Is There Anybody Else Here With Aspberger's Syndrome?

[Robin'sBrood]

This thread is fascinating. My mother and I believe my younger brother has Asperger's even though he has never been diagnosed (he's 39). He was a very "different" child. Things bothered him to an extreme, such as tags in the necks of his clothes, people breathing or eating or chewing gum where he could hear it, etc. (He still hates the chewing stuff!) He is extremely intelligent. He used to read encyclopedias for fun and he is a total computer geek, which is what he does for a living in a university. He used to obsess about the weather and would have made a great meteorologist! He loves cats and is very close to his 3. He still lives at home and has never had a girlfriend, nor has he ever wanted one. But he isn't gay, he just isn't interested. Socially, I have seen him grow A LOT since his childhood, when he was painfully shy and never had a close friend. He is still a bit quirky, but he is so much better than he was... he even went to his 20th high school reunion last year! He is a wonderful brother and I love him just the way he is!

Sometimes I wonder a little about myself...

 

[chicken_china_mom]

Robin'sBrood :

This thread is fascinating. My mother and I believe my younger brother has Asperger's even though he has never been diagnosed (he's 39). He was a very "different" child. Things bothered him to an extreme, such as tags in the necks of his clothes, people breathing or eating or chewing gum where he could hear it, etc. (He still hates the chewing stuff!) He is extremely intelligent. He used to read encyclopedias for fun and he is a total computer geek, which is what he does for a living in a university. He used to obsess about the weather and would have made a great meteorologist! He loves cats and is very close to his 3. He still lives at home and has never had a girlfriend, nor has he ever wanted one. But he isn't gay, he just isn't interested. Socially, I have seen him grow A LOT since his childhood, when he was painfully shy and never had a close friend. He is still a bit quirky, but he is so much better than he was... he even went to his 20th high school reunion last year! He is a wonderful brother and I love him just the way he is!

Sometimes I wonder a little about myself...

Some of the same things that bother your brother bother me too, so I can sympathize. Fabric bothers me A LOT, and there are materials that I cannot stand to wear. Tags can bother me, but mine goes beyond just tags. I've had underwear bother me so much I've thrown them out after a single use because the seams weren't even and I didn't feel they were covering me evenly in the back, if you get my drift. I've done the same thing with bras, shirts, and even pants. There are certain sounds that annoy me and make me feel like I'm going to go nuts when I can't correct them. I have a dear friend that, while I love his company, he drives me nuts because he doesn't trim his nose hairs, and as a result he will exhale quickly, as though something just flew up his nose, and he does this CONSTANTLY. I want to buy him nose hair trimmers, but that would probably not be polite, so I have not yet done it. It drives me nuts when my dogs lick themselves, doesn't even matter if it's just their paw they're licking, the sound of their tongue moving disgusts me and my dogs all know that if I say their name sharply, they better stop. Whining, snoring, incessant meowing from cats, people chewing with their mouths open, and vomiting, are all sounds that bother me, but there's a lot of visual stimuli that bothers me too. Dogs cleaning themselves, people picking at themselves, sex scenes in movies, etc. Sure, it's normal to be disgusted by these images, but they disgust me so much that my anxiety levels just go through the roof. It bothers me just to see people make out in a movie or tv show. I have habits that others find very annoying too, or so I've been told. I drive my mother nuts because I constantly crack my knuckles. I start to feel what can only be described as pressure build up in my fingers and knuckles, and the only way I can relieve that pressure is to crack my knuckles. I am constantly tapping my foot or shaking my legs, and when I stand I rock. I just always feel like I have built up energy that has to be relieved, and these motions sooth me. At night I can't sleep unless I can rub the satin edges of a blanket. Sounds strange to most people, but it's how I've been for as long as I can remember, and that goes back as far as to when I was 2. I wore the satin edge off my favorite baby blanket, and then wore it off the blankets on my bed as I got older, and now I have a total of 3 blankets with satin, and I ALWAYS have one in my bed, ALL YEAR LONG. I can't sleep unless I do. I'm a picker too, but it is restricted to my hands and face for the most part. I just can't leave blemishes alone. I have other habits that no one knows about, that are sort of compulsive in nature. I was yelled at by dentist a few years ago because he says I brush my teeth TOO much, if that's even possible. He says I'm wearing the enamel off, but I can't NOT brush as thoroughly as I do. I brush for a minimum of 5 minutes, but usually it can be around 10 to 15 minutes. I always feel like there is dirt still hiding between my teeth and I just have to get at it. I brush my tongue until I'm gagging too because I can feel the film and I can't stand to have it there. Social wise, I do like people, but I don't always fit in. I don't make friends that easily, and the ones I do have tell me I'm loud and extremely talkative. I just can't shut up. I don't really know when to stop talking. Sometimes I catch a cue on someone's face that tells me I should stop talking, but usually I miss it completely. My family, children included, have learned to just interrupt me and tell me to can it, lol. They all tease me that I post books when I post on here or on FB, but I just can't NOT do it, you know? It's just who I am. Your brother read encyclopedias? I read dictionaries as a kid, and as I got older, I discovered the joy of animals, birds in particular, and I began obsessively collecting birds, and books on them. At one point, before I met my kids father, I had somewhere around 32 cockatiels, 2 lovebirds, and a Nanaday conure. When I started dating him though, he forced me to sell off most of my birds, or he just took them without my knowledge and sold them. I won't even begin to tell you how that made me feel. I can never have just one of an animal. I need things to be even, so one dog became two, became 4, became 6...chickens are numbering around 50 right now, and I hate having just one of any breed, it has to be 2 or more. My mother collects cats. I can recognize fairly quickly when I'm overwhelmed, but that doesn't mean I can move quickly to correct the situation. It takes my mom much longer to realize when she has too many cats, and then it takes her even longer to do what needs to be done to correct the situation. Without me constantly reminding her that there are too many cats, and that it's because we have to feed them, spay them, get shots, etc, we have no money for other bills. And I have to be informed by outside sources before even I realize that we have too many. My one friend is able to get through to me without bringing out my stubborn, argumentative side, lol. She's the only person that is able to do that. I suspect that she's an Aspie too. She is even less social than I am, and very introverted. Maybe that's why we always got along so well? I could go on all day about excentricities, but I get the feeling this post is plenty long enough, lol. I may not fit into the norm, but it's norm for me.

 

[breezy]

Without going back and snipping parts of your post to support this I am going to say that when you get your official testing done your going to come back as an aspie. There were a lot of markers in your post that indicate that to me including even how the post was typed. Im not an aspie expert by any means but live with an aspie long enough and its easy to pick one out in a crowd

There is a group on yahoo called Aspires. Here is the link:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/aspires-relationships/

While this group is mainly for the NT spouses and their aspies partners there is a lot of really good help to be gotten. I particularly like this group because I can ask something like : Why does my husband do...... fill in the blank and people with aspergers will tell me why he does whatever it is from their perspective. It works the other way too so when an aspie is confused by NT behaviour we all chime in and try to help them understand. The group will also be able to help point you to resources for your mom and your kids. On a personal note in regards to your mom....if she isnt comfortable socializing with others dont force her to try and change. Socializing can be stressful in the extreme for some aspies.

The key here is to gain understanding to the differences and how to bridge those differences. You have a journey ahead of you now and its going to be a very interesting one.

 

[TerriLaChicks]

Quote:
That's not really accurate.. What the researchers found was that 80% of people diagnosed with Autism or Aspergers scored above a 32. I take that to mean it's just another indicator, rather than a "Yep -- you're autistic!" kind of thing.. I'd be very interested to see the percentage of people who scored above a 32 who were *not* deemed Autistic nor Aspies.. If that number were, say, 10%, then it seems to me that scoring above 32 would mean there's a 90% change you'd be diagnosed.

I can't find any such number, though..

I scored a 39 on the AQ test and pretty high on the Aspie side of the 200-point test, but I tested normally on facial recognition and reading facial expressions. My emotional IQ is in the low 80's.. My empathizer score was a bit low (31...39 is normal), but my systemizer score was WAAAAAAAAY HIGH at 130 (61.5 is normal).

I'd say that's about right.. I remember names and faces pretty well, and I'm friendly, and I can usually tell when someone is mad or sad or happy or whatever -- I may just not know why. And even if they tell me, I still may not really understand it. That may lead me to occasionally say the wrong thing at the wrong time*, and I may not always understand how I've hurt someones feelings.. I just think a little differently...more objectively than most, I believe...and I'm a really good problem solver. I've had to *learn* that people don't always want their problems solved in a concrete, calculated manner, but I'm still not the best at determining when it's appropriate and when it's not. Sometimes, I feel a little bit...dare I say...compelled to try to solve other peoples' problems when I learn of them. Sometimes I think the appreciation that usually comes along with solving peoples' problems is the closest I can get to feeling valuable, though I dunno if that will make a lot of sense to anyone but me.

* - I thought up an example for this.. If someone were to say to me "I'm too ugly to get married" my first inclination would be to say something like "But there are plenty of ugly people who are married!" It's a true statement -- we all know that -- and it's *meant* to be helpful and encouraging, but it's just.....NOT. When I was younger, I pretty routinely said things like that without thinking, and someone would have to explain to me that I'd said something hurtful.. Sometimes I got it and felt bad, and sometimes I didn't and just felt...confused. Now that I'm a little older, I can *usually* catch myself before I say something like that. In those times when I don't catch myself in time, I've gotten pretty good at following up with inappropriate laughter.

That probably sounds counterproductive, but my experience has been that painting a slip-up like that as an inappropriate joke is almost always better than having someone know that you *actually meant it.*

Gee. You just described - me. I am going to make an apt & go get the whole test done.
I guess it's safe to say, for all of us on this thread, that chickens are one of our current obsessions, lol!

 

[redhen]

Who does the testing? PCP doc or...

 

[cmjust0]

Robin'sBrood :

This thread is fascinating. My mother and I believe my younger brother has Asperger's even though he has never been diagnosed (he's 39). He was a very "different" child. Things bothered him to an extreme, such as tags in the necks of his clothes, people breathing or eating or chewing gum where he could hear it, etc.

Funny you'd mention the clothing thing...I'm just like that. I actually have a "uniform," of sorts, that I wear pretty much all the time. What I do -- this is slightly embarrassing

-- is find something I like that fits me correctly and functions well, and I buy A WHOLE BUNCH OF IT.

I have like 7 or 8 pairs of the same pants in my closet, in four different colors. Same thing with shirts -- I have a whole bunch of solid-colored polo shirts....same manufacturer, same size, just different colors. I can only ever find the pants at Target, and the shirts come from Kohls.. Period. No point in even looking anywhere else..

In any case, from day to day I'll just mix & match colors to *seem* like I"m not repeating. :lol I might wear my dark brown pants with a dark green shirt one day, then the same pants in chino with a the same shirt in light blue the next day, then the same pants in khaki with the same shirt in maroon the next day....so on, so forth. If I were me, looking at me, I'd probably notice that I was wearing the same clothes in different colors everyday but *nobody else* has ever noticed it and I've been doing this for years.

Thinking of the day when they discontinue my pants and shirts is...well, I don't look forward to it.

Also...and this is even more embarrassing, but I'll tell it anyway

...ill-fitting socks drive me absolutely BATTY, and sock manufacturing seems to be going downhill FAST.

So I *finally* found a certain type of socks at a department store -- dickies XL work socks, black, made in Pakistan -- that were absolutely, positively fantastic. The toe seam was just *perfect* for my feet. Next time I went back to that store, I headed directly to the men's sock isle with the intention of buying **every package they had** -- but the ones they had were made in Mexico! I was literally crestfallen.. They looked more or less the same, but not *quite*, so I bought one package as a trial hoping they'd be acceptable.. And they are acceptable...they're just not exquisite like the others. lol

Needless to say, everytime I go into the men's clothing section of any department store these days, I look for those "Made in Pakistan" Dickie's XL black work socks...but alas...I haven't found been able to find them again.

Bear in mind that I hadn't really considered how "rain man-esque" the socks thing was until I told someone about it and they went "yeah, definitely gotta get my underwear from kmart" and laughed..

I laughed too, of course, but then I kinda went...OH, SNAP.

 

[cmjust0]

Quote:
Ooh, ooh! Me too! I *despise* odd numbers for some reason. Drives me nuts when the volume on the TV or radio is an odd number. The actual number goes off the screen in like 2 seconds, of course, but it sticks in my brain that the tv volume is on like...31. Drives me up the wall. I have to either crank it up or down one notch, just so it's even.

Channel?...don't care. Channels can be odd numbers all day long. I dunno what the difference is, but there's a difference.

 

[annaraven]

Quote:
I often describe it as "culture blindness". Colorblind people simply cannot see certain colors and have to figure out workarounds to deal with the world as setup by people who aren't colorblind. Aspies simply do not see cultural norms and "unspoken rules" and have to figure out workarounds to deal with the neurotypical world. They often have trouble with pragmatics - eg., someone saying "gee it's hot in here" and expecting that you'll figure out you should offer to open the window you're sitting next to. So yeah, even though many aspies are hyperlexic (we have really big vocabularies), we often don't "get" what people mean in normal conversations. This makes it hard to communicate. It's also hard because of the unspoken cultural assumptions and such.

I've told people that being an Aspie in a neurotypical world is like an American being in Britain - they speak the same language but there are a lot of assumptions about cultural norms that aren't shared. The American has to be *told* that "of course you drive on the left" and "of course today's a bank holiday" and things that someone growing up there just knows. Sometimes I feel like it's living in a perpetual state of culture shock.

If you've ever had to interact in a foreign language for a long period of time, you know how exhausting it can be - that's the kind of exhaustion an Aspie often feels when trying to "get along" in the world - and then people wonder why we mess up and accuse us of just not trying hard enough.

Anyways - off to let the girls do some freerange time now.

 

[annaraven]

Quote:
Ooh, ooh! Me too! I *despise* odd numbers for some reason. Drives me nuts when the volume on the TV or radio is an odd number. The actual number goes off the screen in like 2 seconds, of course, but it sticks in my brain that the tv volume is on like...31. Drives me up the wall. I have to either crank it up or down one notch, just so it's even.

Channel?...don't care. Channels can be odd numbers all day long. I dunno what the difference is, but there's a difference.

I hate *even* numbers!

But, I cannot stand a drawer being "almost" closed. If it's all the way open, that's okay, but if it's partially closed, it has to get closed all the way. Otherwise, it, erm, it *itches* or something.

But, tags in the backs of shirts are the worst.

Absolutely drives me batty.

 

[Widget]

Forget turtlenecks. I feel like I'm being hanged. For that matter forget anything that is tight. And I don't like long sleeves on a shirt. I tend to roll them up unless it is really cold. Jackets are okay though probably because it is more uncomfortable to roll those sleeves up than to leave them down.