Just curious who else is living super frugal

[Stumpy]

newfoundland, I enjoyed reading that -- thanks for sharing. Our culture has become so materialistic.

I thought I was being so frugal yesterday when I saw pumpkins for one dollar each. I had read that chickens loved pumpkin, but after a few pecks, my chickens were like, "Eh. We'd rather forage." I guess I better get to canning or freezing or drying.....

 

[galanie]

newfoundland, you reminded me of my dad. He grew up on a farm in east Tennessee and for Christmas all the kids got an Orange. That was it. An orange. But they couldn't have them any other time, they were too expensive.

Personally I think Christmas has turned right back into the big Pagan holiday it was to begin with, before Christians made it the celebration of the birth of Christ, supplanting the Pagan celebration of the rebirth of their male god. Way overdone and a source of stress rather than the joy it should bring.

PS my mothers family is from Newfoundland. "goofy newfy" that is completely surrounded by landwashes.

 

[HeatherLynn]

On the pumpkins: Did you cut them for them. Mine go nuts for pumpkins. I toss them in kinda hard so they split and its like a party. They really go nuts for them.


Ok guys talk me down a bit. I am feeling awful. Ok my sons 12th birthday. I went way more than i usually do. He got 50 in star wars collectables which he is fanatic about and I am taking him and a couple buddies to play lazer tag. To him this is a big huge deal. I usually cannot afford anything expensive. A hundred for the entire birthday is more my speed. This year its 200 and I had to work hard to budget that in. So he is showing his star wars stuff and honestly he is so excited and thrilled. His friend says thats nothing and pulls out his ipod and iphone he got for his birthday. WHAT? my sons face drops a bit. My heart sinks even more. If I didn't stay at home with the kids and went back to work I could afford these things too but with one income we just can't. On top of that with our debt free goal so close to completion I can't go nuts on buying stuff and I don't think I even want to but I hate the kids feeling bad or always being considered the poor kids. ( not that I think we are poor. Being so close to debt free I am feeling pretty dang rich.)

I know stuff isn't everything blah blah blah. I already gave myself the lecture. I just feel like I big fat failure right now. My kid looked sad and I worked so hard to make him happy on his birthday. Sometimes i feel like just caving in to the majority.

 

[ScottnLydia]

On the pumpkins: Did you cut them for them. Mine go nuts for pumpkins. I toss them in kinda hard so they split and its like a party. They really go nuts for them.


Ok guys talk me down a bit. I am feeling awful. Ok my sons 12th birthday. I went way more than i usually do. He got 50 in star wars collectables which he is fanatic about and I am taking him and a couple buddies to play lazer tag. To him this is a big huge deal. I usually cannot afford anything expensive. A hundred for the entire birthday is more my speed. This year its 200 and I had to work hard to budget that in. So he is showing his star wars stuff and honestly he is so excited and thrilled. His friend says thats nothing and pulls out his ipod and iphone he got for his birthday. WHAT? my sons face drops a bit. My heart sinks even more. If I didn't stay at home with the kids and went back to work I could afford these things too but with one income we just can't. On top of that with our debt free goal so close to completion I can't go nuts on buying stuff and I don't think I even want to but I hate the kids feeling bad or always being considered the poor kids. ( not that I think we are poor. Being so close to debt free I am feeling pretty dang rich.)

I know stuff isn't everything blah blah blah. I already gave myself the lecture. I just feel like I big fat failure right now. My kid looked sad and I worked so hard to make him happy on his birthday. Sometimes i feel like just caving in to the majority.

Ooh, Heatherlynn, That's dancing mighty close to the "Keeping up with the Jones's" trap! I'm sorry dear heart, but no matter where you go, or what you do, there will always be somebody showing off their "better' stuff! Whether it's to you or your kids, (kids sometimes are more tactless, sometimes), there are just those folks so fixed on trying to prove to you that they've got more and better stuff!

Your kids, like adults, need to learn that, while 'stuff' is nice, fun, etc, it doesn't make you any better of a person (in your sons case, 'man')! A great person is often someone who can get along fine with no stuff! Like someone who walks across America, instead of drives. Or lives in a yurt in the wilderness with no conveniences instead of a house. Someone who can make a pizza from scratch instead of calling for delivery!

I stopped caring about what the 'Jones's' were doing a long time ago. We realized that they were just trying to fill some big void in their souls with stuff to make something 'feel better'. But until they address what the emptiness is, they will never be able to fill it!

No matter how many cutting edge electronic gee-gaws and flashy hoo-haws they may flash at you, at the end of the day, they're no more human than you are and the sun shines on you just as brightly!

Now make yourself a cup of cocao, and tell yourself you are a good mom. (Oh, did you hear? The Jones's have imported cocao!)

~S

 

[Beekissed]

I think that is the hardest part of frugal living...the kids. As adults we know the value of material things, or lack thereof, but kids are constantly bombarded with evidence that their peers have more and "better" stuff. Now, I've found that this will affect kids in one of two ways...either they will grow up and try to buy their kids all the "things I never had" , or they will be like you and try to teach their children the relative value of "stuff". I have one that is of the former mindset and two that are of the latter...and all raised in the same frugal household. Two out of three isn't bad, by my reckoning.

Stick to your guns because it has never, ever been a good idea to bring up children with the idea that self worth and happiness is measured in bigger and better "stuff". My material guy will soon learn the truth of it as he gains maturity...if he doesn't, it won't be because he lacked in the learning of it from his mother. It will be a life choice and one that will keep him running hard to keep up, which is the price one pays when they gauge life success by how many toys one has.

 

[DennisK]

Yes! And on top of all that good advice, you are trying so hard to become debt-less – don’t forget that! Being in dept is a kind of enslavement, and what better lesson to teach your children than how to be free.

 

[HeatherLynn]

The kids actually cheered me up again. They told me it felt bad at the time but they would rather have me home then have all the fancy stuff. It doesn't bother me if "I" don't have stuff. It does bother me a bit when the kids feel hurt or slighted. But I guess if they feel they are good with it and its worth it then I should not let it bother me either. Good kids.

 

[ScottnLydia]

You know, I think I posted earlier how,when our kids were little, we didn't have much. They played with sticks and rocks, and used their imaginations. They didn't have nintendo like their friends did. They wore thrift store clothes, but as little kids, nobody cared. Oh, some parents noticed, but not the kids.

It wasn't until middle school that the peer pressure started. Our daughter was hanging out with this one particular girl at the time, and once, ONCE she made the mistake of saying we "owed her" some kind of fancy jeans that were the rage then. We found out that this 'Friend' was fond of pitting her parents against each other with sayings like that to get what she wanted.

She never got the jeans. She found out that her 'friend' had serious issues with a lot of things, (ended up in jail and a mother while in high school!)

During high school, our daughter began to realize that it was more about who you were as a person that mattered, not what you had. She graduated and went on to put herself through college to get her masters degree in social work and is now working with the school system to help kids with problems. She is great with them, and she will often tell parents of little kids to "Just let them play with sticks and rocks, use their imaginations! They don't need fancy video games at this age!"

They need you, they need your presence, not your presents! Your wisdom, guidance and love. That's what makes you a parent. One of the things that really got to us was when our daughter thanked us for being her parents. She said that too many parents were trying to be their kids' best friends, and failing to be parents! Kids need rules and order, it gives their lives stability. They know where they stand. Without structure they feel like someone riding a roller coaster without anything to hold on to, no seat belt, and nothing to hold them in. They gave you their answer, they want you in their lives. It'll work out fine.

~S

 

[Beekissed]

Well said!!!

 

[newfoundland]

Never cave in Heatherlynn. My fall back position has always been to remind children of the many millions around the world who have no home, schooling, and all the other things our children take for granted. You are a wonderful mum, i can tell by your posts, and guess what, your children know that too. Sadly in our societies, too many know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Recommending reading, any of Charles Dickens novels, they deal in what is really important in life. God Bless!