Irritated...

[scbatz33]

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Ok, so where are you going to be in another 3+ years? Didn't you say one of the dogs is pregnant?

3 years isn't as long as 30 years...since this sleeping arrangement is a thorn in your side it really needs to be corrected quickly. You and boyfriend need to sit down and have a serious talk about this. Small(?) things can really damage a relationship, especially where one side of the relationship doesn't see anything wrong with the situation. Maybe boyfriend sees this as something "funny", you need to get it across to him that it is *serious*, otherwise he'll continue to give you his "sad", juvenile look...tell him to grow up.

If something makes you uncomfortable where you sleep then it needs to definitely be taken care of....otherwise you *will* find somewhere else to sleep. The bed should be the place where you lay down to sleep and can be comfortable and at peace, there should be no controversy there. It is truely hard for me to understand why he keeps letting the dogs sleep in the bed when he knows how much you dislike them doing so.

As for the greasy chicken smearing across the floor and onto the carpet...slip a little greasy chicken skin into one of his shoes, maybe it'll make him think about things a bit more.

Best wishes,
Ed

Ed you said it better than I would have.

 

[redux]

I sleep with my dog in my bed. I have for years. Anyone who comes into my life is just going to have to deal with it. If they don't like it, they are free to sleep someplace else. Putting animals ahead of people? Perhaps. But if sleeping with my dog makes me happy, I am not going to let anyone take it away from me. There really are two sides to every story. I guess I believe, "love me, love my dog."

 

[Intheswamp]

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Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????

Ed

 

[Katy]

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Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????

Ed

I suppose it depends on who owns the bed and house that they're sleeping in as to who should dump who.

 

[Intheswamp]

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Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????

Ed

I suppose it depends on who owns the bed and house that they're sleeping in as to who should dump who.

But, of course!

Ed

 

[HEChicken]

little_gray_bantam, I can easily understand why you are feeling irritated - that would irritate the heck out of me as well! Our dogs do not very often get table scraps, so when they do, it is a huge treat. HOWEVER, the rule is that they have to take them outside to eat. So, in the event they have a beef rib to gnaw on, we take the ribs and the dogs out the back door to the deck, then they each have to sit politely and wait to be given their treat. Once given the rib, they head down the stairs to find a private spot in the backyard to work on it. Our dogs are wimps and really don't like to be outdoors much (and they are LARGE dogs!) but they are so used to this rule that they don't even try to carry the bone inside to chew on it.

As for sleeping in the bed, ours are too big to even consider that, but when we first got them, we did let them sleep in the bedROOM. But, it turns out that 4am is the perfect time for grooming. Night after night I woke up around 4am to hear "slurp, slurp, slurp, lick, lick, lick, slurp, lick, slurp, lick". Once I was fully awake, it would occur to me to tell the offender to "knock it off", which would bring about immediate silence...just long enough for me to drift back to sleep. As soon as they sensed I was sleeping again, the slurping and licking would start up again. After several weeks with NO sign that they were going to find a better time to groom, the dogs were ejected from the bedroom. Oh sure, they didn't like it at first and would give us the sad, droopy look when we shut the bedroom door in their face. But they adjusted quickly and no longer expect to be in the bedroom at night. They do sleep right outside the bedroom door but the grooming sounds only occasionally wake me now so I can handle that.

We were lucky that DH and I agreed on both of these items and it sounds like your BF doesn't. I would suggest sitting down to discuss with him at a time when neither of you is feeling irritated by something else. Tell him what you told us and see if you can reach a compromise.

 

[redux]

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Ok, so are you recommending that LGB dump boyfriend or that boyfriend dump LGB????

Ed

neither. I am just saying that if you love someone, you love all that comes with them. It's kind of unfair to say, Oh I love you but I want you to give up what you love.

 

[HEChicken]

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Using the same logic, if you love your BF, wouldn't you want to give up sleeping with your dogs for him? It sounds like you expect him to accept everything about you without you having to make the same concessions for him. The best relationships are where each partner wants what is best for the other, not what is best for him/herself.

 

[silverbird]

Ed, I think you said it very well, I have to agree!
LGB, I am sorry, it sounds like a real pain, it probably would help to sit down and discuss things with your BF. It is a big deal to you, and it needs to be dealt with....this really could define your relationship....could be a dealbreaker....or it could be a great opportunity to problem solve together. I think how this resolves will be very telling of where your relationship is headed!
Good luck

 

[redux]

Quote:
Using the same logic, if you love your BF, wouldn't you want to give up sleeping with your dogs for him? It sounds like you expect him to accept everything about you without you having to make the same concessions for him. The best relationships are where each partner wants what is best for the other, not what is best for him/herself.

So why doesn't she want what's best for him? I am just saying it works both ways. I would not give up my dogs for anyone. Anyone who can't accept that should not get involved with me. She is trying to take away what he loves, and no one sees a problem with that. She should be willing to put up with a few inconveniences if she loves him. I agree he should do the same for her.