Just a rant about my SIL

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by zippitydooda, Dec 11, 2010.

  1. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Ok, here are the dynamics. I am the oldest of 3 children (I am 52) married, with 3 children of my own. I have 2 brothers, one who lives in CA (we are in OH), and the other lives in the same town as me & my family. My father died 2 years ago Dec 30, so Mom is all alone. This year she wants to celebrate Christmas with all of her family at her house. Before dad died, we always celebrated Christmas day, in the afternoon. That left Christmas eve for the spouse's family and Christmas morning at our own homes for the kids. The day after Christmas is my MIL's birthday, and this year she turns 90 (which I think is a HUGE deal and we should be with her).

    My brother is married to a woman who is an only child (spoiled), and she has one child from a previous marriage. Up until this year, she kept her controlling ways to my brother and her son. THIS year she told my mother that "they want to have our Christmas Dec 26th, since that is the only day she will have her son". She took him with us on a trip to CA last year (at my mother's expense), so this year is the dad's turn for the holiday. THEN she says... "we want to eat at 1:00, because we get hungry waiting until after we open gifts. We can open gifts AFTER we eat". They are all severely overweight (brother is 385, SIL 285, nephew 190 at age 13).

    Ok, IF she was hosting this party, I could see how it would be acceptable for her to dictate to the entire rest of the family when, where and how things were going to happen. But this just really ticks me off. My mother doesn't want to upset her (so that my brother doesn't have to listen to her complain), so she is going along with it. I personally think we should celebrate it at the normal time on the usual day and give her son any gifts he may receive later. WHY DO WE HAVE TO CATER TO HER & HER KID? I really like her son, and have never had to deal with anything like this before with this woman, but this seriously makes me want to skip my mom's celebration. I should be with my husband celebrating HIS mother's 90th birthday (his sisters have planned a nice party & dinner).... not kissing some controlling SIL butt We are talking about me, my 3 kids, my son's 2 boys & wife, my husband, my aunt & uncle and 2 cousins that she expects to go along with her plans.

    Anybody think I'm overreacting?

    Thoughts, suggestions? UGH. [​IMG]:
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2010
  2. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    I vote for everyone showing up early at your Mom's on The Day... helping her get everything ready... and doing everything as planned. And then whenever the heck Bro, SIL and Son can have leftovers and open their gifts...
     
  3. dandelionheart

    dandelionheart Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:[​IMG]
    Your SIL is being demanding and unreasonable. I would have Christmas at your mother's or bring her over and have a delightful Christmas Day - in the afternoon. DON'T cater to your SIL. If you *do* give in, you will progressively be manipulated over and over. No one is ever this demanding without having some kind of power kick from it. [​IMG] Enjoy your MIL's birthday party...
     
  4. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    I WOULD go to your MIL's party..
     
  5. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 23, 2010
    Ottawa, Ohio
    You all have pretty much told me what I know in my heart is true.... I guess I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a [email protected]!*^.....

    Would it be mean spirited to invite everyone to MY house on Christmas day afternoon even though I know SIL & nephew can't make it ? Then whatever anyone else wants to do on Dec 26th would be up to them.... and I could attend my MIL's party without feeling like I bailed out on the family celebration...
     
  6. Carols Clucks

    Carols Clucks Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:I totally agree!

    It is too bad for her that her son is with his Dad on Christmas Day. They should show up and celebrate with Mom (what else were they planning on doing?) and they can invite Mom over for the delayed 26th Christmas celebration with the son.

    And enjoy the MIL's 90th b-day with her!
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2010
  7. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    Quote:It is all in the presentation. Just put it forward as, since we have changed things up a bit this year and this leaves a time slot open you would really love to have everyone over Christmas day in the afternoon at your house. and that since you already had holdiay plans on the 26th it would give you a chance to have a bit of holidays with the family. Make sure you say something like, for those who can't make it we will miss seeing you but hope you have a wonderful day at moms.
     
  8. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Quote:Thats what i would do...
     
  9. coloradochick

    coloradochick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I would pull Bro aside and explain that your mom is only going along with this to protect him from his wifes wrath. And that you and the rest of the family are going to do things the way they are done every year and if he can make it great if not come when you can. Pretty simple Zippity and you sound like youre a pretty no nonsense type gal [​IMG]
     
  10. panner123

    panner123 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 15, 2007
    Garden Valley, ca
    First time in this area, was asked what I thought about your Christmas holidays. Since this is a child friendly site, I can't really tell you what I would do. I just think that a family that has had this special day the same way for many years and the 90 year old's birthday party should NOT be changed. As for the time of the meal, I think anyone the weighs that much could go days without a problem. (I am a few pounds over myself) Tell her (them) that the holiday season will not change. Hurt feelings, tough chicken poop.
     

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