Acutally, I think that polite answers, even if you are getting made fun of, might be the best course. Remember, you are a representative for your faith. There is a lot of prejudice against Muslims in this country. A polite answer might place a seed in a person's heart. Later, they might want to learn more about your faith or they might be more open to another Muslim because you were polite in the face of their ignorance. You might even influence an onlooker who is just observing the exchange. Who knows, ten years from now your kindness might be one of the factors that lead such a person to convert to your faith.
is this ridiculous, or am I expecting too much? long RANT!
- Thread starter arabookworm
- Start date
- Status
Quote:
Here's one--my son has it on a t-shirt."Please speak slowly--I'm not fluent in idiot"
Here's one--my son has it on a t-shirt."Please speak slowly--I'm not fluent in idiot"
It stinks that you have to go through that but I agree with deb1 is right and that with the situation you will catch more flies with honey.
My family is 100% Armenian, and my father grew up during the cold war and was called a commie and much worse. He often ended up in fist fights. My Grandmother (all of whom were born in the US except for one) could not join the local Women's Manor club until she was in her 50's and my family could not join the country club until 1980's. Times change but very slowly.
My roommate in high school was Muslim and was from Pakistan, although I did not understand or agree with all of her beliefs she was one of the coolest people I ever knew and I learned a lot from her. Had she not answered all of my often ignorant and sometimes stupid questions I would never have gotten to understand it all and why she believed what she did and behaved how she did. In turn she asked me lots of questions of my culture. My favorite was when we first met and she somewhat berated me for cursing and could not understand why I did it. I said "oh its just part of the English language I mean no harm by it, you'll see" We laughed latter because in only a matter of a few weeks she too sounded like a trucker
in fact I still remember a few choice phrases in Ordu (sp?)
My family is 100% Armenian, and my father grew up during the cold war and was called a commie and much worse. He often ended up in fist fights. My Grandmother (all of whom were born in the US except for one) could not join the local Women's Manor club until she was in her 50's and my family could not join the country club until 1980's. Times change but very slowly.
My roommate in high school was Muslim and was from Pakistan, although I did not understand or agree with all of her beliefs she was one of the coolest people I ever knew and I learned a lot from her. Had she not answered all of my often ignorant and sometimes stupid questions I would never have gotten to understand it all and why she believed what she did and behaved how she did. In turn she asked me lots of questions of my culture. My favorite was when we first met and she somewhat berated me for cursing and could not understand why I did it. I said "oh its just part of the English language I mean no harm by it, you'll see" We laughed latter because in only a matter of a few weeks she too sounded like a trucker
Last edited:
Last edited:
While I don't wander up to people and ask those questions, when my daughter was a curious toddler I would encourage her to ask the questions, in a polite way, that she had.
One day she did have questions, in a Sam's Club, about the way that a family of Muslim's were dressed. The women were wonderful with her. They told her that they kept their hair covered to honor their families and God. That the beauty of their Hair was only for their families and their husband and to show it to others was to take away from the gift that they were giving to those people.
My daughter left knowing that those Scarfs were a demonstration of love and not a denegration of women. She now has several muslim friend (she is 13 and her friends are a few years younger) who attend taekwondo classes with her. These girls wear their scarves all through class, kicking, punching, jumping and rolling on the floor. There is nothing about them that is anything but proud and enabled. My daughter never questions the headwear, she just knows what it is.
Another thing we struggle with that was mentioned before with my daughter is not to "profile" when she tells me about someone in class, or at the store etc and she starts off with "the black kid" I stop her and ask her "how is another way you could have described him to me?", So she can start again and say "There was this kid with a red shirt, and he was running around and..." There are a million ways to single someone out without starting with race. I agree that sometimes the police need it when describing someone who is missing, or committed a crime....but there is no reason a 13yo needs to describe a person that way. There is certainly no reason religion needs to come into it.
Laney
One day she did have questions, in a Sam's Club, about the way that a family of Muslim's were dressed. The women were wonderful with her. They told her that they kept their hair covered to honor their families and God. That the beauty of their Hair was only for their families and their husband and to show it to others was to take away from the gift that they were giving to those people.
My daughter left knowing that those Scarfs were a demonstration of love and not a denegration of women. She now has several muslim friend (she is 13 and her friends are a few years younger) who attend taekwondo classes with her. These girls wear their scarves all through class, kicking, punching, jumping and rolling on the floor. There is nothing about them that is anything but proud and enabled. My daughter never questions the headwear, she just knows what it is.
Another thing we struggle with that was mentioned before with my daughter is not to "profile" when she tells me about someone in class, or at the store etc and she starts off with "the black kid" I stop her and ask her "how is another way you could have described him to me?", So she can start again and say "There was this kid with a red shirt, and he was running around and..." There are a million ways to single someone out without starting with race. I agree that sometimes the police need it when describing someone who is missing, or committed a crime....but there is no reason a 13yo needs to describe a person that way. There is certainly no reason religion needs to come into it.
Laney
Quote:
good one!!!
do you think most teens would understand the word "fluent"
HAHAHA
good one!!!
do you think most teens would understand the word "fluent"
HAHAHA
- Mar 25, 2007
- 1,310
- 10
- 181
Quote:
I am sorry to say, I think you may be expecting too much. Stupidity, at least, knows no national boundaries. I also am very sorry to say that it never gets better as people get older; some people just get nastier, the older they get, while other bullies selectively forget their abhorrent behaviors. I know it is very frustrating, but there aren't any real solutions to people who want to be jerks. Best you can do is come up with a smart-alecky answer--I like the one about being able to change colors by the magic words.
My sister-in-law married an Egyptian man, and oh boy, did her kids ever have a hard time in school! My only advice to you is to let these experiences help you develop inner strength and grace in a way that the questioners will never learn: You show a lot of strength of your convictions and mind in what you do, and it takes a great deal of courage and grace to do that when there is so much pressure to conform. By learning to countenance these people with compassion for their foolishness while maintaining your personal dignity and civility, you will develop a skill that very few people have. And this skill will serve you well in later life.
I am sorry to say, I think you may be expecting too much. Stupidity, at least, knows no national boundaries. I also am very sorry to say that it never gets better as people get older; some people just get nastier, the older they get, while other bullies selectively forget their abhorrent behaviors. I know it is very frustrating, but there aren't any real solutions to people who want to be jerks. Best you can do is come up with a smart-alecky answer--I like the one about being able to change colors by the magic words.
Quote:
I think this is such a beautiful post you've written!
Arabookworm, I am sorry as well that you have to face ignorance like that on a day to day basis. I personally never, ever judge someone by their religion or race, I judge them by what kind of a person they are, if they are kind, mean, generous, selfish, etc. I am not trying to toot my own horn, it is just the truth. I personally don't have much of any Faith or Religion, and I would hope nobody would judge me because of that. Faith can be a beautiful thing in all religions, and each religion has its history, each religion has its skeletons, too. There is not one single culture that does not have its black mark somewhere in history, no one culture should claim righteousness over any other. It is our lack of understanding and acceptance of others, and our tendency toward self-righteousness that has made human history so bleak.
I think this is such a beautiful post you've written!
Arabookworm, I am sorry as well that you have to face ignorance like that on a day to day basis. I personally never, ever judge someone by their religion or race, I judge them by what kind of a person they are, if they are kind, mean, generous, selfish, etc. I am not trying to toot my own horn, it is just the truth. I personally don't have much of any Faith or Religion, and I would hope nobody would judge me because of that. Faith can be a beautiful thing in all religions, and each religion has its history, each religion has its skeletons, too. There is not one single culture that does not have its black mark somewhere in history, no one culture should claim righteousness over any other. It is our lack of understanding and acceptance of others, and our tendency toward self-righteousness that has made human history so bleak.
Quote:
Sirens from emergency vehicles. Of course you can't hear them with a radio blasting away, either.
Sirens from emergency vehicles. Of course you can't hear them with a radio blasting away, either.
Its your choice to wear it all the while knowing the current mood of the country.
Same applied during and after Vietnam.
The only recourse that you have to those who are generational Americans is to show that you love the place you were born in, which is the USA. Same as if you were born in your native land.
You want to protect what is being given you by your elders and pass this to your children to the best of your ability. Conflicts arise and prejudices are naturally formed.
In my opinion, this "understanding" of generational Americans toward your customs for me/us to understand was disturbed by 9/11. Before this there was no problem.
In my opinion, after that date it is up to those who feel that they must continually explain their appearance in society to re-double their efforts in explaining the difference between the perpetrators and the main stream/everyday people like yourself.
As a retail store owner we cannot be prejudice since every customer willingly gives us their money for the products and services we sell. We are very gratefully for their support. We try and carry products that cater to everyone.
This is not meant as a flame or to offend you in any way.
But, after the date mentioned above please understand that it takes awhile to get over and re-understand cultures after.
Maybe fault lies with me as to why this happened but if we were robbed by someone clothed in the manner you describe we would be triply/quadruply suspicious.
Do you understand what I'm saying here? If not please respond so I can further understand.
I come from the Hippy generation. Have always had long hair and to this day after being in business for ourselves for over 20 years still have prejudice against "our" generation that did not fully "conform" but have an understanding with our customers. that helps us both.
Same applied during and after Vietnam.
The only recourse that you have to those who are generational Americans is to show that you love the place you were born in, which is the USA. Same as if you were born in your native land.
You want to protect what is being given you by your elders and pass this to your children to the best of your ability. Conflicts arise and prejudices are naturally formed.
In my opinion, this "understanding" of generational Americans toward your customs for me/us to understand was disturbed by 9/11. Before this there was no problem.
In my opinion, after that date it is up to those who feel that they must continually explain their appearance in society to re-double their efforts in explaining the difference between the perpetrators and the main stream/everyday people like yourself.
As a retail store owner we cannot be prejudice since every customer willingly gives us their money for the products and services we sell. We are very gratefully for their support. We try and carry products that cater to everyone.
This is not meant as a flame or to offend you in any way.
But, after the date mentioned above please understand that it takes awhile to get over and re-understand cultures after.
Maybe fault lies with me as to why this happened but if we were robbed by someone clothed in the manner you describe we would be triply/quadruply suspicious.
Do you understand what I'm saying here? If not please respond so I can further understand.
I come from the Hippy generation. Have always had long hair and to this day after being in business for ourselves for over 20 years still have prejudice against "our" generation that did not fully "conform" but have an understanding with our customers. that helps us both.
Last edited:
- Status
Similar threads
New posts New threads Active threads
-
Threads with more replies in the last 15 days
-
-
-
Anyone trained their dog to stay away from chickens like this?- Started by ChickenShepherd_6116
- Replies: 77
-
I culled my first cockerel, now what?- Started by redinator
- Replies: 57
-
-
