Just a rant about my SIL

[Sir Birdaholic]

I vote to put SIL in a gift wrapped box & not open it till NEXT Christmas!

 

[MysticScorpio82]

Let's see if I have this straight:
1) Your MIL is turning 90 on the 26th
2) You already had plans to be with MIL on the 26th
3) SIL comes out of no where and starts to dictate that christmas will be held at your mothers on the 26th...?

If this is the case, here is what I would do:
1)Have christmas morning at your house, go to your mothers in the afternoon (like you always have done) and
2)then go to your MIL's 90th birthday on the 26th.

**If SIL wants to have christmas at your mothers on the 26th, let her. It doesn't mean you have to go on the 26th. You already had plans, and forgive me, but God only knows if your MIL will even live to see another birthday, so I think that takes priority.

You can always leave your SIL's gifts at your mothers for them to open the next day...

 

[MysticScorpio82]

Quote:
It is all in the presentation. Just put it forward as, since we have changed things up a bit this year and this leaves a time slot open you would really love to have everyone over Christmas day in the afternoon at your house. and that since you already had holdiay plans on the 26th it would give you a chance to have a bit of holidays with the family. Make sure you say something like, for those who can't make it we will miss seeing you but hope you have a wonderful day at moms.

I agree. It is all about how you present the idea.

 

[zippitydooda]

Not only do I love BYC, I love you all! Thanks so much for all your input. I appreciate everyone's perspective. It has truly helped me feel secure in my decision.

Over the river & through the woods, to grandmother's house I go (on her birthday!) LOL!

Merry Christmas to you all.

zippitydooda aka Jean

 

[sourland]

Why not take your mother along when you go to the MIL's b'day? I'd celebrate with your Mom on Christmas day and then invite her to come with you the next day. 90th birthday is an "occassion."

 

[HHandbasket]

Tell SIL if she wants to dictate the goings on of a party on the 26th, feel free to host one herself at her home but that y'all will be having a birthday party for your mother's 90th birthday on that day.

I would not change your pre-existing plans for your SIL, even if she were being really sweet about it (which it does not sound like she is being). Try to be diplomatic, tell her you are sorry that her limitations cannot accommodate plans already in place for the entire rest of the family and that you hope she will be able to join in the festivities whenever she can.

If her feelings are still hurt over it, remind her that she has chosen to feel that way and that you hope she will lighten up and enjoy the holiday with the rest of the family as already planned.

 

[Mattemma]

I would not do any of the things SIL requested. Your brother can deal with her. I would say,' Sorry we already have things planned out for this year,but perhaps next year we can make plans that better fit your needs IF you let us know early on how you would like to celebrate the holidays." MIL 90 is priority. Mom is priority. If SIL is so hungry she should eat some snacks or a meal before going over.

Hope you all have a nice time whatever is decided in the end.

Me, I just stay home with the kids.Call-don't call.Come over-don't come over.... life goes on and we are having a nice day.Leave the drama/attitude at the door or good home is my thought.

 

[zippitydooda]

Quote:
I should have listened to THIS advice. She's at it again. UGH. I am so TIRED of her stupid manipulation. I don't care if I do make her angry. She can just get OVER herself.

This time it was my mom's 75th birthday she tried to hijack. Now she's mad at me for sticking to my original plans. Tough patootie.

 

[sred98]

You just can't win with people like this. Stick to your original plans and enjoy your mother's birthday!

Good luck,

Shelly

 

[onthespot]

Mail out invitations, put a snickers bar in hers. Keep to your original plans.