Why are you blaming the dog...its your fault the dogs are doing what they are doing...
Maybe you need to get better control of your BF...
Maybe you need to get better control of your BF...
Irritated...
- Thread starter little_grey_bantam
- Start date
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Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????
Ed
neither. I am just saying that if you love someone, you love all that comes with them. It's kind of unfair to say, Oh I love you but I want you to give up what you love.
Most people come with a desire to get a good night's rest without being uncomfortable and stressed...I would think that this is regular, normal human desire, a normal want, an normal *need*.
By your thinking, it is fair that LGB give's up her rest and sleep but unfair that boyfriend give up his dog bed partners. To me, the boyfriend is clearly putting the dogs on a pedestal above LGB. She needs to knock that pedestal down and boyfriend needs to check priorities. Personally, I think that he may be the ownser/renter of the house and that he is trying to exert some type of controlling power with the dogs....he basically sounds like a spoiled brat to me.
Ed
Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????
Ed
neither. I am just saying that if you love someone, you love all that comes with them. It's kind of unfair to say, Oh I love you but I want you to give up what you love.
Most people come with a desire to get a good night's rest without being uncomfortable and stressed...I would think that this is regular, normal human desire, a normal want, an normal *need*.
By your thinking, it is fair that LGB give's up her rest and sleep but unfair that boyfriend give up his dog bed partners. To me, the boyfriend is clearly putting the dogs on a pedestal above LGB. She needs to knock that pedestal down and boyfriend needs to check priorities. Personally, I think that he may be the ownser/renter of the house and that he is trying to exert some type of controlling power with the dogs....he basically sounds like a spoiled brat to me.
Ed
Quote:
Using the same logic, if you love your BF, wouldn't you want to give up sleeping with your dogs for him? It sounds like you expect him to accept everything about you without you having to make the same concessions for him. The best relationships are where each partner wants what is best for the other, not what is best for him/herself.
So why doesn't she want what's best for him? I am just saying it works both ways. I would not give up my dogs for anyone. Anyone who can't accept that should not get involved with me. She is trying to take away what he loves, and no one sees a problem with that. She should be willing to put up with a few inconveniences if she loves him. I agree he should do the same for her.
I see this more as, she would like HIM to take RESPONSIBILITY for what he loves. Complaining about mess and not cleaning, unhealthy diet, and "Pouting" does not indicate maturity or responsibility.If he's sooo in love with these dogs, he should b taking a much more active role in their care, if not, he should be respecting the wishes of the one who does provide the care. A relationship between two people that involves dogs should be just that. Not a relationship with two dogs that happens to include a person! LGB, I just got out of a 4+ year relationship, The guy was not for me, I will NEVER look at that time as wasted, it was just a learning experience. I learned and moved on. You my want to consider it, but we also don't know the whole scope of the situation either. Good Luck!!
Edited 'cause I can't spell!
Using the same logic, if you love your BF, wouldn't you want to give up sleeping with your dogs for him? It sounds like you expect him to accept everything about you without you having to make the same concessions for him. The best relationships are where each partner wants what is best for the other, not what is best for him/herself.
So why doesn't she want what's best for him? I am just saying it works both ways. I would not give up my dogs for anyone. Anyone who can't accept that should not get involved with me. She is trying to take away what he loves, and no one sees a problem with that. She should be willing to put up with a few inconveniences if she loves him. I agree he should do the same for her.
I see this more as, she would like HIM to take RESPONSIBILITY for what he loves. Complaining about mess and not cleaning, unhealthy diet, and "Pouting" does not indicate maturity or responsibility.If he's sooo in love with these dogs, he should b taking a much more active role in their care, if not, he should be respecting the wishes of the one who does provide the care. A relationship between two people that involves dogs should be just that. Not a relationship with two dogs that happens to include a person! LGB, I just got out of a 4+ year relationship, The guy was not for me, I will NEVER look at that time as wasted, it was just a learning experience. I learned and moved on. You my want to consider it, but we also don't know the whole scope of the situation either. Good Luck!!
Edited 'cause I can't spell!
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- Feb 10, 2010
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Cluckin'Along :
I see this more as, she would like HIM to take RESPONSIBILITY for what he loves. Complaining about mess and not cleaning, unhealthy diet, and "Pouting" does not indicate maturity or responsibility.If he's sooo in love with these dogs, he should b taking a much more active role in their care, if not, he should be respecting the wishes of the one who does provide the care. A relationship between two people that involves dogs should be just that. Not a relationship with two dogs that happens to include a person!
Well, yes, I agree with that. He needs to take responsibility for his dogs. I don't think she should have to clean up after them at all. I just think that if someone has always slept with their dogs, asking them to give that up is a bit much. I would not do it for anyone. I dated a guy who told me he wanted me to keep my dog off of MY couch because he got dog hair on the seat of his car when he sat on my furniture. I told him to take a hike. He can go sit on the furniture of someone who doesn't have a dog.
I see this more as, she would like HIM to take RESPONSIBILITY for what he loves. Complaining about mess and not cleaning, unhealthy diet, and "Pouting" does not indicate maturity or responsibility.If he's sooo in love with these dogs, he should b taking a much more active role in their care, if not, he should be respecting the wishes of the one who does provide the care. A relationship between two people that involves dogs should be just that. Not a relationship with two dogs that happens to include a person!
Well, yes, I agree with that. He needs to take responsibility for his dogs. I don't think she should have to clean up after them at all. I just think that if someone has always slept with their dogs, asking them to give that up is a bit much. I would not do it for anyone. I dated a guy who told me he wanted me to keep my dog off of MY couch because he got dog hair on the seat of his car when he sat on my furniture. I told him to take a hike. He can go sit on the furniture of someone who doesn't have a dog.
Quote:
Well, yes, I agree with that. He needs to take responsibility for his dogs. I don't think she should have to clean up after them at all. I just think that if someone has always slept with their dogs, asking them to give that up is a bit much. I would not do it for anyone. I dated a guy who told me he wanted me to keep my dog off of MY couch because he got dog hair on the seat of his car when he sat on my furniture. I told him to take a hike. He can go sit on the furniture of someone who doesn't have a dog.
I'm gonna go with he sounds like he wants a mommy not a GF. This is the part of the OP's argument that seals the deal for me. He wants what he wants but he wants HER to take care of it all.
"I know, I feel selfish and jealous, but honestly, how can he let them get away with it? He's mad the house is full of fur, but he KNOWS the darn dogs shed like nothing we've ever know, yet he will let them all over the house, sleep on the couch, etc. etc. etc."
Also, LGB mentioned that "they" are fostering these dogs. So at some point "they" must have come to an agreement to get them TOGETHER. Nowhere in her statement did she say they were his dogs or that she came into the relationship after he already had dogs.
What she does say is he wants to spoil them, he wants to let them in the bed, he doesn't take responsibility for them, he doesn't clean up after them, he thinks it's funny when they irritate her with their bad behavior, he wants them to welp on her bed, he wants mroe dogs and yet he gets irritated when the house is not clean.
Seems to me, he has forgotten that he is in a relationship, a partnership. Long and short of it is if he wants the dogs and he wants a clean house than he needs to grow up, be a man and take responsibility for his toys.
AND, beyond that basic issue, is the whole complex issue of why he feels it's "OK" to disrespect his GF. Why he seems to take enjoyment in her discomfort and unhappiness. I bet, this is not the first issues in which our OP has had problems with her BF disrespecting her feelings, opinions, needs and wants. And quite honestly, LGB it doesn't matter if you were in for 3 years or 30, if you don't address this now and make a change in how you expect to be treated in this relationship, it won't change. And 30 years from now you will have the same core complaint, only with a different catalyst.
Well, yes, I agree with that. He needs to take responsibility for his dogs. I don't think she should have to clean up after them at all. I just think that if someone has always slept with their dogs, asking them to give that up is a bit much. I would not do it for anyone. I dated a guy who told me he wanted me to keep my dog off of MY couch because he got dog hair on the seat of his car when he sat on my furniture. I told him to take a hike. He can go sit on the furniture of someone who doesn't have a dog.
I'm gonna go with he sounds like he wants a mommy not a GF. This is the part of the OP's argument that seals the deal for me. He wants what he wants but he wants HER to take care of it all.
"I know, I feel selfish and jealous, but honestly, how can he let them get away with it? He's mad the house is full of fur, but he KNOWS the darn dogs shed like nothing we've ever know, yet he will let them all over the house, sleep on the couch, etc. etc. etc."
Also, LGB mentioned that "they" are fostering these dogs. So at some point "they" must have come to an agreement to get them TOGETHER. Nowhere in her statement did she say they were his dogs or that she came into the relationship after he already had dogs.
What she does say is he wants to spoil them, he wants to let them in the bed, he doesn't take responsibility for them, he doesn't clean up after them, he thinks it's funny when they irritate her with their bad behavior, he wants them to welp on her bed, he wants mroe dogs and yet he gets irritated when the house is not clean.
Seems to me, he has forgotten that he is in a relationship, a partnership. Long and short of it is if he wants the dogs and he wants a clean house than he needs to grow up, be a man and take responsibility for his toys.
AND, beyond that basic issue, is the whole complex issue of why he feels it's "OK" to disrespect his GF. Why he seems to take enjoyment in her discomfort and unhappiness. I bet, this is not the first issues in which our OP has had problems with her BF disrespecting her feelings, opinions, needs and wants. And quite honestly, LGB it doesn't matter if you were in for 3 years or 30, if you don't address this now and make a change in how you expect to be treated in this relationship, it won't change. And 30 years from now you will have the same core complaint, only with a different catalyst.
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Personally I think these dogs need some manners. As for the sleeping arrangements, cant they compromise? On the bed one night off the next, dog's wont like it, but hey their dog's not humans, and I don't believe the bf should be letting them run the show. I sleep with 3 small dogs and a cat every night on the bed, but if my DH had a problem with it I would certainly try to take his feeling into account and come up with a solution, it's not my way or the high way.
I have 5 dogs and they are dogs, which are messy little critters. We have ripped up all our carpet and laid pergo, and I cant tell you what a difference this make's, no more stains on the carpet,I realize it's not a solution for all. In the OP case I believe the treats should be given else where, and I also think the BF should respect her feelings and efforts.
I have 5 dogs and they are dogs, which are messy little critters. We have ripped up all our carpet and laid pergo, and I cant tell you what a difference this make's, no more stains on the carpet,I realize it's not a solution for all. In the OP case I believe the treats should be given else where, and I also think the BF should respect her feelings and efforts.
- Feb 10, 2010
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yeah, I have to agree with you. This really is not about dogs.
yeah, I have to agree with you. This really is not about dogs.
- Dec 4, 2009
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If you don't want the dogs on the bed ,crate train them, eating should be done in one area of the house, scrap food should be put in dog bowls if your going to feed them and fur wise, you can by a fur brush.
- Thread starter
- #30
The ABSOLUTELY scary thing is, the dogs ARE crate trained... they LOVE sleeping in their little box... but they prefer to sleep in the bed with us instead LOL *face plant*
Anyways, the situations on the dogs were, a lady had bred... gosh, let's see MANY pairs of rat terriers and ended up with... 33+ dogs (all different ages, sexes, etc. all together in different kennels) and when she couldn't get rid of them (she was handicapped and bred dogs for a living *face plant again* yet she was wheel-chair bound and had a bunch of cages and never really socialized the dogs) and had to eventually give them away for free; all ages, sizes, etc. etc. Lucky us, it's not hard to rehome "small" dogs; I didn't bring these home, but I could say I couldn't help myself... I can't remember if I said nay or yay, but home these boogers came! And who can say NO to a dog who could potentially be homeless when one knows they could find a wonderful home for them!
The worst part of it is that all his dogs... small dogs, large dogs have died of old age... or the rare accident!
The last dog had had cancer for 5+ years and died at 16 because someone ran over him (not us!)
All their other small dogs have died anywhere between 12-18 years of age, all old age or I believe cancer.
None died from cooked chicken bones
they pretty much ALL LIVED on FRIED CHICKEN bones...
None were fat, overweight, etc. They died of "old age" and the very few died from accidents.
And we all do the general "I've been feeding them ____/doing ____ for years, and none of my dogs have died, so nothing must be wrong!"
I'm a RAW diet sort of person, so blah lol
ANYWAYS, I'm going to go PURCHASE a $40 dog bed (he HATES spending money on something he knows the dogs won't use) so NOW the dogs will have to sleep in the dog cage. Period.
I'll get a brush too
Anyways, the situations on the dogs were, a lady had bred... gosh, let's see MANY pairs of rat terriers and ended up with... 33+ dogs (all different ages, sexes, etc. all together in different kennels) and when she couldn't get rid of them (she was handicapped and bred dogs for a living *face plant again* yet she was wheel-chair bound and had a bunch of cages and never really socialized the dogs) and had to eventually give them away for free; all ages, sizes, etc. etc. Lucky us, it's not hard to rehome "small" dogs; I didn't bring these home, but I could say I couldn't help myself... I can't remember if I said nay or yay, but home these boogers came! And who can say NO to a dog who could potentially be homeless when one knows they could find a wonderful home for them!
The worst part of it is that all his dogs... small dogs, large dogs have died of old age... or the rare accident!
The last dog had had cancer for 5+ years and died at 16 because someone ran over him (not us!)
All their other small dogs have died anywhere between 12-18 years of age, all old age or I believe cancer.
None died from cooked chicken bones
None were fat, overweight, etc. They died of "old age" and the very few died from accidents.
And we all do the general "I've been feeding them ____/doing ____ for years, and none of my dogs have died, so nothing must be wrong!"
I'm a RAW diet sort of person, so blah lol
ANYWAYS, I'm going to go PURCHASE a $40 dog bed (he HATES spending money on something he knows the dogs won't use) so NOW the dogs will have to sleep in the dog cage. Period.
I'll get a brush too
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