom always told me that if I lived by 2 "Rules" I would grow up just fine and not to worry about what others say and do.

1. Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.

2. Thumper from Bambi movie--If you can say nothing nice don't say nothing at all.


I really gotta remember Thumper!!!

 

[SophieLain127]

My MIL blames me for taking away her free ride (DH) before we officially became a serious item he paid all the bills and gave her spending money out of his own paycheck. When I moved in I insisted we move out. She pretended to have a mental breakdown and insisted she had to be taken to the psych ward. So we took her then told her when she called later that afternoon that we couldn't pick her up. She showed up two days later and all our stuff was packed. If she would have stayed there the whole 5 days we would have been gone. Our daughter is 2 1/2 and she has seen her maybe 10 or 12 times. She always tells DH how proud she is but then trash talks him to other members of his family. When he was little she put him and his sister against each other so they both had horrible childhoods. We've not told her we are RVing around the country we are going to let her know when we offer for her to buy the house.

Sometimes parents are weird. Don't even get me started on my own.

 

[sparkles2307]

My ex-MIL pointed a gun at me and told me to leave once. She also refused to call DS#1 by his name "Lars" because "its a flippin Nazi name and I aint havin no Nazi grandson!" She was the Wicked Witch of the West on The Rag!!!

 

[Autumn T]

my MIL turned against me when I had a u/s that showed our first child was a girl. SHE was 'supposed to have girls'. Then she decided that since I had the first girls in 5 generations in dh's family that the girls could not be his after all "T family men produce boys'

we have since had a boy and she favors him but not nearly like she favors my nephews

we have been married 12 yrs this yr and every yr MIL makes it more clear that my girls and I are NOT family. it tears my girls up that MIL doesn't care for them. they blame themselves and wish they were boys so she would like them. We nipped that in the bud

so thankful she is 2000 miles away

 

[sparkles2307]

My first relationship goal was to not be a wicked stepmom, my 2nd is to be a nice MIL...altho having only boys and looking forward to DILs I imagine that at times I will have to bite my tongue good and hard!

 

[Im4dabirds]

The one thing you can learn from bad in-laws is how not to be one yourself.
My MIL despised me and my daughter (from a former marriage) and doted on her grandsons (our sons) to the point that I flat out told her if she couldn't treat them the same she wouldn't see ANY of them. Her behavior did change somewhat, but you could always see the difference. Even her own brother and SIL told her she was doing wrong. Before she died, when I was taking care of her while her own daughter wouldn't, she apologized to me for treating us so badly. I just told her I wasn't the one who needed to hear her apology, my daughter and sons did. After all, I was an adult and could handle it, they were the ones that would remember how she acted. Wouldn't make for very loving memories for any of them. As far as I know, she never did make that apology.

I do remember her though when I get frustrated with my DIL (which is often), and try very hard not to be the hateful MIL.

 

[pokey]

my ex husbands mother did not approve of me... no love lost there for me either. sometimes you just have to accept people for what they really are.
buttholes!!! no matter how much he lied to me or cheated on me she always blamed me!!??

go figure that one......anyway, live your LIFE and be happy and forget about other peoples hangups, life is too short. ps you can always pick out her nursing home

and i only wanted to pick out the music at ex mil funernal...DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.....

 

[vckums]

My MIL has never liked or accepted me. Apparently I wasn't good enough for her only son. We've been together 13 years now. I tried to be nice and put up with the crud for 6 years. She'd made a comment about my middle son who was about 4 at the time. He'd just been diagnosed with Autism and said it was our fault. She said this infront of her son, not me, and she's lucky I wasn't there. He told me this as we were driving home. I swear she would've gotten smacked had she said it infront of me. When we got home I wrote her a letter and told her that I am tired of her and her comments. Since she's now brought comments to my children she's not going to see them. Hubby got a call a couple days later with her fuming on the phone and FIL saying I needed to appologize to THEM. Hubby told them to not hold their breath as he doesn't see that happening.

It's their loss...they lose out on a bond with their grandkids.