Is There Anybody Else Here With Aspberger's Syndrome?

[cmjust0]

Pretty sure I have it. I've not been diagnosed, but I started suspecting it a number of years ago and I've since taken a bunch of quizzes and screens and stuff online -- just for fun, of course -- and they all pointed that direction. Found another one recently called the AQ Test.. First time I took the AQ, I scored a 36. Then I realized it was a *real test* designed to be a *real screening tool* -- not just some little online quizzy thing.

After figuring out it wasn't just some little hacky quiz, I had a bit of a "uh oh...this just got real" moment, so I took the test again. I really felt like I was more "honest" with it that time, and I didn't rush...39.

Normal is 16.4.

My mom scored a 21, and I know of someone else who took it and got a 13. I can't even fathom what someone would have to answer on the AQ to get a 13!

FWIW, it's not uncommon for Aspie kids to be considered "little professors," as they tend to take great joy in explaining their understanding of things to anyone who will listen, using the largest words possible. That was me, in a nutshell.. Nobody really knew what Asperger's was in the early/mid 1980's, but my nickname as a kid was "Mr. Wizard." I was also kinda gullible, clumsy, naive, had special interests into which I'd put 1,010% effort, etc. -- all markers for AS.

I still have/am a lot of those things, btw.

I'm also a software engineer, and a purty good one.

Turns out, Aspies tend toward technical careers as we/they are very good with systems.

I may go get an actual diagnosis one day. Just having reason to believe myself to be an undiagnosed Aspie is kind of a relief, though, as others have mentioned. I've always known I was "weird" or whatever, but knowing I'm not alone in my weirdness -- and that there may be an actual *reason* for it -- is a good feeling.

 

[Widget]

Quote:
Problem is the HR department is in another state. We do have a representative at our facility but she sort of inherited the job when they laid off the actual HR person. The one we have is great when it comes to insurance stuff but that's about it. My supervisor's boss is the facility manager so I can't get much higher than that without going to the out of state people. And from what little dealings I've had with those people I think I have a better chance of getting my point across where I am. From experience I know the facility manager is the type who takes issues seriously and will actually listen to the employees.
I also am not looking to get my boss in hot water especially with the out of state people. I really think he just needs a bit of training when it comes to ADA issues. In spite of everything he is actually a good boss.

 

[welsummerchicks]

I would think it would be a huge relief to know. I would also offer a caution - some psychologists diagnose any aloof person with aspergers. Aspergers is not just a personality style or shyness. I've even had several friends who were MIS diagnosed - with aspergers. They did not have it.

I don't know anyone who has been correctly diagnosed with aspergers, who hasn't found it a relief to know for sure. I know several people who have been misdiagnosed for years, and were much happier to know they had aspergers.

People with aspergers are in a very special and unique situation. They experience the world a little differently, but they are unique in that they have the ability to communicate that vision to others. It enriches other people to understand how you feel and to try and see the world as you do.

Aspergers is a 'spectrum disorder'. Meaning it can be very mild, or it can be severe. It seems from what little I know, that many people who have aspergers do extremely well if they accept themselves as a person with aspergers. Working with the gifts you have to make them a positive thing.

Some people with aspergers like to go along alone with their special interests and don't feel the need to socialize.

But it appears to me, that many people with aspergers want to socialize and have relationships just like anyone else, they just need a little bit of encouragement and guidance as to how to go about doing that. I think most people are very open to people with aspergers and very accepting. If a few people are not accepting, I seriously doubt that they are worth worrying over.

 

[cmjust0]

Aloof is one thing...having to develop systems for difficult social interaction is another.

Take the concept of trust, for instance.. I basically had to develop a little system for trust because figuring out who to trust and who NOT to trust is difficult and uncomfortable for me. Probably that way for everyone, I suppose, but one of my traits is that I'm not a great judge of character..

So, my trust system goes like this: I trust you only as much as I trust myself to cope with your misdeeds.

There it is. That's it. So, if someone comes up to me and asks "Hey, can I borrow $5? I'm a little short today" I would think first about how well I could cope with losing that $5 in the case that they don't return it.. If I can live without that $5, I'll lend it. If not, I won't. The thing to note is that it really doesn't matter much who the person is -- could be someone I've known for years, or someone I've only known for a little while...it has FAR less to do with them than it has to do with me, and how well I can recover if they decide to hose me. (Though, obviously, if I don't know you, or if I know you to be a hoser, and therefore have little or no expectation of getting my $5 back, you're not getting my $5 -- that goes without saying.)

Now...what about $10? $20? $100? $500? Again, it depends mostly on how much I need that money and/or what it would take to recover from being hosed.

I have all sorts of little systems like that which help me navigate the world and live my day to day life.. Another would be my handy dandy "easy way/right way" system for difficult decisions.. I've found that most folks' brains are really good -- prewired, in a way -- at picking the easiest thing to do in a given situation. I also happen to believe that the easy way to do something and the right way to do it are almost NEVER the same way.. So, to me, it stands to reason that when faced with two ways to do something, the human brain can very quickly identify the easy way -- which means you've also identified the *right* way by process of elimination!

All that's left to do then is suck it up and do the right thing. Piece of cake.

Anyhow, I'm pretty OK with having systems like that. Other people don't often understand them, and some people think it's weird to live that way, or that I "overanalyze" everything -- which may be true -- but it works for me.

 

[welsummerchicks]

Um...that's exactly how I decide things too.

 

[cmjust0]

Are you an Aspie, or are you saying that how I'm functioning seems normal?

I ask because I really dunno what normal is...I just know how I am, and how people generally characterize the way I operate. Usually, comments are something along the lines of "weird" or "odd" or "Are you sure you're not an alien?"

 

[Lunachick]

My daughter is an aspie. She'll be 30 in November. School was VERY difficult for her, so I pulled her out in 8th grade and homeschooled. Asperger's sydrome wasn't very well known then, she had psychologists up the yahoo trying to get her to fit in at school. Everything with school was "get her as 'normal' as possible

had her enter an alternative school which was afilliated with the public school system. That didn't go very well......She got her GED and the next day got her driver's license, after that she got a job at Hollywood Video. That lasted about 7 months and she quit - she doesn't do well in social situations i.e jobs dealing with people.

She is a very sweet girl - LOVES her cats and all creatures, very emotional, takes things VERY personal. Her IQ is 124. But the common sense thing came later

Today she accepts herself as she is. She always got our support and always will. She has a boyfriend that has his own similar problems and they get along great and she's finally going out and doing things with this man. Before she stayed home and in her PJs all day. So........I guess what I'm trying to say is that it does get better when you get older (at least from what I see) She's gaining self esteem, is getting out of the freaking house and has a companion that appreciates her and she him.

AND she always has our support. To earn her keep she does ALL the housework for us, and we put her on payroll from our office so she is safe with ss in the future (I hope ss is still around for everyone!)

Other things: she reads a book a day or more depending on the size of the book, she does have OCD unfortunately, but is learning to deal with it as best she can. Along with OCD comes depression.......it's very frustrating struggling with OCD - it becomes your life and she gets very depressed. But all in all she is doing very well considering.

 

[Widget]

Quote:
I do pretty much the same thing

And I am always accused of over analyzing things. Give me a situation and I will come up with things that could go wrong before you are even done telling me the entire story. It isn't that I want things to go wrong but I believe that to make an informed decision one should have all the facts. I would have been the one on the Titanic saying 'Hey guys you do know there aren't enough lifeboats to save everyone if the boat sinks?'

 

[debilorrah]

My experience with an Aspie, two actually: one very mild and the other extreme. The mild friend was recently diagnosed and she is having a hard time accepting it, though I have told her many times that now that she knows what the deal is, she has reasoning for her behaviors. The extreme case, in my opinion, is really autistic and not an Aspie. He is violent, loving, funny, angry, has extreme OCD and cannot interact socially at all. His one friend is also an extreme Aspie.

 

[breezy]

Quote:
With all due respect,I have to disagree with this. There are aspies who can communicate well but they seem to be a minority. Most aspies like my husband have a great deal of trouble communicating with others. They are at a disadvantage because they dont have the ability to read facial expressions, they often take phrasing literally which is confusing to them and the person they are trying to communicate with, they often have misleading facial or body language themselves which can lead to misscommunications and many aspies have a limited range of emotions. Many aspies lack empathy and that leads others to assume they are cold hearted which usually isnt the case at all. Many aspies cannot tolerate much in the way of touch which leads others to assume they are aloof,stuck up or whatever. Its another communcation problem. Many aspies can be fairly intense and that intensity is often mistaken by others as aggression or hostility or as anger.
The fact that its a spectrum disorder is often not clearly understood either. There are aspies who are mildly affected and there are those who are deeply affected but my personal experience is that the average aspie can swing back and forth within that spectrum arc on any given day based on what level of stress or preoccupation they may be having with whatever they have in front of them at that moment.

I often explain Aspergers to people who dont know what it is by saying its a communication disorder. My husband doesnt communicate well with others because he has language barriers and an inability to read others body and facial language. My husbands body and brain dont communicate well with each other and thats why he doesnt feel pain the same way other people do. He can be either insensitive to pain or hyper sensitive and a minor thing can be excruciating.
He doesnt have the same ability to filter out things that others would find irritating but tolerable such as textures or touch on his skin, certain sounds, bright lights, air moving over his skin ect.
It can be really hard to be an aspie, for many it would really similar to the average person being dropped into a foreign country where they had to interact and survive without understanding the language, the rules of conduct, the local customs, the laws ect.

Just my .02 cents worth based on 27 years of life with an aspie