Jokes any you can think of!

[farmgirlie1031]

LOL

 

[Lil Chirp]

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and reads:
Panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring;Eats shoots and leaves.

 

[ilovemychickies]

 

[eggzettera]

This one is my favorite....

Mahatma Ghandi decides to renew his faith by going on a 40 day pilgrimage.

Foregoing all but the barest of necessities.

So barefoot, armed with only 40 gloves of garlic and a canteen, he sets off, wandering the desert for 40 days & nights.

As each day passes, Ghandi becomes weaker & weaker with each step, each step causing blisters to form and the garlic is giving him some incredibly bad breath.

That is how Ghandi become known as.....











Wait for it....





Wait for it.....







"super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis."

 

[ticks]

good one!

 

[Bec]

This one makes me crack up everytime...

A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

 

[Lothiriel]

i cracked up at every one of them!!

you guys have some really great jokes. i don't have any though.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

A blond is driving by a wheat field and sees another blonde in the field trying desperately to row a boat. The first blonde pulls her car over, gets out, and walks to the edge of the field. She shouts to the blonde in the boat "It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name. If I could swim I would come out there and kick your backside"

 

[chicken_boy_Kurt]

 

[ilovemychickies]

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."