Joke : Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by krjwaj, Sep 25, 2008.

  1. krjwaj

    krjwaj Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 7, 2008
    Apex, NC
    Regardless of political affiliation, this is funny!


    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

    JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
    What is your definition of crossing?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE, CNN LEGAL COMMENTATOR: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No li ttle bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
    I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road.
    It's as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
    This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
     
  2. Nemo

    Nemo Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 22, 2008
    N'rn Wisconsin
    I always heard that it was to show the raccoons and squirrels it COULD be done.

    Donne: It crosseth for thee.
     
  3. Chicken_Fairy

    Chicken_Fairy New Egg

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    Sep 25, 2008
    [​IMG]
    Thank you for the laughs!

    "Why did the sock cross the road? Because the chicken was wearing it!"

    [​IMG]

    CF
     
  4. mtnhomechick

    mtnhomechick Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 27, 2008
    Mountain Home, AR
    [​IMG]
     
  5. Telamon

    Telamon Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2010
    I have no idea.
    bump!
     
  6. WoodlandWoman

    WoodlandWoman Overrun With Chickens

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    May 8, 2007
    Wisconsin
    Because he saw a fork up ahead!
     

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