Is There Anybody Else Here With Aspberger's Syndrome?

[redhen]

Some of these things that you guys are describing sound like normal human quirks...
Like i cant stand turtle necks either..or long sleeves.. they bug me too...
but they bug lots of folks..

So how can folks tell if they really have it or not?

 

[Robin'sBrood]

I just gave some small examples of what my brother is like. He is beyond quirky, trust me, but I didn't want to write a novel on here. He honestly seems to have outgrown it some... or maybe he has just learned how to deal with life better with age... or maybe I've learned to overlook a lot. Whatever, I love him just the way he is. My family is going to spend the whole day with him at the fair tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it!

 

[chicken_china_mom]

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Ooh, ooh! Me too! I *despise* odd numbers for some reason. Drives me nuts when the volume on the TV or radio is an odd number. The actual number goes off the screen in like 2 seconds, of course, but it sticks in my brain that the tv volume is on like...31. Drives me up the wall. I have to either crank it up or down one notch, just so it's even.

Channel?...don't care. Channels can be odd numbers all day long. I dunno what the difference is, but there's a difference.

I do the same thing with the volume on the tv too. It has to be an even number, and I like it right around 32, lol.

Widget, I know what you mean about turtlenecks. I refuse to wear them as I find them to be one of the most uncomfortable pieces of clothing ever created. I prefer my shirts to have a lower neckline, like a v neck or a boat neck, anything so that it's not right up at my throat. If I am forced to wear a shirt like that, say for instance it's cold in the house and I throw on a sweatshirt, I will yank and tug at the neckline constantly, and even sit there holding it out so that it's not in contact with my skin. And if I get warm, that sweatshirt comes off immediately! I really, really don't like things on my feet. I don't wear socks unless I absolutely have to. You can ask my family, I will wear flip flops all year long if I can get away with it. When I sleep at night, I don't like the blankets over my feet unless it's really cold. Covering my feet makes me feel trapped, and that trapped feeling makes me extremely anxious and unable to sleep.

cmjust0, I do the same thing with clothes! If I find something comfortable, I will buy a lot of it in different colors, and wear the same general outfit day after day, just in different colors. There are a lot of materials that I just can't wear, but for the most part, I'm comfortable in cotton.

I also don't like wearing my hair down, yet I don't like short hair. Catch 22 I suppose, but I just don't like short hair. Anything falling my face, like bangs, drives me crazy, so I generally wear my hair just long enough to put it in a pony tail. I can't wear anything on my wrists, it makes me feel like there are bugs crawling on my skin (though I always attributed that to the nerve damage in my hands and wrists, but it may be more than that).

I wanted to ask the Aspies on here, is it normal to have some odors literally make me sick to my stomach? Like I totally cannot stand the smell of vanilla. It turns my stomach and makes me want to vomit. There are a lot of candle scents, perfumes, and cleaning products that I can't stand to smell.

 

[redhen]

Robin'sBrood :

I just gave some small examples of what my brother is like. He is beyond quirky, trust me, but I didn't want to write a novel on here. He honestly seems to have outgrown it some... or maybe he has just learned how to deal with life better with age... or maybe I've learned to overlook a lot. Whatever, I love him just the way he is. My family is going to spend the whole day with him at the fair tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it!

No..no.. i understood what you were saying about your brother...
That def sounds like more than a quirk...

Have a nice with him tomorrow!

 

[chicken_china_mom]

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The difference is in how it bugs you, compared to how it bugs Aspies. For me, any kind of constricting clothing makes me feel as though I'm trapped, suffocating, and raises my anxiety levels. It sounds like a lot of Aspies prefer looser fitting clothing, and I'm in that category. I feel like I can't move if my shirt is too tight. Does wearing turtlenecks just feel tight and uncomfortable? It's hard to describe the feelings that come over me personally when I am forced to wear something I'm not comfortable in. But it's a horrible feeling.

 

[annaraven]

The difference is in how pervasive and extensive these "quirks" are. Have a problem with tags in clothing is one thing. Having a problem with tags in clothing *AND* difficulty with pragmatics of conversation *AND* differences in central coherence *AND* etc, is what makes it Aspergers rather than just a person with a simple quirk.

One of the things many Aspies try to point out is that it is a spectrum - and that many otherwise neurotypical individuals have "quirks" that are *part* of what is involved in being on the spectrum. However, when you have a list of "quirks" that you get tired of listing, (or don't get tired of because it's your special interest but everyone else is bored by long since), then it becomes something more than just a human with a quirk. Because it honestly is a different way of perceiving and processing information compared to neurotypicals. It's a *pervasive* difference, and it's also *developmental* difference in that some things will develop over time at a different rate than neurotypicals, but other things will simply have to be learned intellectually but not as a "gut reaction" - like when I realized that body language exists.

Most neurotypicals just read human body language unconsciously, picking up subtle cues about the conversation at many levels. This is why they hate email - it's a single level of communication. Most Aspies or others on the spectrum either had to learn on purpose to "read body language" (like learning to read a foreign language) or simply are oblivious to the fact that body language even exists. I always was able to understand my cat far better than I could understand humans, because it never occurred to me that humans were communicating at more than just a verbal level. It was speech class in high school where I realized that body language exists and that eye contact is important!

Anyways - just saying it's more than just "a quirk". It's a whole constellation of such "quirks" and more that we can't even describe or explain.

 

[cmjust0]

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My idiosyncrasies make me feel:

A) unique.
B) weird.

 

[chicken_china_mom]

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My idiosyncrasies make me feel:

A) unique.
B) weird.

I agree, me too. I don't feel like everyone else.

 

[cmjust0]

In the song "All Apologies," Kurt Cobain wrote: "I wish I was like you / easily amused."

I strongly identified with that the very first time I heard it as a kid.. I think most people would probably take that strictly as a smart-aleck remark about Cobain's own self-importance and what he perceived as everyone else's stupidity, but we're talking about a guy who had profound emotional/mental/behavioral problems... I think he meant it.. I think he really did wish he could just be normal.. Granted, he's directing an obvious negativity toward "normal" people by calling them "easily amused," but I really don't think it's so much a put-down as it is an indication of his jealousy toward them..

And I kinda know what that's like.. I always thought it would be super nice to cruise through life like most people seem to do, without really having any reason to wonder why I came out the way I did.. When feeling "weird" or "different" causes you problems, it's easy to become frustrated with yourself.

What I've come to learn, though, is that few people cruise through the way I thought they did.. Understanding that life's not really *easy* for anyone sorta made my own problems and oddities seem a little less significant, which was good. Then I realized that some of my peculiarities could actually be *useful* and gear me toward doing certain things that other people stuggle with, which led me to a career path and a good job and all the indepedence I wanted. That was a VERY good thing.

So, at this point in my life, I guess I don't really share Cobain's wish anymore. I'm OK with being me. I'm more OK with it on some days than others, of course, but I'm pretty OK with it most of the time.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Thanks for explaining!