Reminds me of the old joke...
A guy is looking through the paper one day, and sees an ad that says "Talking Dog For Sale". So, he goes to the listed address to check it out. He tells the guy who opens the door he's here to see the talking dog. "Yeah, he's in the back bedroom." The guy walks down the hall and finds the dog in bed, remote control in paw, watching TV. "Hey, how's it going?" asks the dog.
The guy is amazed. "Wow! You really are a talking dog. What's your story?"
"Well, I started out young in show business. I was in movies, but got tired of them, so I went to Broadway. Then 9/11 happened. I ran over to Ground Zero to see if I could help. I was sniffing out survivors, and bodies of the unlucky. When the country went to war, I signed up. I was sniffing bombs and helping soldiers. Well, I got shot one day. Got a Purple Heart for it, and an Honorable Discharge. I came back to the States and worked with the TSA at the airport. I tell you what, you spend a couple years sniffing luggage full of dirty underwear, and you'll be ready for retirement."
Stunned, the man walks back down the hall and asks the owner, "Why are you selling that talking dog?"
"Cause he's a big liar!"