Ok, here are the dynamics. I am the oldest of 3 children (I am 52) married, with 3 children of my own. I have 2 brothers, one who lives in CA (we are in OH), and the other lives in the same town as me & my family. My father died 2 years ago Dec 30, so Mom is all alone. This year she wants to celebrate Christmas with all of her family at her house. Before dad died, we always celebrated Christmas day, in the afternoon. That left Christmas eve for the spouse's family and Christmas morning at our own homes for the kids. The day after Christmas is my MIL's birthday, and this year she turns 90 (which I think is a HUGE deal and we should be with her).
My brother is married to a woman who is an only child (spoiled), and she has one child from a previous marriage. Up until this year, she kept her controlling ways to my brother and her son. THIS year she told my mother that "they want to have our Christmas Dec 26th, since that is the only day she will have her son". She took him with us on a trip to CA last year (at my mother's expense), so this year is the dad's turn for the holiday. THEN she says... "we want to eat at 1:00, because we get hungry waiting until after we open gifts. We can open gifts AFTER we eat". They are all severely overweight (brother is 385, SIL 285, nephew 190 at age 13).
Ok, IF she was hosting this party, I could see how it would be acceptable for her to dictate to the entire rest of the family when, where and how things were going to happen. But this just really ticks me off. My mother doesn't want to upset her (so that my brother doesn't have to listen to her complain), so she is going along with it. I personally think we should celebrate it at the normal time on the usual day and give her son any gifts he may receive later. WHY DO WE HAVE TO CATER TO HER & HER KID? I really like her son, and have never had to deal with anything like this before with this woman, but this seriously makes me want to skip my mom's celebration. I should be with my husband celebrating HIS mother's 90th birthday (his sisters have planned a nice party & dinner).... not kissing some controlling SIL butt We are talking about me, my 3 kids, my son's 2 boys & wife, my husband, my aunt & uncle and 2 cousins that she expects to go along with her plans.
Anybody think I'm overreacting?
Thoughts, suggestions? UGH.
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My brother is married to a woman who is an only child (spoiled), and she has one child from a previous marriage. Up until this year, she kept her controlling ways to my brother and her son. THIS year she told my mother that "they want to have our Christmas Dec 26th, since that is the only day she will have her son". She took him with us on a trip to CA last year (at my mother's expense), so this year is the dad's turn for the holiday. THEN she says... "we want to eat at 1:00, because we get hungry waiting until after we open gifts. We can open gifts AFTER we eat". They are all severely overweight (brother is 385, SIL 285, nephew 190 at age 13).
Ok, IF she was hosting this party, I could see how it would be acceptable for her to dictate to the entire rest of the family when, where and how things were going to happen. But this just really ticks me off. My mother doesn't want to upset her (so that my brother doesn't have to listen to her complain), so she is going along with it. I personally think we should celebrate it at the normal time on the usual day and give her son any gifts he may receive later. WHY DO WE HAVE TO CATER TO HER & HER KID? I really like her son, and have never had to deal with anything like this before with this woman, but this seriously makes me want to skip my mom's celebration. I should be with my husband celebrating HIS mother's 90th birthday (his sisters have planned a nice party & dinner).... not kissing some controlling SIL butt We are talking about me, my 3 kids, my son's 2 boys & wife, my husband, my aunt & uncle and 2 cousins that she expects to go along with her plans.
Anybody think I'm overreacting?
Thoughts, suggestions? UGH.
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