Just curious who else is living super frugal

[sulco]

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I totally forgot about that, but I use Freecycle too and have met some really nice folks. And it feels nice to be able to help someone else as well.

ED: OH!!! And another great place to get wood is around a college at the end of the semester... the dumpsters are like goldmines for lumber from lofts/etc.

And another place I have salvaged wood is in the scrap bin in the lumber yard.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Ugg......I am trying to be kind! My MIL drives me nuts! We are soooo very different in many, many ways. One of them is our lifestyle versus hers. She spends every last dime that she has, mostly on absolutely nothing. She and her hubby have not saved for retirement at all. Their plan is to just live on Social Security. For the past 15 years they have had the capability to put money away, but have not. Their choice -- no biggie to me. It doesn't bother me, just giving you a little insight into their world.

She insists on spending crazy amounts of money on absolute junk for my children at Christmas. She feels it is very silly to put money away for college and such -- we've asked her to do that with some of the money spent at Christmas, so that our home is not filled with junk that our kids don't even play with. I have told her this and she doesn't reallly care because it's not what she wants to do. Now I just get rid of items immediately. Well, she has been bugging my DD about a doll that she bought her 4 years ago -- Do we still have it? Where is it? It was an ugly little doll. My daughter did not even play with it for two years and two years after that, we got rid of it. I believe, my DD actually set it in the pile to get rid of. A couple of the dolls went to the other Grandma's house, some went to an older couple for their granddaughters to play with while visiting, and the rest went to the Salvation Army. Well, I guess the MIL just feels that it was sooo very special all of the sudden. It was only special to her. The only things in this life that are special are the items/junk that she buys for our kids. We are equal opportunity de-clutterers. : ) It doesn't matter who it came from, where it came from, if it is not played with or holds real sentimental value then it finds a new home.

Sorry for the vent! Our family does not hold items/material possesions in the highest regard. Yes, there are some items that we own that hold sentimental value, some that are useful, but we aren't clinging to our every last possesion. I know that I need to consider the source -- my MIL rents a storage unit to store the clutter (and it is absolute clutter) that does not fit in her home. Her home is filled with junk/clutter, as is her basement and sheds. I wouldn't call her a hoarder because it is not floor to ceiling, but it's definitely a love of material items.

Sorry! Rant is done!

 

[loanwizard]

I just found this thread and thought I would chime in. I have a story that some might find painful, but I am finding that it is exhilerating. I am 45 years old and have been in the car business for over 20 years. Life was good. At one time I was a paper millionaire. We had a nice house, nice cars, rental properties, a car lot, everything we touched seemed to turn to gold. I played golf every day at lunch at the local country club. In 2006, I decided to expand my business and thought I would hire a bunch of employees to duplicate what I was doing. Long story short, I found that while I am a hard working go getter, I am not a great manager. The economy did its thing, I got a divorce (with no lawyer), and I went into what is best described as a 3 year depression. I mean, I went to work every day, but I was just going through the motions. I lost my children for two years. They actively hated me and refused to speak to me let alone come see me. I lost the big house through foreclosure. I had some big life insurance policies and briefly considered suicide, although I believe that I am much too narcissistic to ever actually act upon that impulse. If I calculate it correctly, I am probably close to a net worth of around -$400,000.00. That said, I am now back to work in a more normal fashion although I spend entirely too much time here on the computer. I am in a workout program with my bank, I have a somewhat normal relationship with my teenagers, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I used to blow a LOT of money on fishing equipment, restaurants, Walmart, basically anywhere I shopped.

Today, my girlfriend is an extreme couponer saving an average of about 70% on household goods. We bought a lot of clothing at garage sales, I bought a 4 acre farm and raise my chickens, a couple of hogs for food, some goats, and our dogs.

I am making all my pens and things out of free materials. I hunt now for food.

This weekend I made home made Laundry soap (20 or so gallons for under $7.00). I processed my first chicken. I haven't used my boat since July because I don't want to waste gas.

I am not the most frugal person on earth but I am working at it.

I just got instructions and am planning to build a waste oil heater for my home as fuel oil is $3.39 per gallon here.

I feel like a new person though. I just built my new website (Free on Weebly) called serenityfarms.com. I met a man that markets Freedom Rangers, Hogs, for really good money, that wants me to produce meat chickens for him. He says I should net about $7.00 per bird profit. We shall see, and that is for a different thread.

Anyhow, I am starting to ramble, but good thread.

 

[chicmom]

I would like to be frugal.......I think my bad habits would be really hard to break though......

 

[kuntrygirl]

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What are some of your bad habits? Maybe we can help.

 

[Totalcolour]

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I know how you feel. And yes, you should consider the source. In your shoes, I would re-iterate, (kindly) but very strongly, that some of the stuff she buys is wasted on the children. Also let her know that if the kids don't like it, you will be giving it to the charity of your choice. Let her know up front what you plan to do with unwanted gifts. That way you are off the hook, and she has advance warning.

Perhaps a better solution though, would be to give her a list of things the kids would really like and use. You could suggest that only things that are bought that are on the list will be kept. After all, you are the parent and it's really up to you to choose what the kids should have until they are of an age to choose for themselves.

And then there are gift certificates! Always useful!

Good luck with this one

 

[Wifezilla]

Even though I am a total tightwad, I have to disagree about grandma. She IS NEVER going to share your values...unless through some strange set of circumstances she changes on her own (Like being struck by lightening or ending up homeless. Anything short of that...I wouldn't hold my breath).

So anyway, getting grandma (or whatever clueless relative) to change their ways is a waste of time. Telling her not to send things will just mean hurt feelings. I would let her do whatever, then if she asks about a specific toy later, just tell her that kids break stuff all the time and it is a gonner...or the dog ate it. Whatever.

It's not worth the battle. And while it is a waste of money, it's HER money to waste. Annoying seeing people throw away perfectly good money that could be used for better things, but it isn't your call. Let it go.

 

[WomanInTheWoods]

Yeah, I "fought" the in-laws buying too much for a while there, too. Now they're divorced and we don't ever see his dad, so between his mom not having the extra spending cash and his dad out of the picture, our problem has been diminished. She still likes to bring us her leftovers from when she goes to auctions or what-have-you, but all-in-all things are better. When we were in the thick of it all though, we mildly protested and then just sent whatever wasn't being played with to Goodwill. So not worth a fight, ya know? Annoying, oh hell yeah!, but still not worth a fight. You can look at it like this; at least they love your kids and are thinking of them. They're just being grandparents.

 

[luvs2garden2000]

What I do, with my grandkids, what I buy for them for holidays and birthdays (they have sooooooooooo much family and friends they get tons of "toys") I keep at my house so they have things to play with here. I have 2 16yr old grandsons, a 10 9 8 yr old grandsons 6 yr old grand daughter 2.5 yr old grand daughter and a 14 hr old new grandson ( all his "toys go home with him).

And if they want to take the occasional toy home with them, we tell them, IF you forgot to bring it back you wont have "that" to play with here. It usually does come back.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Yes, I wouldn't fight with her. I have nicely let her know that we don't always keep everything around when she's asked before. I now just get rid of it without a thought otherwise. We are just different people. She doesn't see our kids much even though we are a few miles apart -- maybe once every 2-3 months. I kinda think the time spent with the kids is more important than items bought, but it's her choice. And she thinks in quantity not quality. So $150-$200 spent per child on toys is too much, especially since we do Santa and a few family members also purchase them small gifts. Gift cards are out. As are gifts of paying for dance, swimming, etc classes. And, as I've said before, so is putting a little of it into a college fund. It's not what she wants/likes to do. I don't ever expect her to change. Just venting! Thanks for letting me and for the advice given. I appreciate it! This frugal family is just soooo different from her.