It all started at Taco Bell.....

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Acre of Blessings, Oct 24, 2011.

  1. Acre of Blessings

    Acre of Blessings Canning/Sewing Addict

    Apr 3, 2008
    Axton, VA
    “$5.37”! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

    I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

    I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

    I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

    I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

    Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

    "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind!

    "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

    I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

    That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

    Then, a few other objects came into focus:
    The car seat in the back seat.
    Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.
    A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

    Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

    Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

    I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

    All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

    Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

    I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

    She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

    All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

    As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

    The good news was I had successfully found my way home! God, I needed a hug...
  2. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Thanks for the laugh and hope you will settle down for the day. Time to stay off the road!
  3. stoopid

    stoopid Chicken Fairy Godmother

    Aug 3, 2011
    Long Island, NY
    Aww, I got my first senior discount at 35. Just because I have fabulous grey hair.
    Stoopid kids.
    I'm sorry!
  4. ChooksinChoppers

    ChooksinChoppers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 24, 2011
    Ocala, Florida.
    [​IMG] Oh dear! You DO need a hug!
    Good thing you only left your food in the truck....last time I did that I was in such a rush to get out of the strange vehicle, I only grabbed my bags of purchases and left my purse in there! Didn't realise until I got home but happily a couple of days later the guy called me at work after calling every number on the many business cards I had in my purse. All my cash was still in it too. [​IMG]
  5. featherfinder

    featherfinder Runner Lover

    Apr 16, 2011
    Pinallas Park, Florida
    Best story i have heard in awhile! Good thing the cop didnt know you were racing or that is a $1000 ticket!!

    I think you were just to caught up in the kids comment.
  6. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Thanks. Now I want Taco Bell.
  7. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 23, 2010
    Ottawa, Ohio

    This was the year I stopped coloring my hair. A glorious full mane of GRAY. Up until this year, I would get carded for beer (granted, they card if you look 40 or under)..... but I'm 53.


    No worries though.... those young whipper-snappers have NO idea how cool us old folks are. Way cooler than them anyhow, LOL!

  8. Miyashi

    Miyashi Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 20, 2011
    Gaylord, MI
    Yeah me too. Taco Bell ho!
    I hope I have an eventful time too!
    I'm jealous!
    The senior citizen discount thing would have made me mad too!
    I'm 21...but still.
    When I turned 21, I went to buy some Smirnoff all by my big bad self and the lady didn't even ID me.
    I left the beer on the counter and went some place else!
    I have people get mad at me at work when I don't give them the discount. They say "Well I am a senior" and I say "I can't just give it to you without your asking...if I do and you get offended, well that's just not right. So you must specify that is what you would like."
    And you are never too old to be driving too fast. ^_^
    Enjoy your blankies!
  9. Miyashi

    Miyashi Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 20, 2011
    Gaylord, MI
    Quote:My Mom has had a full head of gray since she was 25. She's 40 now...still dying her hair.
    I dye mine too. Such is life!
  10. Spookwriter

    Spookwriter Overrun With Chickens

    Feb 23, 2010
    How vividly I remember the day I got my first "senior discount".
    I'm not going to share the details because, quite frankly, it was


    Made much worse by the fact that my daughter, her best friend and
    my dear wife were all but rolling in the floor laughing.

    People for tables around were made aware that I was now somehow...

    They did not realize that the poor waitress had obliviously made a mistake,
    for which I was attempting to correct her.

    Spook....Who saw no humor in the day.

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