Just one friend...

[first time farmer]

I know what you mean. I always had friends at school but never had friends that i hung out with. Until this year. Now i have a whole group of friends that i hang out with. I also have a girlfriend. Its so nice to have a group of friends now.

I was always ok with not really having friend but now i would never go back.

 

[kargo]

Thanks guys. I'm so glad I've made a friend. I really needed one. I was so lonely. What stinks is that now I'm really reluctant to trust because of all of the failed friendships.

 

[sred98]

It's hard learning to trust. I've had trust issues my whole life, so I understand.

You have to put yourself out there, though. That's part of it. Start small, don't tell them all your deepest darkest secrets right away. KWIM? Just little things. Maybe even set a timeline? Sounds crazy, but since it's been awhile since you've had a friend, try and tell her one small thing about you a week. Wait for her to share something, then the next week, you share something.

Just silly things, like a boy you think is cute. Or, a teacher that is really mean, or really nice. When you're comfortable, tell her about more serious things, like your dad. You'll know when it's time, because she'll start sharing things more and more important to her.

People can get overwhelmed if they start out by saying, "My favorite color is purple" and you respond by telling them your deepest darkest secret or your most painful. Start small. On the other hand, if she is sharing things with you that seem really important, special, or painful, you need to respond. Don't reply by laughing (even nervous laughter!) or changing the subject. A good response is, "Wow. That must have made you really ....(sad, happy, mad, etc)" That opens the door for communication and sharing feelings.

Even share with her how embarrassed you were about the teacher putting your picture up in class.

You'll do fine! Is one of them the one you were talking about a while back when she asked what your dad did? Are both the girls friends with each other already, or are you all just now getting to know each other?

Congrats!

Shelly

 

[redhen]

Good for you!

I agree, start small, and most importantly, be yourself! You're going to have alot more ups and even some downs during high school. Just keep your chin up and always remember who you are, (a good, kind, caring person). Noone can ever take that away from you.

 

[MaggieRae]

Friends are fun and are usually really helpful, like that post about learning sign language and taking notes by Bluemoon420.

I have a couple of close friends I spend time with, and am simply civil to the rest to avoid all the drama.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
It's weird. We started out with big things. She would tell me things like, "I feel so nervous around those other girls at school. I think they hate me or something." So I have already told her about my dad. She's cool with the whole thing. She still likes me, unlike the people that abandoned me right after they found out what happened.

I told her that, too. She understands, I think. She likes this teacher, and so do I.

Yeah. One of them is. Her name is Ashley. The other girl is from Iraq. Both of them are in their first year at our school. This is my fourth year. Anyway, none of us had met before, but we are all friends now.

 

[sred98]

That is so great! You'll have to let us know how your sleepover went! One thing...make sure if your Iraqi friend is Muslim that the snacks you serve are gelatin-free! Even most candy corn has gelatin in it. Also Doritos and Cheetos are not Halal or Kosher certified. My kids have a lot of Muslim friends and we have learned that a lot of things that you wouldn't think of, are not ok to eat. Any of the other chips should be fine! Besides the pork rinds! LOL!

You know, sometimes when people are uncomfortable, they just prefer to pretend nothing happened. It's probably not that they didn't like you, but just didn't know how to react to your dad dying. It probably freaked them out. Then, they avoided you because they didn't know what to say, then as time went on, they felt bad, now they avoid you because they feel awful about it. You might try reaching out to them if you think it is worth it. But, it sounds like your new friends are AWESOME!!!

Sounds like this is going to be a great school year for you! I am excited for you! My DD is a freshman and this year has been SO GOOD for her so far! She's made some good friends, and has some nice teachers. She is having a good time, too.

Hey...my DD's name is Ashley...you're not at her school, are you?? LOL! J/K! Please don't give out any personal info!

Always be safe!

Shelly

 

[kargo]

Quote:
Huh! That's interesting. I totally didn't know that. Our school is a Christian school, however, we do have internationals, so we have Buddhists, Muslims...who knows what else. I do not know her stance on faith, but it couldn;t hrut to know that stuff. Thanks for the heads-up.

Yeah. I think that is what happened. Still, it's sad that they abandoned me when I needed them most.

Yeah. I'm hoping it will be a good year. I've had bad ones for a while now. 6th and 8th were particularly awful.

xP Well, cosnidering I'm on the other side of the country, I don't think so...xP I've been taught a TON about internet safety, but reminders are definitely a good thing, so thanks for that.

 

[Biddieacres]

1

 

[kargo]

So happy for you kargo. Maybe you can learn a new language from your new friend!!!

That would be nice. I don't see myself learning Arabic very easily, though. xP​