So very sorry to hear this. I know it makes Christmas a hard day to deal with after something like this. In 2010, I lost both of my parents and my husband and you were one of the ones who posted to me. I'm sorry I have to do the same for you. I don't think other than saying that you're sorry helps very much in times like these. No one knows what the other person is feeling in their situation. We all grieve differently yet in lots of ways the same. It's not easy being the one that's left behind. I think they go to a better place, but when you're hurting, the place that's best for them is with us. We don't want them to go without us or to leave us here without them. I hope your family find some comfort and peace. Thinking of you. <3