I got my phone call! I got my phone call! Poor Impress, I called her from my driveway and made her talk to me all the way to the post office. Then called her back as soon as I got back in the van, because I had this:
The third box was in perfect condition. My mailman walked out the back door of the post office saying, "These look pretty rough, but I swear they were like this when I got them." Yeah, I know he'd be careful with my mail. Somebody just ... wasn't.
The inner boxes on these two boxes - one of them was perfect, and the other one was a little dented up. The eggs inside the inner boxes? So far, perfect. No cracks. I've washed and weighed, and next will go hide in the closet and candle - but so far, without having looked at innards yet, they look perfect. Despite the post office's handling of them.
To note: these had an inner priority cube box with bubble wrapped eggs, and the inner box was cushioned top and bottom with large-bubble wrap, and on the sides with empty styrofoam egg cartons. The egg cartons took the crushing of the box perfectly, without being so solid that they passed the force on to the inner boxes, as best I can tell. All in all, brilliant packing! Thank you, bargain!